Any of you degenerates had the chicken pox? I never have, but two days ago I started getting a slight rash on my arms. They're too red to be mosquito bites, and too small to be juniper rash (I was cutting back some juniper bushes in my yard around the same time).

I noticed last night it's starting to spread from the back of my forearms to my upper arms, and a couple on my chest. Itches like fuck. Do we have a fake doctor here, because I have to have one foot in the grave before I'll go see one of those snake oil salesman.