I can knock a motherfucker out if I have to, I have been in three fights in my life and I am the proud holder of a 1-1-1 record. And the only reason i lost the one fight was the Puerto Rican asshole broke my arm with a crutch, after I had him pinned and was about to break his nose. By the way, that fight took place int he hospital children's ward when I was 15....

The draw was against a double Amputee over the last bottle of beer we smuggled in to the hospital. I had the edge but I felt bad and went easy on him.

The win was when i knocked out some obnoxious asshole from Yale who was pissing at the feet of John harvard's Statue..I hit him with a bottle of Lowenbrau, while my two roomates removed his shoes and pants, but I got the credit for the W. Since college I have been rich enough to pay others to fight for me...