When it comes to pretending to be stupid, Mary is in a class all her own. I tell you, she's had me convinced for years that she's as dumb as a post and thicker than DeBella's ass, but it turns out she's just a great, great actress....

Her latest drama is documented by Mr Luke Ford:

"Mary: "I’ve got this crazy guy I was talking to for two weeks. He’s a fire fighter. He just went crazy studying your website and reading everything about me."

"I said, stop reading. That’s not normal. If everyone had their life posted on the internet, there’d be some crazy things."

"He said, ‘Am I the only guy you’ve been with this month?’ I said, ‘No, there’ve been two others.’ ::bananapriceless::

"He said, ‘I’m calling Luke.’"

Luke: "What lies did you tell him?"

Mary: "That I wouldn’t do any more movies. That he’d be the only guy I’d be with. That I was pregnant. I was just saying that to scare him."

"He said, ‘You live a crazy life.’ I said, ‘You live a boring life.’"

I want to take a train across America. Good idea or bad idea?"