it's almost 6 in the morning and i'm reminded of how weird my neighbors are. the people 2 houses to the right of me are typical mcmansioners with 2 children under the age of 8. the people who live in the other half of my large, creepy victorian that was never meant to house 2 seperate occupants are a creepy economist from bu and his wife who teaches spanish at tufts. they have a hot daughter at dartmouth, but that's irrelevant. they don't mow their yard unless i pay for it, which i do, which is bullshit, since he's totally-tenured.

the bu guy decided it would be a great idea to buy a yellow lab a year ago and not train it whatsoever. now this yellow lab is fully-grown and not trained. whatsoever. so it leaps at you when it sees you.

he also does not believe in leashes. so he walks it daily with no leash. of course an untrained yellow lab wlll run at young chidren(cue dual 7-series owning people 2 houses down) which it does with frightening regularity. so mcmansionguy screams at aloof academicguy most of the spring to "leash that dog". which he does not because his wife thinks it's "inhumane". so the battle continues.


starting in june, mcmansionguy starts calling cambridge pd everytime he sees "henry" walking the lab. somehow i've become the intermediary on this situation with mcmansionguy confiding "next time the dog knocks over my daughter, i'm going to shoot it before it exits my property". so we talk about guns. i'm kinda rooting for mcmansionguy since he has guns and he mows his lawn.

so who are your neighbors?

seriously, reply, i bet there are some interesting stories.

Sounds like a problem for gardenweb. Maybe you could get mcmansion guy to shoot the bird outside your window. Just tell him it's unleashed.

My next door neighbor is a Korean War veteran. Grumpy, old cranky guy who goes to bed at 6pm and by 3am is awake playing
big band music. I hate that.

My neighbor across the street is a Japanese family that paid 600,000 dollars cash for their house and is financing the rest. They don't speak any English. The father/husband works for the Japanese Embasy.

My neighbor to the left is a mixed family. They got white, black and Puerto Rican in them. Don't know much about them except they have a daughter named April about 22 yrs' old that is a nice piece of ass.

My neighbors are boring, So I am going to reference my one gardenweb post and suggest you could solve your similar problem by feeding that lab chunks of raw child.

across from me lives a tranny. the lady really has affection for nattie. she went to new york recently and actually brought nattie back a toy from some parrot boutique place. talked to the owner and everything, describing nattie and her disposition, getting advice on the best toy for ol girl. really expensive toy, too. like sixty bucks. nattie never plays with the thing. nevertheless, very nice woman.

below me is this old bitch. she recently complained about the noise in my apartment. she's come up and bitched about nattie to me personally a couple times, but this time she called the office. weak. nattie is a very quiet bird, actually. other than beeping very loudly, like the microwave, occasionally, there's no way that old whore hears her. she actually complained about josie, this quaker i was fostering briefly. ok, fine, so josie was pretty loud sometimes, but shit. i never complain that she leaves her tv on all night blasting carson daly through the whole building. last year she actually complained that the tranny left her christmas decorations on the door for too long. (that reminds me, i better remind her to take down that american flag bow, before there's trouble) the tranny and i have discussed her. we don't think she has a very happy life, so we just try to be pleasant and ignore her. doesn't even like the dogs. sad old bitch.

My neighbors on the left are a pretty normal Portuguese family with well-behaved kids. To the right of me is a 40 year old Sicilian piece of shit who still lives at home with his mother. He has never worked and cannot get on welfare for the simple fact that he lives with his mom, whose pension checks he steals and cashes every chance he gets.

He's a curious little fellow with a cross addiction to Tylenol 3, crack and heroin, though he hides his needle tracks by shooting in his bicep. I can't even walk barefoot or in sandals on my front lawn for fear of 'finding' a discarded needle. The police drop by his house a couple of times a week to keep tabs on him, but this small-timer is always one step ahead of them.

A couple of years ago twenty police cruisers swarmed my block because this fuckhead had taped a sawed off shotgun to his chest and called in a suicide threat. Everyone on the street was gathered around egging him on to pull the trigger, but to no avail. After two days of psychiatric evaluation he was back with even more meds.

Despite the little cockroach on the other side of the fence its a pretty quitet street. And when he does die/move/do hard time we're all throwing the mother of all block parties.

my neighbor below me is the most interesting one in our building. total flamer who apparently is involved in musical theatre or aspires to it because every once in awhile (usually on lovely spring like days when everyone has their windows open) he will play his piano and sing out these awful broadway-like "tunes", usually with another guy, in something that might be the Drama-Fag's variation of "snuggling". The funniest time with him tho was when apparently he had to call the cops to extricate this other fag that he met from AOL and it turned into a live action version of one of my fave TV shows (that would be Copsâ„¢). Thankfully all this happened on a lovely spring sunday afternoon and all the neighbors were able to enjoy it fully. After much silly drama they finally got the guy to hoof it out of there and the neighborfag was all thankful to the cops and all that and he drives off. Well the cops ended up hanging around and talking to each other and lo and behold the neighbor drives back with his lil AOL find in the passenger seat. The cops saw this and it all started up again. funny shit.

