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Reading a post like this, I prefer to seek out the code hidden in all the capitalized words. It seems to make about as much sense, and is more entertaining:
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FRIENDS GREAT HORRIBLE 2 HOURS SEVERAL ANY EVER ME, THINKING FINALLY I DID ANYTHING STILL ONE MANY AND FULL PLEASE CANNOT, CANNOT WHY REFUSES WANTS SO, SO, SO terrible?
WHY FRIENDS, ANYONE HER. NEVER ME HER FEELINGS NEVER.
FRIENDS, LADIES, WANT FRIEND.
Thanks Low. That made me laugh so hard, I sharted.
Artemusgordon = Burg
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"We had part of a Slinky - but I straightened it."