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#274068 - 03/15/08 07:54 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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I'm avoiding going to my step-mom's birthday bash scheduled for tomorrow. My sister is going to be there. She was pretty good to me the last time I saw her. But, she can be a supreme bitch ... and then I'm liable to make pointed, mean sarcastic comments which she may rightly interpret as being derisive of her ... at which time she transforms from a petite, pretty thing acting all nice-nice into a irate, voracious velociraptor who rips the heads off my step-sisters.
Her blue eyes can burn right through you.
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Amo i Gemelli!! 
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#274072 - 03/16/08 08:51 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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Went out to dinner for my step-mom's 60th to a fine Italian restaurant called La Parma in Albertson, LI [in fairness some people call it Williston Park]. While I had never been there, I had only heard good things about it and had passed it countless times on my way to Mineola down Willis Ave. We had to get there a bit early since they don't take reservations and we had a party of 10 to sit. They sit parties of 10-12 in a square which I much prefer to the long rectangle. Part of their reasoning for this seating is due to the fact that it's "family style" with everyone eligible to the large portions, so there is plenty of room for serving plates. For appetizers we got an order of stuffed mushrooms and two orders of some fried breaded item I didn't care for. There was lots of that left over. My sister talked me into the last stuffed mushroom. We also got two house salads ... which in my family is complicated ... onions on the side, tomatoes on the side, dressing on the side. For entrees we got 1 1/2 orders of Penne ala Vodka as the pasta and then 1 order of Chicken Parmigiana [my sister's favorite], 1 order of Eggplant Parmigiana [my step-grandmother can't have meat or seafood], 1 1/2 orders of Seafood Marinara. In addition we got 1 order of the escarole and my younger step-sister made an order of steamed spinach. My sister was not happy with the order since she was convinced that this was too much food for 9 people and an small kid, but the waiter won out. My sister was right. In hindsight, we only needed 1 order each of everything but the salad and would have been better off ordering more later if it had been needed. I had some penne, a small piece of the chicken cutlet and quite a bit of the seafood marinara - mostly squid and octopus with almost no shrimp in the dish. I didn't get any shrimp. The sauce was amazing. I went to town on the escarole - I just love the stuff when it's done right and I love the garlic. I dug out a few toasted cloves. The spinach was bland, but once mixed into the seafood marinara, it was delicious. For dessert, my step-mom got a slice of some kind of chocolate cake which everyone had a piece of. Yes, they did the candle in the cake and sang happy birthday. My younger step-sister had this candied-ice cream dish I never heard of and can't remember. It was a bit too sweet for me. I ordered the italian cheese cake which is made with ricotta cheese as opposed to New York cheese cake which I think is made from cream cheese. In any case, they are very different. My step-mom had something called "Mount Vesuvius" which seemed to be a warm fudge brownie covered in ice cream in the shape of a mountain. My step-sister & her new husband shared her dish with the table. Only they took a taste of my cheese cake which I offered around - it seems the other only like "NY style". The remaining participants devoured the chocolate cake slice and "Mount Vesuvius". My dad hogged whatever he got. No one was getting a taste of that. Tasting other's desserts here seems to be expected as many many forks were provided for such activity. The decaf coffee was awful. The oddest thing my drink. Since I got there before most of our party, I had a bourbon. Their "version" of a straight bourbon was to put 2+ shots in a martini glass with a FUCKING CHERRY in it. I've never heard of anything like that. I found it quite odd.  I had the bourbon and two glasses of red wine over about 2 hours. Since I rarely drink - I don't think I'm suppose to with my meds anyway - I became ever so slightly tipsy.  Even though I ate hours ago, I'm still full. 
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Amo i Gemelli!!
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#274073 - 03/16/08 09:01 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/06
Posts: 6557
Loc: 2004 - the glory days
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monkey, can I get a quick word count on this? thanks.
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"You are the worst poster in xpt yet I can't stop talking about you" - smelly monkey
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#274074 - 03/17/08 04:54 AM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Sounds great. Just one question: How'd y'all split the tab and who actually did the math? I'm guessing the sister who was worried about the excess food, using a small calculator she carries in her purse.
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#274075 - 03/17/08 11:06 AM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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Quote:
Sounds great. Just one question: How'd y'all split the tab and who actually did the math? I'm guessing the sister who was worried about the excess food, using a small calculator she carries in her purse.
