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I had a girlfriend once who liked to be fisted. There was no way she would have gotten that if she hadn't asked.
I like anal. I don't know very many women who would go for it if I just "do whatever". They generally appreciate a heads up.
On your fisting girl, you could've just kept adding more digits without asking. I'd say once you have your entire hand in, and she's still not objecting, it's a go.
Ok, then anal...you may be right on this one; however, it depends (no pun intended) on if your girl is cool with you totally owning her in bed and her ass has already had plenty of licking, fingering, etc.
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"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K