We both know if you'd succeeded, I'd be replying to an empty post.

[Thanks to Bill Hicks for letting me adapt that]

why the name of KOALA stevie? that name sounds like a australian fag production or something

You forgot to stress how this was inside information.

Quote:

---

You are very stupid and naive. It is the genital herpies, not the HSV1 which almost everyone has. Think about it... Most porn is condomless. Herpes can be spread even with condoms. People sleeping with dozens of sex partners will eventually get it... especially when all those sex partners also have it. Since it is a porn whore's bread and butter to sell her body parts, she will often work even with an infection. We know as a fact most guys work during an outbreak. However, there doesn't have to be a visible outbreak to be shedding skin cells containing the virus. So yes jackass, 99% of porn people have fucking herpes and the ones that don't just haven't been in the business long enough. Everyone in porn just assumes everyone else has it, so there isn't a lot of remorse about working with an outbreak apparently. How many directors have the ethics to shut down a porn shoot because the male or female talent has a problem. Girls work with raging staph infections and Christian eats their rotten vaginas. That is how it works.

---

Yes, I'm very well aware of what happens in the porn world.

I should have been more clear about those numbers; yeah, that 99% number might include people with only HSV-1, only HSV-2 or both. I've heard that number before and one "event" in question where a whole shit load of people were tested and supposedly only two came back clean, but there was never any stated difference between the two, just "herpes." So that's where my doubt came from.

I figured I had it by now (genital herpes) from fucking around with a number of porn girls (a month into hanging around the business numerous porners told me "yeah, you'll likely get it pretty soon"), let alone all the whorish things I've done in my private life where AIM testing *wasn't* a prerequisite to fuck.

But you know what? I got fully tested two months ago (paying the $300 for the first time to get that AIM test) and it came back totally clean for everything. Really surprised the fuck out of me as I just assumed I'd picked it up over the years from fifty different sources (most of those without condoms).

Who knows, supposedly men are less susceptible to it from a physical standpoint, or it could be incubating in my asshole right now.

Ahh Fuck..! Thats ignnorant,, somebody allready spray painted her car...

More bad news:

WASHINGTON (Reuters) -- Men should be vaccinated against a sexually transmitted wart virus to protect them against a type of mouth and throat cancer, U.S. researchers said Monday.

They said the rate of oropharyngeal cancers -- mostly cancers of the tonsil and base of tongue -- appears to be rising in certain populations and the human papilloma virus or HPV transmitted by oral sex is likely to blame.

New vaccines that target HPV may help turn the trend around, the researchers reported in this week's issue of the journal Cancer. The vaccines are recommended for young women in Europe and the United States.

There are several strains of HPV, which cause ordinary warts but also genital warts. These in turn can cause cancer in some cases. The researchers looked at various studies and concluded that HPV 16 was especially likely to be linked with certain cancers of the tonsil and base of tongue.

full story

BellaDonna’s dilemma isn’t the fear of contracting
STD’s but the fear of passing them on to OTHERS? I think she has convinced herself that this is her “reason”. I say she is dancing around the REAL issue. She has known she has had Herpes for a while. She must have been ok with having Herpes and she must have been ok with passing it on or contracting something else on that level. I arrive at this conclusion because she has worked for years after contracting the disease. Not only that she was worked for a Company who has been the Primary company of no less than 4 people who are known to have Contracted AIDS. Further more after seeing her fantasy fuck was clean.
(”I got the test results back from Aim Healthcare and his test was negative for everything”)
She proceeded with her fantasy knowing she was putting him at risk. (”Well, I went to meet up with him and we shared some of the most incredible sex I’ve ever had. We began to talk about how responsible we felt for doing it this way and that people should do it like this more often. Get tested, get permission and totally enjoy yourselves.”)
I think incident of her own making has opened her eyes to the Elephant in the room. The inevitable NEXT outbreak of Aids in the Porn Industry.

With the advent of Fagboys who have turned themselves into Porn Studs it’s just a matter of time before it happens again.

Kurt Lockwood and Christian are only the most obvious potential “patient Zero’s.