Isn't much of an issue in my family. There's never been anything close to a disagreement. Usually the person arranging the dinner pays. In this instance, my Dad paid.
In any case, my sister doesn't have ANY money worries, anyway. She isn't cheap, and can be beyond generous when she's motivated, but it best be her choice to pay.
She's a very successfully Wall Street person. She buys new furniture for her eastside Manhattan condo [with riverview] every 7-8 months. She pays a few hundred a month to park her luxury sportscar in her building she only occassionally uses on the weekends. She won't take the subway or city bus. She will sometimes walk to her job, but usually takes a cab every day to and from her Park office. She never cooks - eats out every day. She loves designer clothes. She has a HUGE designer bag collection. Shoes? Imagine "Carrie" from "Sex & the City" on an unlimited budget. And, she lives to scuba dive.
She's also a BITCH supreme which has left her very unhappy person since none of her relationships work out. She just broke up with an English guy she met from work who - SURPRISE! - turned out to be a psycho. She is very good at choosing psychos.
As for the food: My sister hates food waste, rolls her eyes when my stepmom has the excess wrapped to take home and ABHORS the idea of all of us heavy people taking more than we need just to finish the dishes. My sister is fit and thin. My dad & I are obese, my stepmom is heavy and my stepsisters are on their way. Fat repulses my sister.
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Amo i Gemelli!!
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#274079 - 03/17/08 09:00 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 8160
Loc: Roma, Repubblica Italiana
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#274082 - 04/01/08 02:00 AM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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I've been having crushes on real girls.
I mean girls I see every day. Girls who aren't just net personalities. Girls who aren't naked with other men's cocks in their orifices ... at least not when I see them.
It's actually unnerving.
This afternoon I added a third lovely to my crush list. A brunette to go with a blonde and a redhead. Two I know from therapy. One I used to work with. Each is very different.
The zaftig blonde doesn't like me; doesn't like me one bit. The gentle redhead's eyes appear to lock on me whenever I talk. I have no idea what goes on in the mind of the wild brunette when it comes to me; I never did.
The second thing she says in her IM is that she broke up with her boyfriend. Why does she always seem to reach out to me when this happens?
And, then I surprise myself.
I actually accept an invitation to go for drinks with the brunette on Friday. DRINKS. I console myself with the 50% probability she cancels or changes it. Her life is always in flux. God knows what's she's doing tomorrow let alone the unknown distant murky future that is Friday. And, if something's going to get bumped, I'm sure I'm "on the bubble".
Might my heart, the one I'm sure is long-since dead, be stirring? Please, no. No.
Like an addict, might I begin to draw near the pleasurable thing that I know destroys me? I fear, yes. Yes.
And, my brain runs wild with ruminations. Few that protect me.
I think about how she sometimes would stand too close to me when she was a baby; all of 21. How she would manage to press her firm perfect breast against my triceps to look over what I was reading. How she would find flaw with other co-workers I casually mentioned as attractive. How she would pout about someone writing her a poem when she read those I lovingly composed for others.
And, then there was the time she showed me her photo art with her right boob the primary subject. Like I needed a boner at 8:30 in the morning.
Was there something there?
Is she just wild and overly friendly?
Does she just like to flirt and live for attention?
Maybe she has a deceptive agenda.
Drawing me close only to concentrate on her taxes.
Maybe I'm the deceiver. Deceiving myself.
I am so NOT good at reading this.
Ugh!
Posting Mia & Lexi pics is SO much easier ........
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Amo i Gemelli!!
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#274085 - 04/03/08 11:17 AM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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Edited/Reworked the above "Crush" revelation to be able to read it in "Writing Therapy" today. For example, left out the girls from therapy - one of whom attended, references to "perfect breasts", "boners" and anything else they call "Triggering".
In any case, it was greeted with enthusiasm and received universal raves.
The reason I'm talking about it: The reaction from the zaftig blonde who until I finished reading this had nothing for me but complete disdain. For the first time in the month she's been there, she smiled at me and made direct eye contact. Her eyes are a light sky blue.
She found me to be "such a romantic", brave to reveal such personaal things, and she couldn't get over someone a generation older using the word "Crush". "I really like that!" At this last admission, she lit up and blushed slightly. I held the eye contact and nodded my appreciation.
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Amo i Gemelli!!
