For my 1000th post I'm going to make some observations and drop some pointless bullshit. Here goes:

Stop posting articles relating to the justice department prosecuting some nobody on porn-related charges. We get it, the current administration has a hard-on for throwing the book at pornographers. There are maybe four people here who should actually care about that. Relax, your porn isn't going anywhere.

This :bananawhateverthefuck: shit has to stop. I did it once and I'm still ashamed. It was cute for five minutes eight months ago.

The breakfast thread. Really? Another food thread? Fags.

This board would probably implode like a dying star if King stopped posting.

I hear Holly's replaced alcohol with heroin.

Burg isn't forced to see hookers because he's in a wheelchair -- it's because of his personality.

I think Conky might be Jerome Tanner.

Tritone should be permanently banned if he makes one more race-baiting post.

Why does Ceara look like a completely different person in certain pics?

As you're reading this, Luke is crying in the fetal position.

As you're reading this, Kurt is sweating bullets at AIM.

I've actually hung out with Jenna Jameson several times. (back when she still looked human)

People spend their free time in many ways. Some build model airplanes, some exercise, some go to the movies. Dino Velvet peruses the websites of shady porn agents. To each his own.

Ivor Biggun needs to post more.

Darth is a winner. Seriously. Because all of you keep responding to his posts, he's winning.

Jules Jordan is not a talented filmmaker. That he's considered such is a true reflection of how untalented other directors in porn are.

Belladonna has herpes. Crazy. And in other news, it's finally been determined that Danny Devito is in fact short.

Recently I read a post that mentioned Shayla Laveaux. My God, she was amazingly hot. Could you imagine if the current crop of whores looked that fine? Just the thought almost brings a tear to my eye.

I've been a whore. I used to sport-fuck a chick I really didn't care for because she worked at Nordstrom and she let me use her employee discount.

Soops still has the best avatar.

Malice nailed Gen Padova then Gia Jordan. Most people will spend their entire lives trying to take such a huge step up. Good for him.

I see Elab's been made mod of AWOP. Thank God. I can't be the only one who thought there simply weren't enough links to youtube here. I'm so happy that's been taken care of.

Okay, that's it for now. Fuck all of you.

Wow, that was......random. No seriously, good stuff.

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Burg isn't forced to see hookers because he's in a wheelchair -- it's because of his personality.

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You're just jealous that he hasn't offered to make you lamb chops and pay you to stop stripping.

:bananahilarious:

Is it okay if I rate this thread 5 stars?

You are wise beyond your post count.

There are times when I love this place. This is one of them.

Happy 1000th, and many more.

"sport-fuck" i like that. congrats on 1000 and i'll cut back on the :bananawhatever: shit.

great post.

I almost got misty eyed! Last year I even stayed home from Vegas just because the crop had gotten so lame, but now, even as we look bact to look forward, there is hope.

I miss Ashley nee Small in her younger days, forcing her whole hand down her throat and being a wounded tough guy. And Genesis, Gen, Sierra, Melissa, et al? Where's 'Bish, Smelly, PAFH, Applesaucer and the Train Wreck thread?
And finally, how is it the Kitty manages to look like a 12 year old, washed up whore?

Awesome, amazing post.....


Classic example(s) of the Online Thread Checkmate, ultimate buzzkiller, or the poker equivalent of drawing dead, and random achieved it many times over.

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Burg isn't forced to see hookers because he's in a wheelchair -- it's because of his personality.

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Killshot, dead center. I cant reply in protest, because it only makes the wound more bloody and apparent. What am I going to tell him, "No, you are wrong, you dont really know me or my situation or whats in my heart or what I have been through?" Gay, sad, pointless, who cares, impotent, whimpy. Or how about, "Hahaha good one. You got me. You are right, and as of Right now I am going to give up Strippers and Hookers and focus all my energy into winning Holly's hand, or some other wholesome girl that will COOK ME Lamb Chops and oil my wheels etc etc etc...." Disingenuous x 100

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Malice nailed Gen Padova then Gia Jordan. Most people will spend their entire lives trying to take such a huge step up. Good for him.

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Even though a thousand and one openings, snappy mean spirited sarcastic zingers and attack angles appear with this statement, same deal. I want to start saying " Step UP?? You are kidding right?" but it is pyhrric no matter what you say....