For years after the knowledge of the World Aids Pandemic came to light in the Eighties any semblance of a Porn stud being gay was enough to black ball him from “mainstream” Porn. Yet after the Advent of Mrs Mitchell’s Industry standard one of the few “gay for pay” studs was the one who started the FIRST post AIM outbreak. The Bisexuality of many of todays most prominent Studs is going to be the next catalyst for an outbreak.
Evil Angel, with is high risk names, are likely to be the company from which said fag boy will come. Let us not forget it’s owner,John Stagliano, contracted the disease not from some on-screen dalliance but with and encounter in his own private life. His two top studs are known for either gay or tranny porn movies. However we're supposed believe when the camera is off they do not participate in the activities they film. Most of the hired studs who do work for him love THINGS IN THEIR ARSE.(Insert Christian and Kurt Lockwood…ect)

Hey, and unskilled porn whore like bella has got to eat so she will gladly direct high risk behavior among high risk performers.


ChristianXXX....

I'm from San Antonio as well. I cannot believe the story you try to pass off here an in other Forums. In a town of short Mexicans, like myself, it's kind hard not to notice 6'5" gays(cough... bi's) hooking up with guys at the Bonham and other gay clubs in town. How have you convinced yourself that because you've found a career screwing primarily chicks(more volume more pay over the long run) they you DON'T still crave COCK in your arse and you mouth. So are we to believe that you and your ilk suddenly STOP behavior you've conducted for YEARS!??!?
When LA Direct is being RUN by your compatriot it will be hard for the strieght industry to extricate high risk people like yourself. One thing I know is that you Queens know solidarity when the dollar is the issue.

Bella video blog about herpes.

I wonder why Luke doesn't focus on a Potential Aids Outbreak because of NON SAFE SEX(wonder if bell will have all her stars in her videos with a condom "fully tested".. Will Evil Angel Back that play?)and Fag Boy Studs like Christian and the owner of La Direct.

Instead he chooses to OUT retired sucesfull ex PornStars.

Oh yeah, because that would require REAL JOURNALISM and HARD WORK. Although All he would have to do is come here to San Antonio with a Picture of Christian XXX and ask a few people at the Bonham downtown show him Christians Picture to uncover his true proclivities.

Cruising is part of gay culture. Just ask George Michal...better yet Senator Larry E Craig. This is a high risk behavior because its compulsive deviate sexual activities with others of the same mentality. Why do you think Aids is on the RISE in the gay community. Especially with your so called "Bi's" Like Christian.

Just when XPT was running short on single issue posters...

What's this? ChristianXXX is bisexual?

[sarcasm]When did this happen and why hasn't Luke dedicated an entire site to it?[/sarcasm]

Point of order--AIDS isn't on the 'rise' in the gay community so much as HIV is. But that's being overshadowed by ALL of the other STDs and most health agencies put a lot of that down to heavy meth use amongst gay men.

lol...i have never been to the bonham in my life. thats funny. i havent lived in san antonio since 1999 either. what a strange new poster.

Yes, And when you lived here you were active in the "community". I'm sure if you return here you still are. Also, like most gays who are playing straight you are more likely to go "cruising" to satisfy your itch. You say time and time again that you don't have sex with men in your private life because you're saving your "ammunition". However your potency has nothing to do with you bottoming. It is evident that you enjoy that activity. Nothing is a bigger turn on for this culture than a non traditional bottom like you...Bottoming. Deny it all you want. To say you've never been the the Bonham shows just how you've convinced yourself.(its not a lie if you believe it) The Bonham is a known hang out for EVERYBODY in town because it's THE CLUB for young people. Straight or gay in this cow town. You say this as if it's going to exempt you from having EVER SPENT time in ANY GAY club ANYWHERE. I can name peoples names in the community here that KNOW YOU but what would that prove. Your Gay. Your playing straight because you've chosen make your money that way. Ten, twenty years, or however many years from TODAY you will be living the life of a GAY man full time.
I don't see why the industry has accepted you and your ilk so readily. Would they accept a known IV drug user as readily. No they wouldn't. Eventually a female or strieght male performer of THAT culture gets ostracized from what is considered the "mainstream" of porn. Why? Because they are a higher risk group. Just as you STRAIGHT FOR PAY Gays are.