The current NOAA observation for Scottsdale is "sunny, 93ºF," and it's only 9:30 in the morning. I have a nice air-conditioned view of Four Peaks and the McDowell Mtns, and the Dropkick Murphys' "Rocky Road to Dublin" is in the background.

My neighbors to the west are John & Carol, a retired Canadian couple. He invented some type of patent for auto bodies and sold it to GM. Last time I saw him was in January, selling off some old rusted hull at one of the many car auctions trying to rival the Barrett-Jackson. To the east lives Dana, who is about my age, and works as a "tour assistant" for music groups. She says she's worked for Cher and the Rolling Stones. Dana could well work in porn; not as talent, but she's unstable enough that she could be a MUA or something. She redid her entire floor with those glass privacy tiles they use at public pools. Every now and then some of her creepy friends show up and ask if I have a key to the palce.

I'm in luck, it's only going to be 109ºF today.

quality boston band, the murphys are

I have no neighbors in the classic sense. We don't see or hear anyone from here. Our nearest neighbor, though, is extending his string of terrible, terrible dogs. For some reason he keeps buying Australian Shepherds, and they've all come raiding our ducks and chasing our cars. I don't slow down whatsoever anymore- I'll get the bastard soon enough. My yellow lab (well trained, btw) keeps it away from the ducks.

I don't like neighbors, and don't do well in urban settings.

Neighbors to the West are a nice family with a couple of kids. Respectful and not too rowdy unless they're on their mini quad things. Neighbors to the East are idiots. Serious idiots. The kind of family who make you believe in eugenics. They bought a new pool a few weeks ago, cost I dunno how much. Put it up, filled it and then their youngest idiot son immediately broke it, spilling hundreds of gallons of water into their yard. Luckily, they're a ways a way from my place but still in range of a scoped rifle.

Got no one to the North or South, just nice views.

The neighbors on both sides are Arizona natives, and as such, I have spoken to them fewer than 3 times each in 7 years. I don't understand why the natives are like this, but that's the way it is down here. At least they don't cause me any trouble.
Two houses down an Israeli moved in and he regularly crashes through my door like Kramer, bearing cigarettes and Scotch. I like him.

In my first apartment I lived across the street from a meth house. It was serious entertainment for months. I kept a set of binoculars by the window just to watch them. There was constant suspicious activity going on all the time, different cars going coming and going throughout the day, ALL walks of life: rich, poor, young, old, scuzzy, clean. More than once I watched people litterally try to break in when no one was home. Another time I saw smoke BILLOWING out of the chimney while the guy who lived there paced nervously in front of the house on a cell phone. It was really an awful place to make drugs, it was right next to a big intersection and surrounded by busy restaurants. They made several attempts to disguise the place as a legitimate buisness, my favorite was in December when they turned it into a x-mas tree farm that only sold trees between midnight and 4am. They through up a hand painted sign and a couple trees in the front yard. Eventually they either got bought out by a auto mechanic or just got better at more being inconspicuous.

My neighbor next door neighbor just moved in, a couple in their early 40s with two daughters that come to my place almost all the time and a son whose 6. His wife looks like she'd be down to cheat on him and I know she works in advertising.

The other neighbor is an older couple (mid to late 50s); some white dude and his Japanese wife. She speaks horrible English but she's a bigger pervert than myself. Once they threw a party and she flirted with everyone (to the point where we thought they were swingers). I know they don't work, but they're very rich. The husband collects vintage cars and from what I can tell, the wife does shit all day.

Theres another neighbor about 2 houses down that I know whose Brazilian (but looks white: you'd never guess he was from Brazil) and owns a big club here in LA. He's single and in his early 40s, I see him rarely though.

Also, there is another lady that lives around here; a couple of houses down, Canadian, plump and in her 40s, works in television. When I first moved here she was very friendly. She wasn't married but I did see her with this very old guy (probably in his 80s). Anyway, she once expressed some interest in my dolls so I invited her to an art show I had. I don't think she liked what she saw because since then she hasn't spoken to me.

my neighbors are nice old ladies with small dogs

hey chico...do you think it was more racial profiling than the camaro you were driving?

The neighbors to my left are nondescript and hardly worth a mention except that their hot, freshly minted veterinarian daughter likes to come over quite a bit and sun by their pool. When she's there I like to do yard work out back at the top of the hill. That vantage point gives me a clear view down to their pool at patio and their glistening daughter. The neighbor to my right seems to be something of a recluse. In three years, I've caught one brief glimpse of her from behind. I'm told she's in her late 30s and not bad looking. I can testify only that she's blond and has a pleasantly roundish ass.

