Tough choice. Realistically, I'd have to go in this order:
Wife: K
Let's face it once you're married the sex is going to dry up, so you just want someone you can really resent properly. I think it's her.
Mistress: B
The cutest IMO.
Maid: M
The fact that she looks like a slightly retarded dwarf would provide me with hours of amusement.
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I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH