Quote:

I want suggestions of catchy phrases to help men stop wanking to porn.



Umm...
If you're reading Luke Is Back, you're not masterbating.
Or maybe you are.

Or a catchy advertising jingle

Your odds of scoring are less than maybe,
So buy some porn and burp the baby.

Or maybe it would be better to go with an established ad:

Wanking--so simple a caveman could do it.

Or just some old ad slogans:

The Internet--where wanking is job number one.

Gag Factor--Real meat for real whores.

Porn--the whore goes in before the name goes on.

Luke, how am I doing?