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#251477 - 06/15/07 08:26 PM
Who here has been to prison for any period of time
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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I'm just curious, have you ever been incarcerated, even for like, a DUI. Not just arlandrape-stuff. people filter in and out of this place in a probation-violationstyle manner sometimes.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#251479 - 06/15/07 08:40 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of time
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 05/18/06
Posts: 3555
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i've been married for ten years. does that count? 
_________________________
"I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend deep frying the fuck out of anything that gets in my way."
--Handful
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#251480 - 06/15/07 08:44 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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gigi, show us your tits.
as an addendum,
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#251481 - 06/15/07 08:54 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer
Registered: 02/18/05
Posts: 1138
Loc: British Colombia
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Quote:
i've been married for ten years. does that count?
Marriage is not a prison if you do it right GiGi! 
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#251483 - 06/15/07 08:59 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 05/18/06
Posts: 3555
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#251488 - 06/15/07 09:31 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Been arrested once, but didnt even make it to JAIL...get this! It shows what being WHITE, Disabled, Intelligent, wellspoken, polite-yet-not-eddie-haskel-esque-phony, versed in a basic thorough knowledge of Civics as well as the litigation tolerance/threshold-of-pain of most Western Mass Townships with populations around 20,000 but with average per capita incomes and net worths obscenely higher than the rest of the state, and most importantly almost-a-Harvard Grad-who-made-sure-to-show-his-School ID-before-his-state license (I was about 1-1/2 semesters away from G-day at the time of this alleged infraction of certain unjust, archaic and tyrannical controlled substance laws) will do for you under the right circumstances.
The two detectives, overweight, 3 years (max)from getting their 20 year pins and saying "sayanora Western Mass and 15 degree temperatures in January accompanied by 2 feet of snow, and hello Las Vegas and Boulder City with 24 hour Blackjack and hot & cold running *legal* whores", had me in their office trying to get me to either confess or trip me up in a story inconsistency. I just kept pointing to my hearing Aid, reciting Caesar's Gaulic Commentaries in latin (hah 6 years worth of a dead language proved useful afterall), grabbing my penis with my other hand like I had to pee and stating my urgency to go but their bathroom in the Officer's lounge next to the swat rifle cabinet was not up to code and I could therefore hurt myself and sue them for some ungodly amount of money since I was technically in their custody, even though I drove myself to the police station in my Handicapped Equipped Van AFTER they arrested me and read me my rights and frisked me in my wheelchair, which involved feeling my ass up from underneath to see if I was sitting on a MAC 10 which I DISLIKED very much (I told all THIS detail in English, in between the Latin recitation of Gaulic Warrior Dress Codes, Casualty Figures for Vercengetorix's Cavalry, and the strategic consequence of Caesar's Epileptic Seizures, which I did my best to demonstrate in the Universally understood body language of "FIT, The Thrown Type...")
No charges were ultimately files and the case dropped, I just had to return the substances in Question (or most of them anyway) and told to seek some help for "other issues"...
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#251489 - 06/15/07 09:43 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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I'm so boring. Never been in trouble nor close to it. Never dated drug dealers or convicts- not even of ClubFed variety. Did porn with a few ex-cons, though.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#251490 - 06/15/07 10:28 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 04/01/07
Posts: 103
Loc: Skid Row, LA
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Good things come in threes, all in one day I got arrested for a misdemeanor, and two felonies. You see, I thought grand theft auto would look cool on my record but it got dropped. I think I spent a night in jail. All the chicks were scared shitless of me and scooted to one side of the cell because I just zenned out and meditated with my eyes open in full lotus. Never been to prison. I got all my tattoos in Venice Beach. 
_________________________
MICHELLE-ASTON
Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star. --The Simpsons
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#251491 - 06/16/07 03:50 AM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Never even had a Traffic Ticket. But I have visited clients at Rikers, Greenhaven and Great Meadow. Does that count?
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#251492 - 06/16/07 09:48 AM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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This thread needs an option for:
Have you avoided apprehension through legal or illegal means?
