Six Pharmaceutical companies are bidding for my Hangover right now...I ran out of all the good drugs last week.

Fucking A, that cartoon is both hillarious and disturbing...I am, um....forty now, that's almost dead. Yesterday for the labor day picnic at a hungover Uncle Burglar's, I was letting little nieces and nephews and their little friends play around with my wheel chair(s) ala demolition derby while I lay on a hammock with 6 ice bags on my head, then when they got frantic and wanted me to come play, I had to play "Bean the Cripple" where by I race up and down my considerably long drive way while 12 kids armed with tennis balls chuck them at me like a fucking carnival game. I am such a fucking cool uncle....

As for the birthday debaucheries, you'll have to visit Hartford and do your own asking around...just mention to any stripper you run into "Birthday Boy, nice wheelchair, shaved head, cute in that beat up teddy bear kinda way, pockets stuffed with bills, flammable breath, with two goons named "Lou & Jamal" wheeling him around...what happened??"

Then post what you learn because I have no fucking clue....Jamal and Lou just shake their heads and walk away everytime I ask "Wha' appen'd mate?"