Its bed time on the east coast but I want to thank all but one of you for your help... (if I dont tell you when to pull the fries up,dont tell me how to post) The guys all gave great advice,but the chicks gave me insight. My only concern now is that from what I gather finding a soldier to stand beside me whom I can come home to and not have to deal with the constant barrage of attacks and bullshit in the outside world, whom I can love and have her love me in return, take at her word and, whom I can be willing to lay down my life to protect her and show my son how to have a good relationship is going to be a daunting task......if possible at all. When I feel like I cant trust someone who is close enough to me to hurt me I feel as if I am in danger (side effect of my marriage).If I am willing to do all that forever why is fucking honesty too much to ask in return? Shit, I cook she couldnt even handle that....I hope they were just losers. There have to be some women left who live in a way that they can be trusted.....