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#251493 - 06/16/07 01:43 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of time
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 06/26/06
Posts: 100
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In 1992 I was arrested after selling 15 tablets of Ecstasy to an undercover narcotics detective in the parking lot of a nightclub in Houston. I was initially charged with conspiracy and possession w/ intent to distribute, but luckily my lawyer was able to cut me a deal where I just plead to the possession charge. Because it was my first offense and I provided "substantial assistance" to the police (ratted out my supplier, who ratted out his supplier, who went away for 15-20 years), I didn't have to serve real time, just a felony conviction and 5 years probation. Overall I spent about 9 days behind bars, and it cost my parents about 10 grand, but I never went to "prison." 1992 was a shitty year...
_________________________
Waist not, want not...
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#251494 - 06/16/07 02:38 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of time
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Human Garbage
Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 1557
Loc: New York
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I was a Prosecutor in the 90's. Got arrested once for unpaid tix, paid tix and was released. 1.5 hrs in holding cell. They knew I was LE and brought me Starbucks and a donut while I waited.
Edited by Moxie (06/16/07 03:00 PM)
_________________________
"This thing is ready to do damage!"
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#251496 - 06/16/07 06:19 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 07/09/06
Posts: 2362
Loc: St. Louis
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#251497 - 06/16/07 06:21 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 07/09/06
Posts: 2362
Loc: St. Louis
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I spent 3 hours in a holding cell for an unpaid speeding ticket. The pisser is that I paid the goddamn ticket.
_________________________
"Offer them what they secretly want and they of course immediately become panic-stricken."
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#251498 - 06/16/07 07:21 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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Until recently I never even had a moving violation. But, I get sentenced on a misdemeanor due to an altercation with a NJT bus driver on the 20th.
My arrest was kind of boring.
No mugshot. No prints. No bail. The cops were very nice to me and drove me home.
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!! 
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#251499 - 06/16/07 07:30 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Exactly what kind of "altercation?" Did you hit him? Details.
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#251501 - 06/16/07 07:38 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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A "her"? In quotes? Just what kind of Tranny Bus Drivers are you fucking with, Fatman?
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#251505 - 06/17/07 01:00 AM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 04/03/07
Posts: 786
Loc: on the dark side of the moon
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
A "her"? In quotes? Just what kind of Tranny Bus Drivers are you fucking with, Fatman?
Worst-selling movie of 2007:
"Fatman's Tranny Bus Driver Encounters."
She was short, fat, ugly and lazy. I think a tranny would have put more effort into its appearance.
... into HER appearance. Please. 
I feel guilty every time I see a cop, even if I am innocent, and suspect there might be a reason to warrant my arrest. For obvious reasons prison is my #1 nightmare.
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#251506 - 06/17/07 05:56 AM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Human Garbage
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 1681
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Couple of my friends got caught rolling doobs in my car at Darien Lake campgrounds. They got charged with possession, I spent the night in the drunk tank and was let off with a warning.
_________________________
There's not a woman alive who has not wanted to be treated like a whore. It's in their genes.
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#251507 - 06/17/07 11:48 AM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 07/06/05
Posts: 591
Loc: South of Heaven
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i spent 8 months in jail as a teenager
_________________________
that's hot- paris hilton
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#251509 - 06/17/07 07:18 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 01/18/06
Posts: 505
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#251511 - 06/17/07 08:16 PM
Re: Who has been to Jail? Is Gia Porn's Ms Goody Two Pradas
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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Quote:
I'm so boring. Never been in trouble nor close to it. Never dated drug dealers or convicts- not even of ClubFed variety. Did porn with a few ex-cons, though.
The Gia Rap Sheet:
You dont do drugs (that we know of except caffeine), nor do you really drink either, right?
You have NO Tatoos, no ridiculous piercings like a 4 inch nail thru your clit, no scars from caesarian sections typical of girls too young to use their birth canals to give birth but not too young for the one-way passage of 25 million little white immigrants passing the Statue of Ovary.
You eat well, almost to a fault (cuz you wouldnt be able to enjoy many of my best, most succulent dishes), and you actually have some net worth and save money.