What has driven this trend in the Industry.

Probably the METROSEXUALIZATION of pop cutler in todays society.

May be its because, with the advent of GAY THEMED shows like Will and Grace, Queer Eye, the WHOLE BRAVO NETWORK gay men and that "look" has become more esthetically appealing.

It could be because John Stagliano isn't the only "bisexual" mogul who has some muscle in the industry.

Bottom Line is that the BOTTOMS of the industry like yourself are the most likely cause of the NEXT HIV OUTBREAK in the industry. With the "preventative" measure the industry is using an outbreak is INEVITABLE.

hey, hey, you done crossed the line when you call out bravo. they're showing harlem nights later.

ChrisXXX: If you don't mind me asking, what is your private sexual preferences? I assume bi? I know we both share an interest in the trannies.

i like girls obviously. everyone in the business knows that. that poster is just seeya/christiankurtsoreass/whoever fishing on an alt ID. i think its funny, because he tried to research San Antonio gay clubs.

"So am I gay? . . .Or not?"

“You've probably been brought up thinking that everyone, including yourself, is straight.”

- Phil -

“Being gay is something you might discover about yourself as you grow up - it's unlikely to be a sudden feeling.”

- Andy -

“Working out you are gay will probably take a long time, and may involve very difficult feelings.”

- Howard -

“Feelings of being 'different' and 'odd'.”

- Peter -

“I guess from a young age I knew I was different from the other guys.”

- Steven -

“...And wishing that you could be the same as everyone else.”

- John -

“And you'll probably discover that many people don't seem to like people who are gay, so it can be very difficult to like yourself if you think you might be gay.”

- Tim -

We've all experienced many of these feelings. It hasn't been easy, but it does get better.

The information here is put together from the words of some young gay men who have agreed to share their stories. Hopefully, what they say here can help you if you're wondering whether you're gay or not, and help you to deal with your feelings if you decide that you are. We also hope that their words will give everyone else who reads them a better idea of what it feels like to be a young gay man.

Loads of people will be attracted to someone of the same gender at some time in their lives. Some people might act on this, some people don't even admit it. But it's a very common thing - so don't worry, you're not alone!

“I always thought I was the only one who felt like this.”

- Martin -

“I felt there was no one who understood, and that I would just keep it to myself.”

- Dave -
"What does it mean to be gay?"

A man who identifies himself as gay is usually someone who only fancies other men. Some guys will be attracted to other men and be attracted to women - many of these men see themselves as bisexual.

There isn't any 'right' age for someone to decide or realise that they're gay or bisexual - for some people it's much later than for others. So there's no need to label yourself right away, and it's okay to change your mind!

“I was married for 30 years before I came to realised that I was gay.”

- Joel -

“I'm 18 and I have always known that I am gay since I was 13”

- Gary -

“Well I have know since I was 6 that I was gay, all the way through primary school and especially secondary school”

- Chris -
"But I'm not sure - how do I know?"

Being a teen can be a really confusing time for all sorts of reasons. You start thinking you've coped with puberty - and then all of a sudden, you get these new feelings. You start wondering - could I be gay?

There isn't a questionnaire you can fill in or a test to take! While your sexuality is developing, many teens will become attracted to someone of the same gender - it doesn't mean that you'll always be attracted to people of that gender. Some people can be quite old before they have their first same-sex attraction. For some people, the only way to know for sure is to wait and see. Other people seem to have known they were gay since they were really young - everyone's different.

“I have always known I was attracted to boys. I didn't quiet know what it was, or that it wasn't something most boys did. But I always knew. I can remember back to 1st grade playing 'kiss chase' with the girls. Yet I was chasing WITH the girls after the boys.”

