http://www.theinquirer.net/default.aspx?article=41634

Things to do in Denver when you're brain dead
By Andrew Thomas: Saturday 11 August 2007, 13:24

IT IS A TRUTH universally accepted that a man in possession of any Apple product is in want of a brain. Thomas Martel, reports The North Denver News, was so worried that his thumbs were too big to operate his shiny new Iphone that he had them surgically shrunken.

"From my old Treo, to my Blackberry, to this new Iphone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses," explains Martel. "Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it's saving me in frustration - that's priceless."

Even more priceless is the comment of the now considerably-richer surgeon who performed the bone whittling operation, who must have been surprised that Martel had actually evolved opposable thumbs in the first place:

"This is really, on the edge sort of stuff," explains Dr. Robert Fox Spars, who worked on developing the procedure. "We're turning plastic surgery from something that people use in service of vanity, to a real tool for improving workplace efficiency."

Martel says he now finds opening jars a bit of a problem - along with the absence of anything vaguely resembling a life.