You're in a good place. You went right past denial and you are experiencing guilt and anger. This, too, shall pass, and you will adjust to a life remembering Clyde instead of actively grieving him. And, you will be healthier for being honest about how heavy it is.

It will come in waves later, then eventually subside. Then, hit you once again, hard. Some time soon, Clyde may send you a signal from beyond.

-Chuck, Vegetarian fanboy