Luke Ford is the Edward R. Murrow of Porn Journalism and just as accurate.

Okay, seriously, have you ever heard the old saw: "If there is no news, go out and invent some"? Well, sometimes you've got to give Luke a little hand:
"Hey, everyone, I just heard that Sierra's not been a Christian for more than a week and already she's given head to three Republican Congressmen behind the altar at XXXChurch. I've even seen pictures."
Now post something like that in the Cage. Get yourself a fake ID and post it on ADT too. Then e-mail it to Luke with links to both posts, and tell him that he'd better hurry up and post it before ADT shuts it down. It would help if you cc it to Gene Ross. Not that Gene will post it, but it will make Luke jump twice as fast if he thinks he can scoop the competition.
Then, just sit back and enjoy.