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#274087 - 04/13/08 04:49 AM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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Bornyo's inheritance got me thinking about 45s. I was never much of a 45 buyer. I used to buy albums. I think the only 3 I have left are "The Streak", "Kung Fu Fighting" and one with "Allison" & "Watching the Detectives" that came as a bonus with Elvis Costello's "Armed Forces". IIRC, This last one might actually play at 33 but is 45 in size. I actually have more yellow plastic inserts for 45s than 45s.  I have a small 78s. It was made in one of those booths where you could record yourself back before people had tape recorders. My parents made the disc on a date.
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Amo i Gemelli!!
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#274089 - 04/15/08 05:42 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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Quote:
Quote:
Edited/Reworked the above "Crush" revelation to be able to read it in "Writing Therapy" today. For example, left out the girls from therapy - one of whom attended, references to "perfect breasts", "boners" and anything else they call "Triggering".
In any case, it was greeted with enthusiasm and received universal raves.
The reason I'm talking about it: The reaction from the zaftig blonde who until I finished reading this had nothing for me but complete disdain. For the first time in the month she's been there, she smiled at me and made direct eye contact. Her eyes are a light sky blue.
She found me to be "such a romantic", brave to reveal such personaal things, and she couldn't get over someone a generation older using the word "Crush". "I really like that!" At this last admission, she lit up and blushed slightly. I held the eye contact and nodded my appreciation.
You're dangerously close to out-burging Burg.
Burg writes better than I. So, I'll take that as a compliment.
Plus, he writes about having sex with whores.
I write about not having sex with non-whores.
Totally diff.
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Amo i Gemelli!!
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#274091 - 04/16/08 05:59 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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Lake Superior doesn't give up her dead.
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Amo i Gemelli!!
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#274092 - 04/16/08 06:04 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 02/23/05
Posts: 3724
Loc: Paddling my canoe in the wild
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Fatman, please post a picture of your sister when she was young and naughty. I am strangely drawn to petite bitchy Jewesses with blue laser beam eyes.
Besides, I'm convinced that posting pictures of your family would be good for your therapy.
_________________________
You're all still alive?
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#274096 - 04/25/08 01:25 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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From the Best Asses in the Biz thread: Quote:
married whores always baffle me 
I do SO enjoy seeing wedding rings on naked girls!
After I gave up dating, and embarked the dark, cruel period of my Life, I found pleasure in fucking other men's wives and fiancees. I used to seek out women of men I hated, but that wasn't prerequisite. Just being taken was.
I was very cute when I was young, and my love of listening helped my to ease my way into the pants of unhappy betrothed ladies loaded up on alcohol.
I used to love the sight and feel of the ringed hand on my shorty. I get aroused even thinking back on it.
The only thing I liked more than seeing and feeling my dick wrapped by a diamond wearing hand, was my nefarious plan for "seconds".
I didn't dare do this on "firsts" since their was risk that the girl would bolt before I had pleasure. Also, and in retrospect, on "seconds" they seemed resigned to the fact that they had already sinned. But, it was fear of missing out completely that caused me to omit this plan until I had cum on her once.
A few minutes after I had cum, the mess was cleared and we had cuddled, [I'm an odd guy that enjoys an after sex cuddle], I would interupt her smoking or whatever to start my intrigue.
Gently kissing the girl, taking the girls hand, and kissing it. I'd lick her finger. I'd lick the ring. Then I'd pause while catching her eyes.
"You don't want to be wearing this now," said with the company of smiles, winks and soft kisses. And, then gently coaxing the ring(s) representing her promises from her fingers. And, then place them somewhere, usually far from her reach but not out of her sight.
You could sense the chill in the air as they comtemplated their treason. Almost always the breathing would change. Occassionally a tear would fall. I would playfully kiss them and tease them for being oh so silly.
I always preferred doggy for my "seconds" and did this with lots of spanking and clit rubs. I often fantasied that their men were forced to watch and didn't want them to see that in my face.
I was always better for them this second time. And, I think the more I hated, the better I was.
God I miss that.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!!
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#274097 - 04/26/08 12:21 AM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
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Quote:
A few minutes after I had cum, the mess was cleared and we had cuddled, [I'm an odd guy that enjoys an after sex cuddle], I would interupt her smoking or whatever to start my intrigue.
Gently kissing the girl, taking the girls hand, and kissing it. I'd lick her finger. I'd lick the ring. Then I'd pause while catching her eyes.
"You don't want to be wearing this now," said with the company of smiles, winks and soft kisses. And, then gently coaxing the ring(s) representing her promises from her fingers. And, then place them somewhere, usually far from her reach but not out of her sight.