- Cody -

For many people who were brought up thinking they were straight, it can come as quite a surprise to realise that they're attracted to people of the same gender. Sometimes something might happen to make you suddenly aware of these feelings - or you might have become aware of them slowly, over a long time.

It can sometimes seem like there's just too much to deal with - but don't worry, you don't have to make any decisions right now, and feelings often make more sense after some time's passed.
"Is it just a phase. . . ?"

This can be the reaction of some people who might not want to accept how you feel. While it's true that some teens might have same-sex feelings for a while, and then stop having them - for other teens it's not a 'phase' at all, but an important part of your life.

“My therapist also told me that I wasn't gay. It was the drugs, the new freedom, me not partying enough in high school”

- Joel -

“All the way through primary school and especially secondary school I knew although at first I was sure it was all a phase and that I would eventually meet a girl and my life would go 'normal' that wasn't the case, now I'm proud to be gay, it's part of who I am,”

- Chris -

“It was pretty obvious by 6th grade that my 'I am curious and this is only a phase' excuse was obsolete, so I decided to consider myself a bisexual, an orientation that still left some hope of marrying a girl and having a family like 'everyone else.' Having low expectations on the romantic theatre by my peers (I am a nerd) helped a lot, and gave me breathing space for my exploration of the 'homosexual taboo' online before I finally accepted the reality: I was gay.”

- Christian -
"But I just wanna be normal!"

Well, that's normal! Everyone wants to fit in - but really, everyone's different anyway. There're loads of gay people - and now there're gay people on television, in music, in the media in almost every country. Being gay is 'normal' - even though it might seem like you don't know any other gay people at the moment.

“That's what you're supposed to do, I thought, find a nice girl, settle down, have kids, retire and die. It was all I'd ever wanted since being a little'n. To be 'normal'.”

- Pete -

“I would like to suggest to anyone, the feeling never goes away that being gay IS normal and it allows for a fulfilled life and a new found self pride that you don't have to hide and pretend to be something you aren't.”

- David -

“When I was a kid I would occasionally try and will myself into being straight. I know now that it is impossible and I don't want to anymore. Even as a child I saw that there was benefits to being gay. I know this may sound wierd to some of you but I always knew it would help me see the world in a better way. By better I mean without crude judgment of people. By being oppressed yourself you are less likely to do the same to others.”

- Roger -
"Was I born gay?"

This is a question that's been asked for years and years - and it's still being asked now. No-one knows what makes someone gay. Some people (like some religious groups) say that being gay is a choice, and that you can decide whether you want to be gay, bi or straight. Most gay people would disagree with this, and say that they've always been gay.

“I didn't have a bad childhood, so I do believe that I was born with my homosexuality, and I'm fine with that!”

- Jason -

Some people suggest that people 'become' gay as a result of something to do with the way they were brought up, or because of something that happened in their childhood. This is also something that parents of gay people seem to worry about.

“You see, as a father he felt as if it was something he did or didn't do. Not realizing it was a personal characteristic I was born with and there wasn't anything that he or I could do about it. Other than accept the truth and deal with the fact that his son was gay.”

- Javier -

Other people say that no-one can choose their sexuality, and that whether people are attracted to someone of the same gender is genetic - that they inherited being gay, that were made that way.

“Because my brother is gay I think there must be something linked, genetically somewhere...”

- Michael -

Generally, though, most people agree that, whatever is responsible for making someone gay, bi or straight - that's just the way they are.

“Being gay is not a decision, like I said. It is a way of life. It is same way straight people are born straight. Now there are some people, guys and girls, who just jump up and decide to have sex with the same sex and the opposite sex, just for fun. But being truly gay isn't like that, as a matter of fact, most people that are gay, when they meet someone of the same sex that is gay, the first thing in their mind isn't, 'ooh, they are hot, I want to have sex with them'. - Notice I said most, some people though, that IS the first thing in their mind. Anyway, my point is, this is your life, and although some of you said that you may decide to live out your life 'straight', you can't change who you are, though you can fake it, marry a women, have kids, you will still never truly be happy, and you will still have thoughts about the same sex.”

