I'm not a lawyer, and I don't even pretend to be a douchebag lawyer on the internet, but it's pretty clear to me that porn whores and dicks are not employees.

Maybe, just maybe, a contract whore could be considered an employee because they draw regular compensation regardless of their output, but I think most other arrangements (i.e. 1k for anal, 1.2k for adp, etc) fall under piecework and the true definition of an independent contractor.