10) He hides all the crayons when he is a child! 9) He turns his homework in... ON HIS FACE! 8) He fancies the new "Ball Point Commando" Over GI Joe! 7) He beats off to "Calligraphy!" 6) It turns him on to call him "Pencil Dick!" 5) Refers to the the newspaper as "The Competition!" 4) On the subway, people like to look at his face while sipping morning coffee! 3) Instead of Pimples, he develops "Pound signs!" 2) Bleeds blue when he takes a shower!
....And the number 1 way to tell your child will be this guy:
All that meth you smoked threw that "Bic stem" is coming back to haunt you!