The neighbors to my left (North) are an average married couple. Only thing is she cuts the grass and couldn't do it right if her life depended on it. She keeps hitting the gas meter/main on the side of the house that faces mine with her mower. I wonder if I'll even be here if she blows up their house and takes mine with it.

The neighbors to the right (South, house faces another street) are seniors. He's a retired pastor and I don't know what the wife does or did. I never really speak much to him but I'm waiting for the day he starts giving me a religious sermon.

The people behind me (West) I really can't call neighbors. There are 4 houses behind me in a cul-de-sac. The houses are all owned by Catholic Charities. Cambodians, Vietnamese, fat white and blacks, have all lived in these houses. I believe a Chinese family has lived the longest in one of them. During the summer they have parties on Sat. nights and will play this annoyingly loud ching chong type music and light fireworks. This is a frequent occurance.

I actually like my neighborhood. It's relatively quiet except for the Sat. night about 2 months ago. 6 shots were fired at a house in the other block behind me. That never happened before.

I live in an apartment in central tokyo, and my neighbours are rick tokyo fucks.. noone really acknowledges eachother, there is certainly no community to the place, and of course I have the token garbage nazi/building cleaner that pulls aparts and separates my garbage every once and a while. when I first moved in here miike takashi lived in the apartment below me, I sometimes ran into him in the elevator, he kinda creeped me out a bit. I used to live next door to the rat lady, who's house was infested with rats that scurried up the front of the house when you walked past, as the front of the house opened right onto the street, the little fuckers were close enough to rattle you. one night I had removed a ceiling panel from my closet and one of the little fuckers found its way into my room and BIT me on the fucking toe as I was drifting off to sleep. I don't think I've even been so freaked out..

I don't know any of my neighbors. I don't know them and I don't want to know them. And I don't want them to know me.

I have 6 neighbors worth mentioning and I dislike all of them. None of them have any redeeming qualities that I know of and all of them are referred to by disparaging nicknames when possible. This will have to be a 3 or 4 part series because my post would be daburgler-esque in length and I would probably put my fist through my monitor thinking about all the fuckers that live around me.
1. Home Depot
To the west is a Victorian style home that was recently bought and is being renovated so it's empty for now. A small cottage is also on the property and the guy that rents the place is a tool. He's really fat and has a mullet. I wish his story ended there because fat and mullet is bad enough but it doesn't. This prick mows the lawn with a weed whacker so it takes him 3 times as long as it would a normal person with a lawn mower. I'm tempted to pay the Mexican guy that mows my lawn to go to his place just for some peace and quiet. fat+mullet+weedwhacker=awful He was just fired from The Home Depot about 1 or 2 weeks ago if you can believe it. fat&mullet A corpse would have trouble getting canned from Home Depot as long as it didn't have a mullet. Too many customer complaints against him is what he said was the reason. I haven't asked what his new job is yet, Kmart maybe. Oh yeah, he drinks wine and plays the harmonica outside at night on the weekends shirtless. A 6 foot vinyl fence separates us as it is but it's not enough. Clearly some way to remove fatmullet is in order.

#473S, #475S, #573S, #575S, #574S, #575S, #373S, #374S, #375S

I have actually known two of my neighbors for quite a while, but that's not too odd since I grew up in the house I now live in. Across the street is a retired couple whose daughter used to babysit me way back when. The dad occasionally gets shitfaced drunk in the middle of the day and wanders over to talk about absolutely nothing. The guy next to me is a contractor, and he's been "remodeling" his house for like 6 years now. It's incredibly annoying that there's construction noises going on all day, especially when it starts at 7:30 AM on a Saturday. During my drinking days I would curse him as I lay in bed with a wicked hangover, but now since I wake up sober and very early, it doesn't bother me as much anymore. He's very friendly, helps me carry in my Christmas tree and lends me tools if I need them. Across the street on the other side of my house is a group of Brazilian students. They like to have really big, loud parties, and once one of their friends came over to my house while I was gardening, and asked me to marry him. Because I was startled and stupid, I actually gave him my number, and a few days later he left me a message, beatboxing a request for a date. Which was: going over to his house to watch TV with him and his buddies. Such a lame attempt at a date made me realize he was in his early 20s, and not worth a moment of my time. It was one of the lamest and funniest messages I've ever gotten, and I saved it for months to play for my friends. Recently I ordered Indian food for dinner, and the delivery guy was a 5'1 guy who lived in that house. He told me to come over the next time they threw a party. I told him I don't really party anymore and he looked very sorry for me.

On one side I have my landlord, one of my dad's best friend(even though he's old enough to be my dad's father) when he lived in this town. I've heard some shady things about him from other people, but I've had no problems with him. He gets somebody to come over and fix things pretty quick when they need to be fixed. Sadly, I don't think he'll be around too much longer though.

