I was just about to say, "Burg, she can't sue. She's an ind. contractor." When I stripped, I loved how strippers would throw that term around to sound fancy (Krystalia thought she was so fancy) or just to justify dancing to Slayer (ok, that one was me), showing up when they please, avoid doing 2-for-1s, avoid handing out t-shirts...it's endless, BUT they'd want to be treated like an employee when it came to job security.

As for Miss. Maids-A-Milkin,' check the internet for a natural remedy or add a new beverage to the menu.