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#265804 - 08/09/07 09:40 PM Jessica Alba gets the clap
Moxie Offline
Human Garbage

Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 1557
Loc: New York
Quote:

We’re going to apologize in advance to all the straight men out there, for ruining their Jessica Alba fantasies, but here goes…..

Jessica Alba(before she was Jessica Alba) used to date Derek Jeter, the serial celebrity dater, who plays for the NY Yankees. Well, our source who worked for one of their camps, had to refill her Valtrex prescription for her on a regular basis! Guess who she got it from…that’s right…dirty Derek Jeter.

You know what this means don’t YOU?!! All of his other famous relationships could have contracted the STD TOO! Derek’s most famous sexual conquest include Mariah Carey, Jessica Alba, Vanessa Minnillo and most recently Jessica Biel. Which means JT could have it AAAHHH!!

LADIES STOP SLEEPING WITH DEREK JETER!! 70% of all spreading happens when there is no sign of an outbreak ( we heard on the commercial, we don’t study Herpes or anything like that.)

It’s snarky we know but we’re doing this as a community service to Hollywood, to warn the rest of you young starlets to stay away from those baseball guys cuz they are DIR - TY!!!

But then again, who doesn’t have herpes in Hollywood, right?

Highly Dubious Source

And here I thought he and AROD were gay!

_________________________
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#265805 - 08/09/07 09:58 PM Re: Jessica Alba gets the clap
weeeee Offline
Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer

Registered: 01/09/06
Posts: 1248
Quote:

( we heard on the commercial, we don’t study Herpes or anything like that.)




Hahahaha, what a stupid place to defend yourself. "We're not smart or anything, we just saw it on TV."

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#265806 - 08/10/07 09:04 AM Re: Jessica Alba gets the clap
Soopergrizz Offline
Porn Fucking Master

Registered: 02/23/05
Posts: 3724
Loc: Paddling my canoe in the wild
Thanks for the tip!

She's in Vancouver filming The Eye as we speak. Out of an abundance of caution, I WILL wear a condom if I am afforded an opportunity to have relations with her.

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You're all still alive?

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#265807 - 08/10/07 11:20 AM Re: Jessica Alba gets the clap
gia jordan Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
I though 'the clap' was old people jargon for gono or clmyd. Why are you calling herpes that?
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K

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#265808 - 08/10/07 06:23 PM Re: Jessica Alba gets the clap
Stevie Why Offline
Gay For Pay

Registered: 05/16/07
Posts: 988
Loc: Sun Diego
Quote:

I though 'the clap' was old people jargon for gono or clmyd. Why are you calling herpes that?




Correct; the clap is a bacteria infection and Herpes is a virus. The clap really isn't old person jargon, its pretty popular with the youngins'.

From Wikipedia:
Quote:

"The clap"
Gonorrhea is also commonly known by the slang term "the clap". One suggested etymology refers to a traditional treatment used to clear the blockage in the urethra from gonorrheal pus, where the penis would be "clapped" on both sides simultaneously.[5] It could also refer to the painful sting in the male urethra, which feels like the sting of a clap (as in clapping hands) when infected with the disease. Yet another suggested source is from the old French word "clapier", meaning "brothel". Another suggested source for the term is from a notorious 18th century keeper of a brothel, Margaret Clap (better known as "Mother Clap"), though perhaps her name itself was derived from the slang term. This term has, in recent years, come to be used by extension to refer to any unspecified sexually transmitted disease.


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#265809 - 08/10/07 06:51 PM Re: Jessica Alba gets the clap
loopnode Offline
Porn Jesus

Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo


Attachments
254597-fag.jpg (2 downloads)

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