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G'day, mates. It's the old Rev. Desmond Ford here, popping back in for a spot of rancor and Vegemite. My gay son Luke Ford and his brother are like chalk and cheese, I reckon. I still don't understand how my loins could have produced such a fair-dinkum dimwit as Luke. He recently cried like a girl and announced that porn actress Taylor Wane "attacked" him. I saw the video, and in Australia, we call that a handshake. I must say, I could take on a bit of that Taylor Wane myself. And she'd know it, too, by cracky! My faggot son Luke Ford should be grabbed by the scruff of his miserable neck, knocked about, and have his ears boxed for his woeful whingeing. I'd do it myself - Lord knows, I've tried in the past - but since I have a Sunday sermon to compose, I was wondering if you fine XPT gents could sort the boy out in my stead. I'd be very grateful; it'd be ANZAC biscuits and milk for all you lads! I'll be back soon with some further bulletins regarding my gay son Luke Ford and his buggering antics with his childhood friend WAYNE CHERRY. I have a story involving a kookaburra that'll disturb the lot of you, I promise! Carry on, gents -- here's mud in your tankard!



Ah, the good Rev., you're back. And none too soon, I might add. You see, Jim B's chronic depression had once more set in, this time worse than ever. But your sparkling genius wit has again given him much-prayed-for blessed relief, fleeting as it is. So, you come back real soon now, you hear?

Now, back on topic. Bring me the head of Puke Whored!
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"I can relate to Larry Craig. Like the good senator from Idaho, I am not gay, but I do like, on occasion, to prowl airport men's rooms for a little hot man-on-man action. Again, that doesn't make me gay." -Jamesn