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#270964 - 08/30/07 08:27 PM
My Cat Is Queer
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Human Garbage
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 1681
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So I went out on the porch after dinner to enjoy a smoke and a jazz cigarette. Cracked open an MGD, took a couple of sips and deep breaths and then I saw it.
My cat was fucking the shit out of his brother under the shade of my japanese maple tree. I mean really giving it to him. Balls deep and everything.
I tried a broom and a couple of friendly kicks but nothing would break up their feline faggotry. In a final effort of disgust I poured my beer on them and went inside to reflect on what I had just seen.
Nine beers later I have come to accept that my cat is a fucking queer.
What is the preferred method of dealing with incestuous animal homosexualism, short of a sack in the lake?
_________________________
There's not a woman alive who has not wanted to be treated like a whore. It's in their genes.
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#270965 - 08/30/07 08:36 PM
Re: My Cat Is Queer
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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this is a wonderful post. Quote:
So I went out on the porch after dinner to enjoy a smoke and a jazz cigarette. Cracked open an MGD, took a couple of sips and deep breaths and then I saw it.
My cat was fucking the shit out of his brother under the shade of my japanese maple tree. I mean really giving it to him. Balls deep and everything.
I tried a broom and a couple of friendly kicks but nothing would break up their feline faggotry. In a final effort of disgust I poured my beer on them and went inside to reflect on what I had just seen.
Nine beers later I have come to accept that my cat is a fucking queer.
What is the preferred method of dealing with incestuous animal homosexualism, short of a sack in the lake?
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#270966 - 08/30/07 08:40 PM
Re: My Cat Is Queer
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/06
Posts: 6557
Loc: 2004 - the glory days
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I was so hoping that the end of the post was going to be "a sack of oranges" instead of "a sack in the lake".
_________________________
"You are the worst poster in xpt yet I can't stop talking about you" - smelly monkey
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#270967 - 08/30/07 09:11 PM
Re: My Cat Is Queer
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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[BobBarker]Have your pets spayed or neutered[/BobBarker]
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#270970 - 08/30/07 10:50 PM
Re: My Cat Is Queer
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 04/03/07
Posts: 786
Loc: on the dark side of the moon
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First-ever museum display shows 51 species exhibiting homosexuality Scientists say that homosexual activity among giraffes is, in many cases, more common than heterosexual activity. From male killer whales that ride the dorsal fin of another male to female bonobos that rub their genitals together, the animal kingdom tolerates all kinds of lifestyles. A first-ever museum display, "Against Nature?," which opened last month at the University of Oslo's Natural History Museum in Norway, presents 51 species of animals exhibiting homosexuality. "Homosexuality has been observed in more than 1,500 species, and the phenomenon has been well described for 500 of them," said Petter Bockman, project coordinator of the exhibition. Full article at msnbc Also on BBC: Oslo gay animal show draws crowds On nbc: "A Lutheran priest said he hoped the organizers would "burn in hell," and a Pentecostal priest lashed out at the exhibition, saying taxpayers' money used for it would have been better spent helping the animals correct "their perversions and deviances"."
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#270971 - 08/30/07 11:30 PM
Re: My Cat Is Queer
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Quote:
a Pentecostal priest lashed out at the exhibition, saying taxpayers' money used for it would have been better spent helping the animals correct "their perversions and deviances."
Hmmmmm... Isn't Desmond Ford a Pentecotal Priest? Must be where Luke gets it.
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#270972 - 08/31/07 01:52 AM
Re: My Cat Is Queer
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Handful, by any chance does your cat look like this?
Might explain things.
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#270974 - 08/31/07 01:40 PM
Re: My Cat Is Queer
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Human Garbage
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 1681
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Problem solved. I took the 'top' cat (whom I renamed Nacho) for a long drive to the countryside today and kicked him out at the end of the line. As for the 'bottom' brother (who's now named Kurt), well he'll just have to live with what he allowed his brother to do to him. Poor gay bastard.
_________________________
There's not a woman alive who has not wanted to be treated like a whore. It's in their genes.
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#270975 - 08/31/07 02:04 PM
Re: My Cat Is Queer
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 05/18/06
Posts: 3555
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i have a cat named jules. he's kitten-sized, even though he is an adult cat. he also has weirdly crooked teeth, which made the name all the more appropriate. 
_________________________
"I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend deep frying the fuck out of anything that gets in my way."
--Handful
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#270977 - 08/31/07 03:24 PM
Re: My Cat Is Queer
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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My dog's got no nose.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#270978 - 08/31/07 03:27 PM
Re: My Cat Is Queer
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Now that's the definition of useless.
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#270979 - 08/31/07 04:42 PM
Re: My Cat Is Queer
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
My dog's got no nose.
[takingthebait]Really? How does he smell?[/takingthebait] 
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#270980 - 08/31/07 05:50 PM
Re: My Cat Is Queer
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 05/18/06
Posts: 3555
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jules just took a fucking shit in my fucking living room. i'm not fucking kidding.
_________________________
"I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend deep frying the fuck out of anything that gets in my way."
--Handful
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#270981 - 08/31/07 07:07 PM
Re: My Cat Is Queer
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 04/03/07
Posts: 786
Loc: on the dark side of the moon
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Quote:
Problem solved. I took the 'top' cat (whom I renamed Nacho) for a long drive to the countryside today and kicked him out at the end of the line. As for the 'bottom' brother (who's now named Kurt), well he'll just have to live with what he allowed his brother to do to him. Poor gay bastard.
The friendly hand that had petted and fed it since it had been a little kitten all of a sudden pushed it away. The car drove off and soon disappeared behind the horizon. The cat waited for a while; maybe he was going to come back? Then, following its instincts it started strolling into a direction that seemed to lead back home. Later at night it turned out that this was not meant to be its lucky day. The blinding light and the sudden noise seemed to have come out of nowhere, it couldn't tell which direction, it froze, it ran, and then it was over.
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#270982 - 08/31/07 11:15 PM
Re: My Cat Is Queer
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/07/06
Posts: 4268
Loc: Portland
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Homosexual cats should be re-adopted, and re-named...
Kurt.
Then, they should be scoured of a multitude of herpes, castrated, then let loose on the streets of every city to confuse legitimate cats (be them gay or straight) to parley their "chutzpah" on eunuch-cats.
All the horny cats fuck the Lockwood cats...and...nothingness ensues!!
Other than Belladonna-Lockwood Simplex II...
The sores will overtake the kitties, and normal citizens will observe shambling creatures in the alley ways of hellish cities (e.g. Houston, Orlando, etc.) and the "
Bible Belt" will become "Ground Zero" of the Belladonna-Lockwood Simplex II incursion!!!
Oh! The Humanity! Avert your Eyes!!!
_________________________
"My people (the real Americans- descended from the original Angle-Saxon pioneers)"-Coke S.
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#270984 - 09/02/07 10:35 AM
Re: My Cat Is Queer
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Handful, I think this book will solve any problems you may have with the other cat. LINK
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booger: patiently waiting for the mugshot posts, which I anticipate being quality material
TFerguson: Where does he find the mugshots and stories that go with them?
Max Rhino: I google the name and "arrest" and the city if possible
Max Rhino: mugshots.com used to have a ton of mugshots, not so much anymore
Max Rhino: Lots of ways, including news stories and inmate penpal websites
booger: sorry, i see now that it is
booger: Excellent additions to the Honor Roll
Max Rhino: Mugshot Mania today! 7 new ladies!
Max Rhino: In celebration of the new year, 7 new mugshots! Happy Ney Year to you all!
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