8 TIPS TO HELP YOU WALTZ THROUGH PERGATORY!
Wednesday May 5, 2004
Have you done some bad things, but not bad enough to get you sent to Hell when you die? If so, some believe you'll have to serve time in Purgatory paying for your sins before being allowed into Heaven.
But don't worry, you can make your period of torment and hard labor in the steaming hot netherworld as painless as possible, by following some tips from a leading theologian.
"Purgatory is inherently unpleasant, but it doesn't have to be a nightmare," says Atlanta-based Bible scholar Dr. Jared Ruftan, author of the upcoming book, So You're Going to Purgatory. "How bad it is and how long you spend there depends a lot on you."
Here, from the expert, are eight tips for surviving the toughest "rehabilitation facility" in all creation:
DON'T WHINE -- Stop saying "Why me?" Remember, things could be a lot worse. Millions of people every year are damned to the fires of Hell. You've been given a second chance.
DON'T BEAT UP ON YOURSELF -- It's a little late for guilt and self-blame. Acknowledge the sins that landed you in Purgatory, ask for the Lord's forgiveness and move on.
DON'T MOUTH OFF -- Snapping at the fallen angels who guard Purgatory isn't going to get you out any faster. The less trouble you make for them, the less trouble they'll make for you.
SHOW IMPROVEMENT -- Every time you erase a sinful behavior pattern, your "release date" moves up. For example, if you were a big boaster in life, demonstrate your new humility by loudly telling another captive soul, "It's a pity you're here. You certainly weren't as bad as I was."
DON'T WASTE TIME FLIRTING-- Purgatory is not a singles bar. In an emotionally charged situation, it's easy to become attached to a person of the opposite sex. But getting entangled in a romance is just going to distract you from your main goal -- getting out as soon as possible.
BUDDY UP WITH A GOOD SPIRIT -- If you hang around a whiner or troublemaker, he'll hold you back. Find a soul with a positive mind-set and develop a strong mutual-support system.
DON'T BE A CLOCK-WATCHER -- Remember, in the afterworld Earth time really does not matter. If you start counting your years and centuries in Purgatory, you'll go nuts.
PRAY OFTEN -- God hears all prayers, even those offered from the bowels of Purgatory. When He decides that you have genuinely repented your sins and overcome your weaknesses, He will free your soul and you will be able to join your departed loved ones in Paradise.
"The more you ignore time, the more quickly it will pass," notes Dr. Ruftan.
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