You could sense the chill in the air as they comtemplated their treason. Almost always the breathing would change. Occassionally a tear would fall. I would playfully kiss them and tease them for being oh so silly.
I always preferred doggy for my "seconds" and did this with lots of spanking and clit rubs. I often fantasied that their men were forced to watch and didn't want them to see that in my face.
I was always better for them this second time. And, I think the more I hated, the better I was.
God I miss that.
If you haven't already read this. Jhumpa Lahiri is stroke material for days.
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.
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#274098 - 04/28/08 05:26 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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Every April 28th I think about the girl I loved more than I've ever loved anything. April 28th is her birthday.
She was an athletic golden blonde cutie, brilliant, well read, possessed a biting sense of humor, and wore a FANTASTIC smile. She was a teenage karate champion, a NJ high school homecoming queen, and was everything to me.
The porn star who reminds me of her most is oddly Courtney Simpson - but Caroline was far far prettier. And, what would have delighted Caroline who found her own ample B cups small, far bustier.
Their bodies are actually nothing alike. And, while Courtney's hair, voice, face shape are slightly reminiscent of my lost goddess, the eyes I saw in "Grace's" 1st Amateur Allure scene made me a Courtney fan. They shined exactly the same as my lost love's. But, Caroline would have died before sucking cock.
I bore you now with part of a poem I wrote to Caroline on her birthday long long long long past. It spelled out a message to her along the margin, part of which you might detect ...
How I love you.
And, adore you.
Praise your ways.
Pray for your health,
Your happiness.
Because you are
Invaluable to me,
Rest assured
That I can
Have nothing but
Deep love for you,
And everything
You are.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!!
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#274099 - 05/10/08 10:30 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
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Fatman; I recommend this website for you.
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.
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#274101 - 05/25/08 06:20 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 04/12/08
Posts: 559
Loc: Give 'em rope
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An obese man and his war against public transportation. You are a modern day Don quixote
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Sandblasted faces, no mouths to scream. Needless object always scratching. This breach in heaven irised shut. It scorns the land without even ghosts
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#274102 - 05/25/08 08:00 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/26/03
Posts: 8160
Loc: Roma, Repubblica Italiana
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Quote:
Every April 28th I think about the girl I loved more than I've ever loved anything. April 28th is her birthday.
She was an athletic golden blonde cutie, brilliant, well read, possessed a biting sense of humor, and wore a FANTASTIC smile. She was a teenage karate champion, a NJ high school homecoming queen, and was everything to me.
The porn star who reminds me of her most is oddly Courtney Simpson - but Caroline was far far prettier. And, what would have delighted Caroline who found her own ample B cups small, far bustier.
Their bodies are actually nothing alike. And, while Courtney's hair, voice, face shape are slightly reminiscent of my lost goddess, the eyes I saw in "Grace's" 1st Amateur Allure scene made me a Courtney fan. They shined exactly the same as my lost love's. But, Caroline would have died before sucking cock.
I bore you now with part of a poem I wrote to Caroline on her birthday long long long long past. It spelled out a message to her along the margin, part of which you might detect ...
How I love you.
And, adore you.
Praise your ways.
Pray for your health,
Your happiness.
Because you are
Invaluable to me,
Rest assured
That I can
Have nothing but
Deep love for you,
And everything
You are.
Did she do anal?
_________________________
 "All my years in p*rn didn't quite prepare me for childbirth. I mistakenly thought all the stretching I did would make this easier."
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#274103 - 05/26/08 09:51 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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Quote:
Quote:
Every April 28th I think about the girl I loved more than I've ever loved anything. April 28th is her birthday.
She was an athletic golden blonde cutie, brilliant, well read, possessed a biting sense of humor, and wore a FANTASTIC smile. She was a teenage karate champion, a NJ high school homecoming queen, and was everything to me.
The porn star who reminds me of her most is oddly Courtney Simpson - but Caroline was far far prettier. And, what would have delighted Caroline who found her own ample B cups small, far bustier.
Their bodies are actually nothing alike. And, while Courtney's hair, voice, face shape are slightly reminiscent of my lost goddess, the eyes I saw in "Grace's" 1st Amateur Allure scene made me a Courtney fan. They shined exactly the same as my lost love's. But, Caroline would have died before sucking cock.
I bore you now with part of a poem I wrote to Caroline on her birthday long long long long past. It spelled out a message to her along the margin, part of which you might detect ...
