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Donny Long emails: Hey Luke, wanted to email you a little article about me and all these crazy bitches off of myspace.

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Really, if your "article" was worth publishing Luke would have seen it on here four days ago and posted the fucking thing, goober. E-mailing an article about yourself WRITTEN BY YOU is scrapping the bottom of the barrel of self-promotion.

This whole Donny Long "thing" (especially the proud "Long" name and Coat-of-Arms being added to every whore getting off the bus in Chatsworth) would be so much more enjoyable if he was an actual street pimp rather than whatever he is now: Agent? Suitcase pimp? Talent service manager?

Next on Showtime: Donny Long's Street Pimp Family. Imagine the motto: "Its better than Debbie Does Dallas Again...Right?"