- Jason -
"When should I tell people?"

The first difficult thing for you to deal with is realising and accepting for yourself that you're gay or bi. Once you know - you might want other people to know, as well. But this should be something that happens in your own time, when you feel ready.

“I've told three friends that I'm gay, but one of them told a few more people. It took some serious talking to clear that one up, he doesn't understand that I'm not ready to tell the whole freaking school that I'm gay... I mean what 15 year old would want to tell a whole year group of mostly straight homophobes!!”

- Phil -

If you know that you're gay, and no-one else knows, it can be really difficult. Some parts of the world are less accepting of gay people than others are, and so are some families. This means that many gay people grow up with their friends and families thinking that they're straight - and the pressure of keeping your sexuality a secret can get really stressful.

“Finally, I could no longer take it, and decided I needed to tell my family on my twenty-first birthday. But that day came and went just like any other. I wasn't able to bring myself to tell what I thought was such an awful secret.”

- Dave -

But if you're not ready, you don't have to tell anyone - there's always plenty of time in the future, if you don't want to do it now.

“I do plan on coming out, just not yet. I'd rather wait until I'm comfortable. Wait 'til you're ready. Don't feel pressured to come out right away or even at all! After all, one of the last things you want is to lose a friend or distance yourself with a family member. Or even worse, if you're young like I am you may find that you really are just going through a phase and you find out that you're not gay after you've told everyone and their mother that you are.”

- Graeme -

Sometimes, the feelings of having a secret and not being able to tell people about it can really build up inside. Working out your sexuality can be a difficult process, and these things are usually easier to deal with if you've got someone to talk to. The process of telling people that you're gay or bisexual is known as 'coming out'.

“When I was 19 I could no longer keep it to myself, I told my brother and sister in-law who have a few gay friends and they were like 'hey it's no big deal' they love me for who I am and I love spending time with them. Now I'm 20 and I need to tell my parents, although I don't know if I'll ever be able to.”

- Chris -

There're no right & wrong ways to come out to people, and you should only do it when you're ready. It can be really scary telling people if you're not sure how they're going to react - especially your family. Often the hardest people to tell are your parents. But you can make it easier for them and for you by waiting until you're sure you're ready. If you do decide to come out to them, choose a good time to tell them, too - they might need to have some space to think about what you've told them, so a really busy time like Thanksgiving or Christmas might not be best! Some teens find it easier to write their parents a note or a letter.

“Telling my friends was the easy part - not fun - but they have all been okay with it. Telling my mum was hard but do-able, but telling my dad was just impossible. I spent ages agonizing about it and worrying and thinking about letters or just blurting it out, but in the end I realized the easiest thing was not to tell him at all but get someone else to do it for me.

“I know not everyone has someone willing or able to do this for them but I got my brother to do it for me - and instead of the really negative reaction I expected from my dad nothing has changed. Coming out doesn't have to be on someone else's terms. If you need to, then be manipulative - not nastily - but just doing things in a way so that people will react better to them.

“I thought my dad would be really pissed off but because my brother told him he had space and time to think it over and decide how he was going to react he wasn't that bad. I'm not saying this would work for everyone, but if you think about it, there are ways of softening the blow - or even taking away the sting altogether.”

- Hugo -

Many people find that the best thing to do is to tell just one or two people first, people who they really trust.

“When I first got away from my old school, I emailed all of my friends. I told them all I was gay. Not surprisingly, 2 of them said it was wrong and gross. I wasn't that close to them anyway. The others supported me, told me that kind of figured it out on their own, and wished I would have told them before. I was in shock. I made my first huge step in the direction of being myself.”

- Cody -

So try to think it through, think what you're going to say, and how they might react. You don't have to tell anyone, unless you want to! If you're starting to realise that you're gay or bi, you'll already have a lot to think about - but don't worry - it's something you can come to feel proud about.

“If you know that you're gay, be proud. Don't let it hold you back. If you're on the fence, that's okay too. But the sooner you're certain what you are and are comfortable with it, the happier you'll be.”

