It's nice to see that Steve is finally leaving porn, please don't let the door hit your strapon-loving ass on the way out.

I have to confess, I do hope Lackwood stays in Spain, hopefully assaulted by the local Russian drug mafia and ETA freedom fighters, so I want to teach you some expressions you might find useful while in Spain, the hopeful result being you never return to the U.S..

English: My name is Kurt Lockwood and I have herpes.
Spanish: Me llamo Kurt Lockwood y yo tengo herpes.

English: Can I have some coffee and a strapon up my ass?
Spanish: ¿Con permiso comprar ún café, y ún consolador por mi ano?

English: I am the biggest douchebag ever.
Spanish: Yo soy el bolso de douche grandissimo en toda la história.

English: I cleaned floors for DeeDee Ramone.
Spanish: Limpiaba el piso para la mujer llama DeeDee Rambone.

I encourage you all to help Lackwood out with his language skills, he's going to be in Europe, so French, German, Dutch, Italian, Greek (har), anything will help.

Bon Voyage, loser.

I'M GONNA DROP SOME HAIKU SKILL ON YOUR OBESE JEALOUS HATER ASSES!

I am searching for
Trannies to push my poop in
I heard Spain has them

PRETTY FUCKING SWEET MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I RULE!
ADIOS BITCHES!

He may travel to the north of Europe and find himself in Sweden - who knows?

English: My name is Kurt Lockwood and I have herpes.
Swedish: Jag heter Kurt Lockwood och jag har herpes.

English: Can I have some coffee and a strapon up my ass?
Swedish: Kan jag be att få lite kaffe och en strapon i röven?

English: I am the biggest douchebag ever.
Swedish: Jag är den största skitstöveln någonsin.

English: I cleaned floors for DeeDee Ramone.
Swedish: Jag städade golv åt DeeDee Ramone.

If we took up enough of a collection do you think he would run with the bulls in Pamplona with that strap on? I'd settle for him being the guest of honor at that tomato food fight they have over there every year.

I think he should try these while in Spain, or anywhere else in Europe for that matter...

"What is the cost for this surfboard?"
-Aribba el presidente de los Estados Unidos!

"Have you ever heard The Ramones?"
-Dos pugars para el guerro in Iraqo!

"Hey, my name is Kurt Lockwood!"
-Me encanta George duble-vu Busho!