I can't sleep and have a lot of crap rolling around in my head and like my shrink that i see on thursday's (not the monday or wednesday ones) said its healthy to write it all out and that way its easier to get through.My new aged breathing coach also believes this could help, i owe everything to that guy, what would i do without 'river running wild'. So here is my all time top and bottom 5's there should be a shit load here so i will space it out so you can breeze over the ones you don't care to read about. If you happen to disagree with any of my 5's feel free to respond saying way, its healthy to communicate verbally or so says river.


Top 5 all time favorite porn stars

1. taylor hayes
2. janet jacme
3. cassidey
4. sydney steele
5. alexa rae

Top 5 porn stars i want to get hit by a bus

1. mark davis
2. lex steele
3. sammura
4. max hardocre
5. guy who writes for hardcoregossip (not a porn star really but says he has performered in a few vids so he gets in barely)

Top 5 most overrated porn stars of all time

1. jenna jameson
2. devon
3. janine
4. jill kelly
5. ginger lynn

Top 5 people the monkey will sue before it's all said and done

1. scott fayner (this will be a counter law suit)
2. Sarah McLachlan
3. universal studios
4. sean penn
5. jenna jameson

top 5 worst posters ever on xxxporntalk.com

1. smelly monkey (but this is a more love to hate thing)
2. sammura
3. the outsider
4. smartt
5. mr poo

top 5 best posters on xxxporntalk (slurp)

1. angelica knight
2. kami
3. gen padova
4. brandon irons
5. doron d (he has a small penis i had to throw him a bone, no pun intended)


MY top 5 worst people in porn history

1. marc wallice
2. max hardcore
3. rob black
4. john holmes
5. brazil (the country)

Top 5 uglist contract girls ever in porn

1. bella donna
2. felicia
3. jill kelly
4. Asia Carrera
5. Nicole Sheridan


top 5 worst bands of all time

1. good charlotte
2. black sabbath
3. linken park
4. slayer
5. kc and the sunshine band


top 5 most misunderstood superstars of porn

1. dave pounder
2. alexa rae
3. tony sexton (with a bullet)
4. star e knight
5. gen padova (fayner issue from a while back, still counts)

Top 5 people that really want to hurt the monkey


1. sammura
2. scott fayner
3. smartt
4. lex steele
5. probably marc wallice (although he is the only guy from the list that hasn't contacted me with insults and or threats)


Top 5 most overrated sexual acts in porn

1. anal sex
2. bukakkes
3. throat fucking
4. lesbian sex
5. any two dicks in the same hole (urg)


Top 5 porn movies i want to see made

1."well hung" staring william hung
2. "honey i shrunk the penis" staring doron d
3. "honey i am a penis" staring brandon irons
4. "crazy jungle bitch in need of aid" staring sammura and marc wallice
5. 'one night in paris' paris hilton (coming out soon, not a big paris fan but will still watch it none the less)


If anymore come to me at a later stage i will just add them somewhere down the thread if i haven't been banned yet.

There's issues between Fayner and Gen? Do tell.

Secondly, I agree that seeing two guys in the same hole is overrated. Regardless of where it is, whenever two guys are touching like that, it's gay.

Judging by some of your responses you may need to go more often to the shrink. Bad monkey for your choice of music groups, Ginger lynn, asia carerra and Bella donna.

Zen man linked you to the fayner, gen issues. He went a little far in the insults with her. I think it all has to do with gen's anti drug stance and fayner took exception with it, i could be wrong, gen would be the best person to ask.

you hit the nail on the head Smelly Monkey. I know he's a cool guy when it comes to good conversations, seldom anyhow. But he hates me for being antidrug like a few others around, its okay. I dont mind being hated for the right reasons.

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you hit the nail on the head Smelly Monkey. I know he's a cool guy when it comes to good conversations, seldom anyhow. But he hates me for being antidrug like a few others around, its okay. I dont mind being hated for the right reasons

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he had a sammura like breakdown over your comments. Are you sure it wasn't something else as well, because he really went off on you just for being anti drugs, i told you all personal details from our realtionship and he didn't get as mad with me as he did with you. The mind of a junkie i guess.

Probably because I also pointed out the true facts of Taylor Rain and her little issues she's got going on with herself. Some people just can't handle truth very well let alone face it.

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Probably because I also pointed out the true facts of Taylor Rain and her little issues she's got going on with herself. Some people just can't handle truth very well let alone face it.

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What exactly did you say about taylor?. i think he hated you prior to going out with taylor anyways.

I really dont have the patience right now to type a story. It doesn't matter anyways. That was a long time ago and I really don't care about any of it. Sorry

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I really dont have the patience right now to type a story. It doesn't matter anyways. That was a long time ago and I really don't care about any of it. Sorry

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Translation: I don't want fayner to read this and post another story about me on lukeford.com. I predict things.

Linkin Park, Black Sabbath and Slayer I still can't believe your list

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Linkin Park, Black Sabbath and Slayer I still can't believe your list

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The bands above are to the music industry as sammura is to the porn industry.

hmm actually I didn't even think of that but thats another good reason. Thanks Monkey

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hmm actually I didn't even think of that but thats another good reason. Thanks Monkey

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Your welcome cracker.