On the other I have, well, a family of idiots. Never interact with them at all, except the guy worked at the factory for a few weeks and was really, really slow. He thinks he's a handyman, but isn't. He was building a shed, which looked alright, until he got to the roof. He just put roofing shingles over the top of the shed without anything underneath. He just nailed it to the 2x4's where you would put the roof on at. Needless to say, it caved in after a couple of days.

Him and his wife love karaoke, too. Problem is, they have literally been laughed out of both bars in town that have a karaoke night. They bought their own machine and sometimes turn it up a little too loud. She has an annoying, high pitched shriek when the woman sings.

Behind me is an old man, who is apparently a veteran according to the license plates on his truck. I've only spoken to him once since I've lived here. My aunt was staying for the weekend and had here mean-ass, stupid dog tied up out back. The guy came and complained that the dog looked like she was going to break her chain and attack him, and if it did he would take his gun and "Blast him into Heaven."

My 4th grade teacher(also taught a bit of my 1st grade year) lives across the street, but we never even talk aside from the occasional "Hello" when we are both outside at the same time. Doesn't seem as nice as she was back then. I dunno.

why fatman dont post in this thread?


he dont have neighbors, he ate all of them

I'll tell you more about my former neighbor when the statute of limitations runs out. But she was one fine piece of ass. I kinda regret how our last date ended, but at least I got off before things went south.

When I was growing up my neighbors were the fucking inbred scum of society (Vanessa you know what I am talking about...these people are almost as low as vermin as you are). To this day I still believe that the parents were related...at least cousins if not brother and sister. Now the oldest child was like 13 when i was like 8 but he was fucking autistic he use to make really cool forts and shit. but he would run around our town in February in his underwear playing in the creek being brought home by the cops. The daughter was fucking remedial as shit, i believe she use to gang bang dudes at parties but i was too young to go i just remember hearing about them...its funny too because there house expanded as their kids got older to they attached a fucking air stream trailer to the back of the house those neighbors fucking were horrible people someone should burn their house down and stop the incestuous breeding now....

Up until last week, I was living on the Lower East Side in a converted warehouse owned by a cheap Lubavitcher with a penchant for illegal Chinese slave labor. The place is so jury-rigged that everytime it rains, there's a flood and the elevator stops working. There's a bunch of South Asian hedge fund douchebags that throw parties on the roof a lot. There are the Korean NYU students next door. There's a Hollywood A-list daughter who collects cats and invites models and recognizable cokehead actresses over a lot. Nobody really stays here for more than a year, so I didn't get to know any of them.

I don't know anyone in my new wop-tastic neighborhood in Brooklyn yet.

is there a room for rent in this place?? i am interested

Quote:

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The place is so jury-rigged

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I always thought it was jerry-rigged.

Urban Dictionary




Which WOP-tastic neighborhood is it: Bay Ridge, Bensonhurst, Canarsie?? Actually I don't know if any of these are still eye-tie haunts. Is Williamsburg still Brooklyn or is it just the Giglio boys, a pastry shop and a couple of restaurants hanging on?

"jerry-rigged" is correct, and that's just the politically correct expression that came out after WW2. "Jerry" being the germans.

We all know the original expression was "nigger-rigged", and we all know what it means.

I was visiting my mother in Chicago last week and got to witness her new neighbors....

When I was growing up the house next door was was a border line drug house (parents die and leave house to 5 grown male kids who do nothing but get high all day)...then once all the drug users got too old to perform the antics that made us feel unsafe...the house got sold....

the house was sold to poor souls who tried to "flip it" and they did so well that the only people who bought it was a family straight off the boat from some poor Caribbean or African nation...

they barely speak English and a simple good morning on my behalf only elicits blank stares from the children and a smile from the parents...

This family doesn't seem to realize that when you move from a hut to a house there are many advantages......one is you now have a backyard....you no longer need to cook and play and leave bikes and toys in your front yard or that of the neighbors decently manicured lawns.....(don't get me started on the weeds in their yards that blow into everyone else's)

I wake up one day last week to let my dog out in the backyard to do his morning business.....and guess what I see...3 refugee looking kids in my mothers back yard....picking her peppers from her garden....

It was that that moment that I wished the dog I owned was a mean Pitt or German Shepard...or any other mean ass dog willing to bite strangers.....instead of the people loving Bichon that constantly dusts my floor...

I let the dog out and watched them hop back over the fence....

If I knew for certain they weren't Nigerian or Jamaican...I would have started kicking some foreign ass...

I forgot to mention that my neighbor across the street from my mailbox is the son of a member of one of Americas most favorite southern rock bands.

He keeps too many beagles in too small a pen- they howl all the time. Even my dog sends hate in their general direction.