- Graeme -
"Everyone round here hates gay people. . ."

This sort of prejudice against gay people is called homophobia, and unfortunately, it's quite common in some parts of the world.

“Because I live in a small town which is mainly homophobic I wasn't the most popular guy around. I kept myself to myself so I got the grief of being bullied. I twice nearly killed myself cos of the bullying.”

- Gary -

Sadly, many people use religion as an excuse to be homophobic. There's sometimes nothing you can say that'll change some people - try not to let it get to you too much. And if people in your area are making life difficult for you, try to just stick with any friends who are on your side. You don't have to stay in the area when you're older - there are many parts of the world that are much more tolerant.

“I do believe that I was born with my homosexuality, and I'm fine with that! A lot of people think being gay or lesbian is a sin, and we will go to hell for it, but this is how I look at it... God makes everyone right? God made me, God made you, God made and continues to make everyone. Therefore if God made me gay, because this isn't some DECISION that I made up one day, then this is how I am suppose to live, and die; and I am proud to be gay.”

- Jason -

If you've been brought up to think that gay people are bad in some way, or that there's something wrong with them, this can make it really hard for you if you realise that you, too, are one of these dreaded gay people... but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It can make you think again about your prejudices and wonder whether people who say negative stuff about gay men and lesbians are wrong, after all.

“I used to think being gay was terrible, but I have come to see that while it offers many challenges, it still offers much opportunity and hope. It also gives me a different perspective on things, and overall, I believe it has made me a better person. I wouldn't change that aspect about myself for the world.”

- Dave -

Karma, just shut the Hell up. Longest post I never read. Fuck off. Leave XPT now.

I thought it might be a case of shingles. It's like herpes, (it's even called herpes zoster) but it's a completely different virus than genital herpes. It's basically a recurrence of chicken pox, and thus not necessarily sexually transmitted. It is contagious and she shouldn't work with it when it flares up.

But I think that if it is shingles, she should get off this "poor me, the porno business gave me herpes" track.

What the fuck do I know...

Yes. Or shingles. But the presence on the upper buttocks screams staph infection. But what do I know.

That sucks. Belladonna is one of my favorite pornstars, I don't know what you people's problem with her is. granted, the squatting shorthair pic is not becoming, but she has a perfect butt and fucks like a banshee on camera.

I will miss Belladonna, its a shame she has to go out like that.

Oh, and I've never said it before, so here I go: "fuck kurt lockwood"

You're right about shingles on the ass. It follows a nerve line:

"In the active rash stage, shingles may be confused with herpes simplex, particularly in young adults and if the blisters occur on the buttocks or around the mouth. Herpes simplex, however, does not usually generate chronic pain."
http://adam.about.com/reports/000082_5.htm

Correction Appended

One hour into "Brokeback Mountain," Amy Jo Remmele began to cry, and not just for the woman on-screen, standing in a doorway in Riverton, Wyo., watching her husband embrace a man.

"When I saw that look in her eyes, I thought, 'Oh, yeah.' Even though I never saw my husband with another man, I knew exactly how that woman would have felt," said Mrs. Remmele, a respiratory therapist in rural Minnesota.

On June 1, 2000, Mrs. Remmele, then 31, discovered her husband's profile on the Web site gay.com. The couple stayed up all that night weeping and talking. Soon afterward, 10 days before she gave birth to her second child, Mrs. Remmele's husband went off to spend a couple of nights with his new boyfriend. "I tried to talk him out of it, and he left anyway," Mrs. Remmele said. "I was devastated." Three months later the couple divorced.

Mrs. Remmele — now married to a farmer who raises cattle, corn and soybeans — is one of an estimated 1.7 million to 3.4 million American women who once were or are now married to men who have sex with men.

The estimate derives from "The Social Organization of Sexuality," a 1990 study, that found that 3.9 percent of American men who had ever been married had had sex with men in the previous five years. The lead author, Edward O. Laumann, a sociologist at the University of Chicago, estimated that 2 to 4 percent of ever-married American women had knowingly or unknowingly been in what are now called mixed-orientation marriages.

