just dropped off my littlest one for his first day of preschool. i don't know if i should laugh, cry or hump something.

Join paltalk and ruin your marriage like all the other soccer moms.

i understand meth is a good time killer

so is your mom!

Hit a Starbucks and shop.

Gigi, if you're alone, then it's the perfect time to insert large, household items into your ass. Preferably ones owned by your husband.

oh my, he did SO well... didn't shed a tear. we celebrated by going to "burger ring" after. that was the first time==literally== that we have had zero kids on the premises since june, 2006. i think i'm going to like this.

You're not sending him to Kerkove Preschool are you?

uh, no re the kerkovian preschool.

i was such an awesome kid in preschool aside from being able to read way too early and bringing books about volcanos and sharks into class to terrify the other kids with.

i hated naptime and every month or so, i'd devise ways to sneak past any teacher who wasn't paying rapt attention to the supposedly sleeping kids or left the room for a minute for the bathroom or teacher's lounge.

by the end of nursery school my record was making it a mile away from school before the cops brought me back one of probably 6 times. the other times the nursery school would realize i was AWOL after nap and they'd lock the building down and the teachers would freak.

the other kids would invariably end up crying at the panicked teachers talking in grownup-voices to each other and organizing search parties. teachers are fragile and incompetent in crisis and very easy to fool. once i hid in the toy bin for an entire afternoon because indoor recess sucked.

oh, and for a 4-5 year old i had an arm like elway and could lob balls probably 2x as far and fast as any of the other kids. i singlehandedly forced the preschool to replace all of their inflatable balls with nerf ones after i just fucking killed some kid in dodgeball, knocking him to the ground which he bounced off of into an unconscious heap and he had to have stitches in his scalp.

jamesn?

pre-school dodgeball? now that would be funny...they should televise that.

I used to take the other kids cookies and crush them under my wheels by popping a wheelie then bringing the front wheels down on their Chips Ahoy, some would laugh and then hand me THEIR cookies to do the same, others would look at me with fear, one or two cried. They should be thanking me, even at age 5 in 1973 I knew the harm of processed sugar and all the shit in those things...and at least once a month, I would get my entire room to NOT drink their milk by re-enacting the Little Rascals skit "Dont Drink the Milk!" "Why Not??" "Cuz its SPOILED!!!" Because of my brittle bones the teachers were not allowed to discipline me, not even Yell at me lest the soundwaves snap a tibia or something (complete bullshit but they didnt know the difference and like James, at age 5 I understood physics and watched Star Trek instead of cartoons...except Josie and The Pussycats...)

I wrecked my parent's car when I was four years old. Yes, I was trying to drive it at the time. I tried to run away from home when I was three. Piece of advice do not try to run away from home before you have learned to tie your shoes. My parents found me on a hill with about 150 cactus stickers in my feet.

So how's it been after the first week?

fuckin' sweet.

Who came by the house first, the mailman or the kid from Geek Squad.

Okay, one week in, just how wide have you stretched your asshole, Gigi? I'm guessing it's now the same width as the average cell phone on vibrate.

Let me get this straight. You're a porn loving mom who prefers it in the ass, bakes mean cookies and gets off on chores?

Have you considered hiring yourself out as a naked cleaner?