From YAHOO/AP:

Fake money doesn't fool Tenn. Strippers

SMYRNA, Tenn. - A man who authorities say used his computer to make fake $100 bills to buy lap dances at a strip club has pleaded guilty to counterfeiting charges, federal prosecutors said.

Strippers at Deja Vu in Nashville were suspicious of the bills and called police after Damon Armagost spent $600 of the fake money April 16, authorities said.

When officers arrived, Armagost first told them he got the money when he sold gold coins for $1,400 to an unidentified person.

U.S. Secret Service agents later determined that counterfeit bills with the same serial number had been passed in other parts of the country. When they went to Armagost's Smyrna home, about 20 miles southeast of Nashville, a family member told agents that an image of a $100 bill had been on a computer there.

Armagost then acknowledged that he had downloaded the image from the Internet and printed 14 of the bills, prosecutors said. He pleaded guilty Friday to manufacturing and passing counterfeit currency and has a sentencing date of Nov. 5.

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When you're dumb enough to get busted by a bunch of skanks at a Tennessee Titty-Bar, you may as well hang it up and .

They were probably tipped off by Darrell Waltrip being on the face of the bills instead of Benjamin Franklin.

Today's Dumbass comes to us from Romania. From ANANOVA:

Man confesses to murder to get lift home

A Romanian man confessed to a murder he did not commit because he wanted a lift home.

Marius Varzar, 23, from Botosani, had run out of money and wanted to be taken home by police.

He told a police patrol in a village 100 miles from his home that he killed one of his friends and wanted to give himself up.

Varzar was arrested and taken to Botosani by a police van where officers were investigating the case of a man found dead in the street.

But he was charged and fined after later forensic evidence revealed the victim was not killed and died from natural causes.

The alleged murderer admitted he was only looking for a free ride home.

Local police spokesman Florin Gavrilet said: "After interrogating the suspect it turned out he drank all his money and wanted to return home, so he invented this crime."

Police did not say how much the man was fined but said the amount was established also to cover for the transportation expenses.

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Hey OJ. I think I found your Real Killer.

I don't know this guy is in the running too.

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (AP) -- A gunman who took four bank employees hostage with an air rifle Monday morning was fatally shot by a SWAT team as he walked out of the bank with his gun drawn, police said. None of the hostages was injured.

''He came out of the bank holding his weapon and walking toward SWAT members in a challenging manner. SWAT then fired upon him,'' police spokeswoman Alicia Smiley said.

She identified the gunman's weapon as a Remington AirMaster .177-caliber pellet/BB repeater rifle.

The gunman was taken to University of Louisville Hospital where he was pronounced dead, Smiley said. He was identified Monday night as Guy Ray III, 44, of Louisville. Jefferson County Deputy Coroner Eddie Robinson said Ray died of multiple gunshot wounds.

After the three-hour standoff ended, Police Chief Robert White said the incident apparently was not a robbery attempt. ''We're not sure if it was domestic related or if there were some other issues,'' he said.

The man had entered the National City Bank branch a little after 9 a.m. and briefly held the four employees hostage before releasing them unharmed, authorities said. With the gunman still inside the bank, police sent in a robot with food, but officers had difficulty establishing contact with the man, Smiley said. The gunman walked out just before noon and was shot.

National City spokeswoman Kristen Baird Adams referred questions to police.

''Our primary concern is the safety of our customers and employees and we're cooperating fully with police,'' she said from the bank's headquarters in Cleveland.

It was at least the second time this month that a gunman was reported at a Louisville bank on a Monday morning. Two men robbed a Chase bank branch in south Louisville on Aug. 6. Those suspects shot and wounded two employees before fleeing with an undetermined amount of money. No arrests have been made in the case.

Strange, when I make out my list of preferred weapons for single handedly taking on entire SWAT teams I always forget about air rifles.

It's not just the crooks that are stupid. This cop clearly wasn't too bright.

‘From YAHOO/AP:

NYPD rejects 'dopey' meatball defense

So much for the meatball defense.

A veteran counterterrorism detective's claims that he flunked a drug test because his wife served him marijuana-spiked meatballs "simply weren't credible," and he has been fired by the New York Police Department, NYPD spokesman Paul Browne said Thursday.

With the dismissal, Police Commissioner Raymond Kelly rejected an earlier recommendation by an administrative judge that the detective, Anthony Chiofalo, be reinstated.

Kelly has final say on firings.

An attorney for Chiofalo did not immediately respond to a telephone message seeking comment.

Chiofalo, a 22-year-veteran assigned to the Joint Terrorism Task Force, was suspended without pay in 2005 after a random drug test found marijuana in his system. The officer denied ever using drugs and demanded a hearing.

During an investigation, his wife said she had secretly substituted marijuana for oregano in her meatball recipe in hopes of forcing him to leave police work.

The detective's lawyers presented evidence that she had passed a lie-detector test, and offered testimony from a toxicologist that the excuse was valid.

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Ms. Cleo predicts divorce in their future.