Such marriages are not just artifacts of the closeted 1950's. In the 16th century, Queen Anne of Denmark had eight children with King James I of England, known not only for the King James Bible, but also for his devotion to male favorites, one of whom he called "my sweet child and wife."

Other women include Constance Wilde, Phyllis Gates, Linda Porter, Renata Blauel and Dina Matos McGreevey, wed respectively to Oscar Wilde, Rock Hudson, Cole Porter, Elton John and James E. McGreevey, the former governor of New Jersey.

Although precise numbers are impossible to come by, 10,000 to 20,000 such wives have contacted online support groups, and increasing numbers of them are women in their 20's or 30's.

On the whole these are not marriages of convenience or cynical efforts to create cover. Gay and bisexual men continue to marry for complex reasons, many impelled not only by discrimination, but also by wishful thinking, the layered ambiguities of sexual love and authentic affection.

"These men genuinely love their wives," said Joe Kort, a clinical social worker in Royal Oak, Mich., who has counseled hundreds of gay married men, including a minority who stay in their marriages. Many, he said, considered themselves heterosexual men with homosexual urges that they hoped to confine to private fantasy life.

"They fall in love with their wives, they have children, they're on a chemical, romantic high, and then after about seven years, the high falls away and their gay identity starts emerging," Mr. Kort said. "They don't mean any harm."

Helen Fisher, a research anthropologist at Rutgers University, said in an interview that human partnerships are shaped by three independent neurochemical brain-body systems, responsible respectively for sexual attraction, romantic yearning and long-term attachment.

"The three systems are very fickle. They can act together, or they can act separately," Dr. Fisher said. This, she said, helps explain why people can be wildly sexually attracted to those they have no romantic interest in, and romantically drawn to — or permanently attached to — people who hold no sexual interest.

"Once the system is triggered, it's so chemically powerful that you can easily overlook everything about that person that doesn't work for you," Dr. Fisher said. "Even straight people have fallen in love with people they could never make a life with," she said.

This is cold comfort to women who lose not only the men they love, but also their faith in how to parse reality. "A lot of women feel that they were just used as covers, but I know in my heart of hearts he loved me," Mrs. Remmele said. "You can't fake the way he used to look at me.

"I had no suspicions whatsoever. He's very masculine looking. It's not like he had Barbra Streisand or show tunes on."

Mr. Kort, however, said that women should look deeper. "Straight people rarely marry gay people accidentally," he wrote in a case study of a mixed-orientation marriage published last September in Psychotherapy Networker, a magazine for which this reporter is the features editor.
Some women, Mr. Kort said, find gay men less judgmental and more flexible, while others unconsciously seek partnerships that are not sexually passionate.But that sort of speculation infuriated Michele Weiner-Davis, a marriage therapist and author. "That's psychobabble," Ms. Wiener-Davis said. "A lot of gay people don't know they're gay. So how in the world are their spouses supposed to have some sort of gaydar?"

She continued, "Therapists should deal with the real issues — the shock to her system, that her husband wasn't who she thought he was and the impact on her own identity."

In the months after the discovery, Mrs. Remmele said, her husband left her alone with the baby on many evenings as he explored desires he had never dared to acknowledge. "So many of the gay spouses, they've denied themselves for so long, and it's like they're going through teenage-hood," Mrs. Remmele said. "I don't know if they really realize how much they're hurting their spouse."

At first, Mrs. Remmele told nobody. "We live in a small rural community, and people just aren't openly gay here," she said. "I didn't want people making fun of him."

About two-thirds of the women who contact the International Straight Spouse Network in El Cerrito, Calif., eventually divorce, said Amity Pierce Buxton, 77, a retired school administrator who founded the group in 1992 and has been researching the topic since 1986.

Despite their shock and their anger, many women, especially those criticized by gay husbands for being too sexually demanding, are relieved to understand what was wrong.

The remaining third of those she has studied try to preserve their marriages, Dr. Buxton said. Half of those stay married for three years or more. More than 600 such couples belong to online support groups.

