Off to the emergency room ....

This morning in an effort to save less than a dollar on some groceries, I decided to walk to the bodega that opens at ~6am instead of waiting until the one directly across the street from me opens. In addition to getting the items early than usual and a longer walk, I save a whole 8 cents per item and get to say "Feliz Navidad" ... which is an inside joke for me.****

So, at about 5:40, I determine that there is a break in the precipitation. So, I leave the warmth of my Weehawken "womb", decend the 5 sets of stairs and make my way west.

I didn't get too far. The shoveled sidewalks were pure ice. So, I decided to try the middle of street. The street is a slight uphill going west until Palisades Ave. But, I barely went 100 feet when I determined that I wasn't going to make it. For the road was black ice.

In short, on the way back, I fell while ascending a small snow bank. I had hoped that the snow would provide more traction than the half shoveled path from street to icy sidewalk. But, it was glazed with ice and it's odd shape aided in compromising my balance.

I'm pretty sure I cracked a rib or two. I've broken quite a few in my Life. The last was in 2005, I believe. Just "greenstick" fractures, but it hurts quite a bit to breath none the less.

But, it isn't the pain of the broken ribs that bothers me. In fact, other than teeth pain, physical pain doesn't really bother me much. This was far worse. It was the indignity of not being able to get up for what seemed forever.

So there I was .... foundering, unable to get up due to the ice, the fact I could only use 1 arm and the obvious ... I'm too fat and getting old.

I rested in between my "gallant efforts" to bring my ponderousness to my feet only to have my sneakers fail to get a grip on the frozen H20 coating the concrete. Down I went. Again and again. At least these additional falls hurt nothing ... nothing, but what little remains of my pride.

"I've fallen and I can't get up ... " It echoed mockingly in my self-abusive mind.

I tried to relax and I gazed at the dim, dark, silent, and o so beautiful outline of the city in the distance. At the inky quiet skyline poised against the restful pre-dawn light to the east. At One Penn Plaza. At the lights of 34th Street. At the great god himself, the Empire State building. I breathed slowly and tried to forget the indignity of my dismal plight.

No one was out. No one came driving by. It was me, the skyline and a striped feral cat who I think was sizing me up as a food source once I died.

Finally, I took hold of the grating of the fence and blocking out the pain in my ribs, I got myself up, slowly glided to the entrance of my apartment house while tightly gripping the iron grates of the fence along the route and struggled in and up.

After "A Christmas Carol" was over on TCM, I decided to go to the Deli across the way ... assuming that the sidewalk would be cleared now and I could easily make it across the street. No such luck. Still ice and now it was raining ice as well. But, I made it, spend $3.70 on what should have cost $3.30, and made my way back.

Much to my surprise, I was greeted by my phone blinking a missed call and message. It seems that my initial fall, while unattended, did not go unwitnessed. Some one called my super's family, and they called the landlady.

She's actually on her way here to make sure I go get x-rays on my ribs. Ugh. Personally, I just rather wrap them and sleep. Instead, I'll be spending much of this Christmas Eve in an urgent care or emergency room waiting room.




Fun, eh??




[***When I was young I heard "Felix" and I assumed that this "Felix" person was married to that "Kitten" woman].