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You can actually ordain yourself a minister of anything these days. Even Tori Spelling just became one so her friends, a gay couple, could have a committment ceremony.
I've already ordained myself "High Priest" due to my sheer magnitude of addiction to porn, and my ability to transcend space and time when I'm wasted.
I'm also taking applications for a "Whore Priestess" you seem very qualified Gia, I can just about forgive you for not allowing Max time with your goodies.