In a 2001 study, published in The Journal of Bisexuality, of 137 still-married gay and bisexual men and their wives, Dr. Buxton found that most lived in suburbs and medium-size cities and had been married for 11 to 30 years. Only tiny percentages lived in rural areas, where family privacy may be harder to maintain.

The survival of even a small minority of these marriages calls into question the conceptual shoe boxes into which human partnerships, affection, attraction, commitment and sexuality are often jammed. Describing their permutations and combinations turns out to be much more complicated than checking a box on a form labeled "gay," "bisexual" or "straight."

One woman in her 50's, who asked to be identified only as Trillian, out of concern for her husband's privacy, said that she and her husband formally divorced after she discovered his secret sexual life seven years ago, but they quickly decided to stay together. She has a satisfying monogamous sexual relationship with him, while he also has sex with men.

"He tried to go back in the closet, but the more research I did on the subject, the more I realized this is an integral part of the person," she said. "You can't just turn it off like a light switch. My husband is the man of my dreams, and I could not face the rest of my life with the man of my dreams being miserable and guilt ridden over being gay."

She and her husband, together for 24 years, live in Ohio and work in manufacturing plants.

Paulette Cormack, a teacher who lives in Napa, Calif., has been married to her husband, Jerry, a retired city planner, for 36 years. For 34 years, Mrs. Cormack said in an interview, she has known that although she and her husband are sexually active together, his erotic desires otherwise focus almost exclusively on men. "It's not easy, but I truly do love him," Mrs. Cormack said.

Mr. Cormack is now involved with another married gay man, and Mrs. Cormack has had extramarital relationships. Neither has explicitly discussed this with their son, who is 25.

They remain intensely committed to each other. Last year Mr. Cormack nursed Mrs. Cormack through four months of treatments for cancer of the fallopian tubes. She eventually made a full recovery.

"What is intimacy?" pondered Mr. Cormack, as the couple sat in a coffeehouse in Berkeley, Calif., after watching "Brokeback Mountain" with others in similar situations.

He added: "I am totally committed on all levels to Paulette. I felt so intimate with her when I was caring for her during her cancer treatments — to me, that's a stronger expression of love than whether I'm having anonymous sex with a man.




I'm sure you "like Women" Christian. I'm sure "everybody in the Industry knows that". You don't want to be ostracized.

Christian's probably not worth so much trouble dude. The guy's a fucking scummy sex worker; bottom of the totem pole. His life couldn't really get any more disposable. Whether he's a fag or not doesn't seem that important after becoming a pro rentboy. Now if you've got 20000, I'm sure we could make this sack of shit disappear. Maybe we could go halves...

holy shit thats 2 seriously long posts!

It does seem to be something different. It's not staph though.

you do realize that i work for

Naughty America
Falcon Foto
Evil Angel
Brazzers
Hustler
Northstar
AMA Video
Matrix Content
Vivid
Adam and Eve
DVSX
SexZ Pictures
Pure Play
Twisties
Metro
Kink.com
Wildlife
Platinum X
Devils Films
and countless other sites and small companies

why single evil angel out? your posts get stranger and stranger. but keep them up, they are interesting

Staph has been officially ruled out, Tricia?

I guess if it doesn't hurt, then it's not shingles and herpetic in origin.

Staph hurts. I had impetigo as a little kid--the result of swimming in the pre-casino Atlantic City Bay (duh) with an allergic rash on my arms-- and it burned like a bitch.

so really you are upset at the entire porn industry and not just me? its hard to follow your posts. and i have done a little over 800 scenes so far in this business. 1000 is just around the corner. and lastly bro, the last AIDS scare was started by darren james and a genetic girl. how do you account for that?

You and the rest of the Industry behind John Stagliano can recticon that outbreak all you want. Darren contracted it from Bianca Biaggi(sex with transsexuals...check..sex for EVIL ANGEL and JOHN STAGLIANO ...CHECK)

Again leads back to EVIL ANGEL. TRANSSEXUALS(thereby homosexuals). and JOHN STAGLIANO