This post's magnitude of greatness, like Dimmagio's 56 game hitting streak, will only grow over time.

All I can do now is pick up my spokes and make an appointment with a 10,000 dollar a night call girl from NYC and ask her to spend the evening rating my sensitivity, charm, listening skills and sense of humor instead of fucking her in the ass.

Lol. A one sentence softball jab drew all that. There are so many uncertainties in life, but I take comfort in knowing I can always count on you being you.

Lost me after the second quote though. I meant no insult toward Gia. She knows (or should) that I think she's gorgeous and awesome. I was just typing the first shit that popped into my head. Why that particular subject popped in, I have no idea. Perhaps I was recalling when you threw a tantrum and outed all their personal laundry to Luke.

Yeah, that was probably it.

Personally, I'm kind of surprised you've only just reached 1000...it seems you've been around longer than that? Anyway, congratulations all the same!

I can't believe you just called me a faggy name like Jerome. That stings.

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I can't believe you just called me a faggy name like Jerome. That stings.

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I'd aplogize but Darth's the one who told me, so it must be true.

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I conceded everything to you and even acknowledged your post's greatness, but dont bemoan my reply's length, it was NOT that long

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I read it as sarcasm. And the length shot was me just being lazy. It's taken me almost three years to make 1000 posts, what else would you expect?

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but let's be honest for once sir, what you said about me in your first post regarding my reasons for ordering take out pussy, including the post's tone, context and subject, was NOT a "softball JAB" as you claim.

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I maintain it was a softball jab. And I disagree about the tone of my initial post. Most was said jokingly, or, at the very least, it wasn't meant to be hurtful. Example: I really don't have a problem with Elab being made mod. I know I won't care for most of his posts (read: youtube links), but, hey, that's just me. And besides, anyone's better than Moxie. Oh, and the Jenna thing is completely true. Sadly.

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You dont know me and you have no idea, and you have had a minor hardon for me for a long while

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You say this frequently and I've never understood it. Are you actually saying that Burg in no way resembles Real World Rick? That you just manufacture the Burg personality, his thoughts, his opinions, out of thin air while logging in? I ain't buying it. The Gia/Malice fiasco was Burg, not Rick, correct?

Since I don't feel like writing a dissertation on why "Burg" is most definitely a very real and permanent fixture of Rick's personality, and why I think getting to know you in person would be very similar to the experience of having gotten to know you here, I'll just leave it at that.

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If i bother you that much, at least be thankful I am not rob longshot or Kyoto

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They never bothered me that much. Kyoto just kind melted down after a good run and Longshot was pure, unintentional comedy.

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Of course, you dont mention the proficiency of Padover in throwing gas on the lit cigarette I dropped and how she gleefully shared what should have stayed between us .....

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You really didn't expect Padova to be Padova?

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But my meager sentiments of friendship (and interest in Gia's ability as a decorator/professional shopper) are dwarfed by your feelings that she is "AWESOME and Gorgeous", so once again, let me clear out of your way .... just make sure you dont tell Padover how you feel about Gia. oops....

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I was wrong about my softball jab. This is a softball jab.

I think very highly of Gia, it's no secret. I don't mention her in every post I make, or stalk her through PMs, but that's just because I'm super classy.

I'm in LA about ten days out of every month. I even rent a home in the Sunset Plaza area, which is relatively close to where Gia lives. Unfortunately, I keep my anonymity because I have to. The option doesn't even exist for me to open myself up publicly, and I'm okay with that. But if I were to, sure, I'd want to meet up with Gia for lunch or something. Why would I not? I don't believe I've ever taken a shot at you for your fascination with Holly or others in the porn world, just over how poorly you've handled it and how idiotitc you've looked in the process.

To wrap up, I don't hate you Burg. I don't hate anyone here. You were dealt a bad hand, and think the issues I have with you (or that I think you have) stem from you dealing with that, which, admittedly, is something I don't take into consideration before making a post about you. Maybe I should.

As usual, the epilogue doesn't clear anything up and dilutes the strength of the original work.

At this point we need a deck of cards, a bottle of whiskey and ranathan dealing 5 card stud.

lock this thread before it gets lame. posts like this one are the reason i joined this board. by the way