THIS IS HOW SHIT HAPPENS:

Darwinism - This shit was once food.
Capitalism - That's MY shit.
Communism - Let's share this shit.
Feminism - Men are shit.
Chauvinism - We may be shit, but you can't live without us.
Commercialism - Let's package this shit.
Islam - If shit happens, it is the will of Allah.
Islam 2 - If shit happens, kill the person responsible.
Islam 3 - If shit happens, blame Israel.
Impressionism - From a distance, this shit looks like a garden.
Idolism - Let's bronze this shit.
Existencialism - Shit doesn't happen, shit IS.
Existencialism 2 - What is shit, anyway?
Hinduism - This shit happened before.
Catholicism - If shit happens, you deserve it.
Protestantism - Let shit happen to someone else.
Judaism - Why does this shit ALWAYS happen to us?
Presbyterian - This shit was bound to happen.
Hare Krishna - Shit happens, rama rama.
Rastafarianism - Let's smoke this shit.
Atheism - What shit?
Atheism 2 - I can't believe this shit!
Nihilism - No shit.
New Age - This shit has an aura.
New Age 2 - This shit is all ONE shit.
Astrology - If shit happens, blame Saturn.
Astrology 2 - Shit is written in the stars.
Materialism - I want more shit.
Satanism - SNEPPAH TIHS
Jehovah's Witnesses - Knock, knock, shit happens.
Jehovah's Witnesses 2 - May we have a moment of your time to show some of our shit?
Jehovah's Witnesses 3 - Shit has been prophesied and is imminent, only the righteous shall survive its happening.
Moon-ism - Only really happy shit happens.
Calvinism - Shit happens because you don't work.
Seventh Day Adventism - No shit shall happen to Saturday.
Creationism - God made all shit.
TV Evangelism - Send more shit.
TV Evangelism 2 - If shit happens to a televangelist, it's okay.
Secular Humanism - Shit evolves.
Christian Science - When shit happens, don't call a doctor - pray.
Christian Science 2 - Shit happening is all your mind.
Quakers - Let's not fight over this shit.
Unitarianism - Come let us reason together about this shit.
Taoism - Shit happens.
Confuisanism - Confucius says "Shit happens".
Buddhism - If shit happens, it's not really shit.
Zen Buddhism - Shit is, and is not.
Zen Buddhism 2 - What is the sound of shit happening?
Lutheran - If shit happens, don't talk about it.
Episcopalian - It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right wine with it.
Methodist - It's not so bad if shit happens, as long as you serve the right grape juice with it.
Hedonism - There's nothing like a good shit happening!
Stocism - This shit doesn't bother me.
Zoroastrianism - Shit happens half of the time.
Practical - Deal with shit one day at a time.
Utopianism - This shit doesn't stink at all.

AND SHIT KEEP HAPPENING...