If it's good enough for Shane Bugbee, it's good enough for me:

Conky to Act as Advisor for All New Hollywood Productions

Conky, an adult industry lube recycler who posts on the well known forum xxxporntalk.com has reached an agreement to help famed directors and producers and all of Hollywood, and will act as consultant on all new films created in LA.

The upcoming movies for the year follow a number of people in various situations who feel that their last chance for success in life lies in doing something, somewhere or perhaps not doing something, somewhere. Conky has also done things in some places and not done some things in other places, leaving him financially squelched, and forcing him to take drastic measures-–namely recycling lube on porn sets.

The recycled lube received rave reviews around the world and has been called a masterpiece of ecological and social recycling in and out of the industry. The lube, and the significant outbreak of STDs passed on through its use as a recycled product, made headlines and has been debated endlessly on the internet.

Inspired by Conky’s woes and the plight that took him from a cardboard box to Hollywood, his tales must be told, and Hollywood is the perfect place to tell it. With Hollywood essentially telling Conky’s stories, Conky is finally getting something back for his troubles.

Conky said: “It’s a rare day in Hollywood to actually get paid and get credit for something like this. This is a real testament to Hollywood’s character!” Conky added, “The movies will be loosely based on my tale of woe, and I am thrilled to be a part of it even if Kevin Smith has told me I have nothing to do with any of his movies.”

For more information, contact Conky at xxxporntalk.com

Kill Bill Vol.1 is actually loosely based on events that happened in my life a couple of years back. Uma's a little taller than I am, but other than that they pretty much got it spot on.

yeah richard donner pretty much ripped a page out of my diary, that was to be our later project, for superman II. I tried to take over the planet houston, spoke with an evil british accent and wore black vinyl. at least bugbee is getting credit. my shit was on the d/l.

I also cite Goonies, Seed of Chucky and Lion King for not crediting me for my creative input.

Still in litigation with the Kubrick estate...

i actually am vin diesel. and i'm black. hopefully that doesn't cause any problems here, for anybody.

Just Fuckwhore and Joe the Nazi, but they're actually quite entertaining in a Wile E. Coyote meets Heydrich kind of way.

Breakfast at Tiffany's was based on me, but Capote said Audrey Hepburn had to play my character since I wasn't born yet.

This is getting silly. I've lost track of the number of requests I've received from Fox, Universal and Kevin Smith demanding my assistance on their projects.

I wish I'd never agreed to this madness, although I do like the sound of the proposed sequel to Little Women featuring a cast of dwarves. I'm putting Bridget forward for this one.