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This isn't exactly the first time Luke's had the threat of imminent pain or death hang over him.

And he's still here.

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And yet all this new drama is because Luke uncovered the truth that some loser named Lenny Friedlander shot himself instead of "passed away" that all the p.r. releases said.

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Lenny Friedlander, 50, owner of New Beginnings and former president of The Free Speech Coalition, passed away yesterday.

Bryan Berber, New Beginnings vice-president, issued the following statement to AVN. "It is with great sadness and regret that I must tell you all of the passing of Lenny Friedlander, owner of New Beginnings. Lenny died August 5 at his home in Louisiana.

"Funeral arrangements are pending," Berber said. "We ask that out of respect for Lenny and his family, that everyone will take a moment and say a prayer for him. Thank you all for your consideration in this difficult time."

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Why do pornographers invoke prayer? If there's a God, they're going to Hell. If there isn't a God, then prayer does no good.

By the nature of their work, porners must ignore God 99% of the time (or drown their guilt in alcohol, drugs, gambling, senseless sex, etc). But when confronted by extreme suffering and death, most find secularism cold comfort and they start reaching for the divine.

When I close my eyes and think of Lenny Friedlander, I see a guy with a big ol' gut.

The last time I saw him was in Las Vegas in January 2005. He repeatedly kicked me out of his Saturday brunch.

My most vivid interaction with Lenny was August 13, 1998. I wrote it up for my memoir:

I talk Rob into schlepping me to Lenny Friedlander's barbeque. I claim Lenny's a friend, even though we've never met. Founder of the Free Speech Coalition, Lenny owns the huge porn distributor New Beginnings.

Rob introduces me as "Donnie Brasco." The crowd consists of porners with intimate knowledge of the Mafia. I listen to them talk shop.

Our host, sporting a gut and a back brace, takes Rob and I on a tour of his mansion. When he learns that I am a vegetarian, Lenny has his new wife, a stripper, prepare a salad for me. I take it undressed.

At the end of the barbeque, Rob baits Lenny. "What do you think of Luke Ford?"

"That sonofabitch," Lenny roars, his face turning red. "I'll kill him when I meet him. He wrote on the Internet that I was a mobster. I about died when someone showed it to me. I couldn't sleep all night. I was angry for days."

Rob laughs and points to me: "That's Luke Ford."

Lenny freaks. "You said he was Donnie Brasco?"

People stream away from the barbeque and it appears, from the growing splotches of red on Lenny's face that I might end up at the bottom of his swimming pool.

"How could you bring that guy to my house?" Lenny explodes. "My wife prepared a special salad for him. This guy's trying to destroy the Industry. He says I'm a mobster. That we're all Mafia."

"Listen," says Rob. "Russ Hampshire,"

"Russ Hampshire?" Lenny interrupts. "I could get him here in ten minutes. I just have to pick up the phone."

"Russ Hampshire told me not to talk to him. And what does Russ do? Talks to him every day. He's all over his site. All Luke does is write what people tell him. He's not a good journalist or nothing. He just writes what he's told. If you call him up and say that he's written something wrong, he'll fix it. He doesn't care."

Lenny turns to me. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

"If I have printed anything false, I will remove it and apologize. I believe I simply quoted a fellow journalist, Wally Wharton, who said Jewish guys like you want to sound Italian, to sound tough."

"Do I sound Italian to you?"

"Oh no."

"I don't want to sound Italian. I don't want to sound tough. I'm a very respected businessman."

Lenny loudly protests his legitimacy until calming down and calling his lawyer. "Jeffrey [Douglas], you'll never guess who I've got here. Luke Ford."

"Get rid of him," says Jeffrey.

Lenny motions with his thumb and I walk off the property.

A few minutes later, Rob joins me at his car. "You get me in so much trouble," Rob complains. "I save your life again. How many times has it been now? You owe me."

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