Something Weird Video "Wish-List"

Something Weird Video is a great outlet for obscure and very strange smut. Since Most of us have never heard of these porn titles, I rely a lot on the liner notes. They are written by a few different people, but they are almost always hilarious.

Some of those that I want to watch based on the liner notes alone:

1. Rites of Uranus (1975)

SWV IMDb

"Rites of Uranus opens with a close-up of a huge lit candle stuck up some poor girl’s ass. She is naked upon the "Altar of Love". A group of guys in ratty monk robes called "Uranus-ites" sing "Hail to your Anus!" as they stand around turtle-waxing their genitalia."

...

"Their leader delivers a sermon: "Your anus takes my thrust and the penetrating force of my grey, hot venom shall shatter the sanctity of the mind!" (Right about now you’ll be asking yourself, "What in god’s name am I watching?!") Before you can say "Preparation H", Sara’s puckered pooper is ready for a poke."

2. Eight Ball (1972)

SWV IMDb

"Jack pays a visit to his college sweetheart Sally. She quickly slithers out of her dress. They discuss quantum physics, spiritual and philosophical values and the nature of God in the universe. Just kidding. They screw like rabid dogs in heat. "Do you give head like you used to?" he asks. "Yeah," she mutters. She’s not lying. She could suck the bacon out of a pig.

...

"That’s when "Aunt Lucy" shows up with a pistol. She’s a nymphomaniac who forces Jack to play her hairy harmonica. Then he’s locked in a room where he meets Keith, who’s been trapped there for 6 months! He has to service both women "five times a day." Will Jack and Keith escape the insatiable clutches of mother and daughter? Is Julie really only 14? Will Jack die of exhaustion? Will anyone really shell out twenty bucks to find out?

3. Touch Now, Pay Later (1973)

SWV IMDb

"Our poon-hunter happens on to their establishment and literally receives the champagne treatment. Ah, sparkling wine and pussy — an aphrodisiac discovered by the old Frankish kings! Hookers in the ’70s really did things right!

...

"When our boy gets ready to pay, the Madame pays him instead! Well, that’s the twist here and, needless to say, next time all three guys come... and come again. If you’re waiting for a punchline, you no doubt prefer your pussy with Snapple.

4. Business as Usual (1980)

SWV IMDb

"Meanwhile, Colleen is busy sucking off the sewing company’s accountant, a young dude called Major who’s constantly scratching his arms and chest as if from some nervous tic. And two models hired by Major to pretend they’re really seamstresses are climbing all over each other’s snatch in the sweat shop.

...

"Even if you don’t know a spindle from a bobbin, you’ll be able to follow the intricate plot all the way to its punchline — the accountant has scabies! And all the bad guys wind up scratching in the end!

I have Rites of Uranus but haven't watched it. I think you should add the following to your list:

The Russians Are Coming (head-damagingly bad)
Nude on the Moon
Bad Girls Go To Hell/Another Day, Another Man
Wham Bam Thank You Spaceman
Alley Tramp
Alice in Acidland/ Smoke and Flesh
Street of a 1000 Pleasures (Way out Topless sucks though)
The Notorious Daughter Of Fanny Hill/The Head Mistress
The Gore Gore Girls
Winter of 1849
Fuego
Sweet Georgia/Country Hooker

And if you don't already have them:

Double Agent 73
Deadly Weapons

For some Haitian style smut, check out Ecco

Willie, I'm almost afraid to ask, but how and where do you find this stuff? I would imagine that in a more liberal country your porn collection would one day be on exhibit in the Smithsonian.

"...the penetrating force of my grey, hot venom..."

grey? GREY? whutthafuck?