How I love you.
And, adore you.
Praise your ways.
Pray for your health,
Your happiness.
Because you are
Invaluable to me,
Rest assured
That I can
Have nothing but
Deep love for you,
And everything
You are.
Did she do anal?
No, Zen. I do wish she gave head, though. But, alas ...
I did get her to taste her best friend, though. Although I kind of tricked her into it.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!!
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#274105 - 05/27/08 06:58 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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Started a new group therapy today. Nothing of interest to look at or fantasize about.
Can't say that the ladies have it any better. Two of the three other guys are gay. One guy is HIV+ and the other two guys in the group are fatter than I. One is quite annoying.
He was a tad perturbed that I could not muster sympathy for his 14 month incarceration in a South American prison for drug trafficking.
It seems he was not treated well there. I said I thought he just paid for bad choices [I was being as nice as I could be].
I related that one of the many reasons I've never trafficked in illegal narcotics in South America. or elsewhere, is that I really don't think I would deal well with prison or any kind.
I think I may be the only one in the group who isn't a former addict. I don't know if that is going to matter. While I can appreciate that fighting an addiction can be difficult, I don't really understand drug use.
We will see ...
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Amo i Gemelli!!
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#274106 - 06/05/08 03:56 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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Forty years ago today I was heading out to the corner for the school bus with my little brother. I remember us skipping on the slates of the walk to the driveway. There was no lawn.
We had just moved into our new home in January. The area had been potato farms. Grass had just been seeded that spring and little had grown so far. Mud reigned supreme.
There were few kids at the bus stop. Usually we were loud and laughing. Today there was little talking. One of the older kids, a 5th or 6th grader finally got around to what we were avoiding.
He talked about RFK getting shot.
I said nothing. I just thought about my mom crying in the den watching the Today Show. My grandmother had been silent during breakfast. She quietly filled my red plastic lunch box while looking under the cabinets to catch a glimpse of the TV. Grandma was in such a state she didn't even try to get me to wear a sweater in the heat.
We stood there for quite some time. No one seemed to notice that the bus was oddly late.
Mrs. P called for Jeff. Suddenly both my mother popped out our front door. Both were yelling something.
School was cancelled.
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Amo i Gemelli!!
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#274107 - 06/07/08 12:59 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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So few porns stars share by birthday. And, None remotely interesting.
In the "pop" world there's Dean Martin & Prince both of whose music I've enjoyed from time to time.
My childhood baseball idol, Thurman Munson, shares my birthday.
In faux athletics there's Anna Kournikova [who liked to call Kockasucka, for fantasy reasons].
And, an actress I lusted after, Gia Carides ... though I doubt many here even know who she is.
Oh! And, Hitler's Dad.
[AsDarthVader]Tatty, I am your father.[/AsDarthVader]
If I had been born just minutes early, I could have been the anti-Christ.
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Amo i Gemelli!!
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#274108 - 06/07/08 01:05 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
So few porns stars share by birthday. And, None remotely interesting.
And most of them seem to have frequented BGOL with Sammurra.
Happy Birthday, Fatty. L'Chaim.
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#274109 - 06/07/08 02:46 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 4856
Loc: The 4th International
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Have a good one, Fatman. Many healthy returns! Gesundheit!
_________________________
The only thing you got that I want, is your suffering.
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#274110 - 06/07/08 02:57 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 05/18/06
Posts: 3555
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Happy Birthday!
_________________________
"I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend deep frying the fuck out of anything that gets in my way."
--Handful
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#274111 - 06/07/08 04:29 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 09/19/05
Posts: 3576
Loc: Baltimore, MD
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Happy birthday, Fatman, and many happy returns of the day.
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#274114 - 06/15/08 08:27 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
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Quote:
Quote:
In the "pop" world there's Dean Martin & Prince both of whose music I've enjoyed from time to time.
My childhood baseball idol, Thurman Munson, shares my birthday.
Fact: Before I moved into my two room hovel on Middlebranch I used to drive by Thurman Munson Memorial Stadium in Canton on a daily basis. I believe he died in a plane wreck or a train wreck. I of course do not follow.
Additional Fact: I like Prince's music and have masturbated while watching 'Purple Rain' in my younger years many times.
Brother, you are missed.
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#274116 - 06/24/08 08:04 PM
Re: Fatman Status Thread
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On his annual trip to Florida, I believe.
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If anything they're this 
way to go, fatman 
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