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I've always been awake. In denial is another thing at times. Although, I do like to believe that I have a good heart and wanted to have something going for himself before he left. But it's so understandable that it's hard to handle living with a wanna be porn whore who has health issues left and right. LOL



At least one ( possibly? ) good thing about the health issues is that it meant you didn't get caught up in the current HIV issues I guess....? I'm sorry everything all happened at once for you It must have been so hard