Go get some coffee, Conk, I'll take this one.
I don't go to film festivals much. Much less porn film festivals, but as usual, the C-list of the porn world turned out to have themselves humiliated by L-ke F-rd's poor photography skills.
Page Morgan and Daniel DeArmond
I'll leave it to you to figure out which one of these beasts is female. And which one of them became famous for 2:07 minutes by getting high on meth and talking shit about various whores to that douchebag Blaise Christie. Her skin is so white, they could get drunk on Thunderbird, drive on over to Sardos and break out into a rousing version of "Ebony & Ivory."
Rating:
Hey, look! It's Sunny Lane & Brian Poeshn
Actually that's Kevin Blatt, getting pretty whore-femme by flipping off the camera. That must be some nice velour he has on...either that or Sunny Lane needs to spray some Magic Sizing spray starch into her hair to keep it from being an attention whore of its own. As to the open whore-mouth...tongue out...you know the drill.
Rating:
Belladonna's brother & Bat"man"
Guys, Merton Hanks has been retired from the NFL for a while now, you can stop trying to imitate the "chicken neck" dance he did after every interception. And hey Jason, is that what you call dressing up for an event? Did your sister have to borrow your one remaining razor to shave the shingles off her ass?
Rating:
"Nick" and "Angel"
Oh, snap! A little emo always makes for a useless porn outing. I'm pretty sure she's a read redhead, but an emodude with red roots on his black dyejob? I though you emofags were positively metrosexual when trying to keep up your image. I guess it just goes to show: one too many raves high on meth can really impair your judgement. You look like you just got raped by Winky Tinky.
Rating:
Madison Scott
I don't know about her getting raped on the PistolWhip Wang set, but someone sure raped her with a case of the Herp...has she ever shot with Brandon Irons?
Rating:
Tori Black, Tea Real
She's moderately strokeworthy. I don't know about the dude, I'd have to ask Jack Lawrence about that sort of thing. And to answer the question around here as to the tallness or shortness of most stuntdick...BTW, what's he feeling around for, a baby?
Rating:
Another porn event on the books, another porn event I happily missed.
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