You have a simple tasteful elegant sense of style that actually GETS & UNDERSTANDS that High Price Tags DO NOT equal better taste/style/value ... you also like and excel at some mathematical applications and theory and possess an well above average intellect .... and most importantly/astonishingly when compared to the typical self centered clueless narcissistic porn whore, you have the perspective and satisfaction of the customer foremost in your mind, whether they are buying, real estate, Prada merchandise, Coffee, Pornography, Gucci Bags (or Dump Trucks), viewing/reading your AVN Photos and commentary, and/or purchasing Lap Dances/Escort 'Experiences' (i.e. Cash For gash)...
Its almost like you are a super-refined whore with all the impurities and carcinogenic elements removed so that we are left with ..... what exactly? The perfect woman? Nah, even you Gia are too down-to-earth to claim that. I mean, "I am not used to my filth being this clean" (so also said Tom Hanks, America's greatest living actor in Bachelor Party.) You must be addicted to something Gia....GOD PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IT IS! < Burg moves closer to the screen...  :bananaintervention: :banana12stepwhackfest: >
I never did see Gia's scene that everyone talks about where she heartily exclaims "All for the Love of Anal..." I missed that one, but I am probably better off because such sincere, no bullshit, integrity filled work, by a woman who actually has her shit together in an industry where people shit all over themselves and each other everyday would leave me totally bereft of any whackable, jerkoff-able capacity whatsoever. I mean, I want Gia to advise me on redecorating/furnishing my house for christ sakes! 
A song for Gia ---> "Goody Two Shoes" by Adam Ant
Renamed for her to "Goody Two ... Prada Sandals" ) ....
...fuck it, how about "Goody *the capacity of a dumptruck filled with* Prada Sandals"....  
With the heartbreak open
So much you can't hide
Put on a little makeup makeup
Make sure they get your good side good side
If the words unspoken
Get stuck in your throat
Send a treasure token token
Write it on a pound note pound note
Goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes
Goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes
Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Subtle innuendos follow
There must be something inside
We don't follow fashion
That would be a joke
You know we're going to set them set them
So everyone can take note take note
When they saw you kneeling
Crying words that you mean
Opening their eyeballs eyeballs
Pretending that you're Al Green Al Green
Goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes
Goody two, goody two, goody goody two shoes
Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Subtle innuendos follow
There must be something inside
No one's gonna tell me
What's wrong or what's right
Or tell me who to eat with sleep with
Or that I've won the big fight big fight
Look out or they'll tell you
You're a "Superstar"
Two weeks and you're an all time legend
I think the games have gone much too far
If the words unspoken
Get stuck in your throat
Send a treasure token token
Write it on a pound note pound note
Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Don't drink don't smoke - what do you do?
Subtle innuendos follow
There must be something inside
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#251512 - 06/17/07 08:56 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Rob Black's Crack Pipe
Registered: 06/26/06
Posts: 100
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#251517 - 06/18/07 12:14 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
i passed years in prision in puerto rico when i stole a chicken
Just quoting for the hilarity.
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#251518 - 06/18/07 12:49 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 06/05/05
Posts: 4468
Loc: Great America
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Quote:
Quote:
i passed years in prision in puerto rico when i stole a chicken
Just quoting for the hilarity.
the chicken was your sister
remember you raised in a farm with pigs horses and donkeys(your momma)
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#251519 - 06/18/07 12:57 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
the chicken was your sister
remember you raised in a farm with pigs horses and donkeys(your momma)
So, the reason you actually spent all those years in prison was for fucking the chicken, not stealing it. Makes all the sense in the world now. 
Wrong, no farm raising for me. I'm a man, not a Puerto Rican. 
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#251520 - 06/18/07 01:18 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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Oh no, not again!
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#251521 - 06/18/07 02:17 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 06/05/05
Posts: 4468
Loc: Great America
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Quote:
Quote:
the chicken was your sister
remember you raised in a farm with pigs horses and donkeys(your momma)
So, the reason you actually spent all those years in prison was for fucking the chicken, not stealing it. Makes all the sense in the world now.
Wrong, no farm raising for me. I'm a man, not a Puerto Rican.
wrong who fuck chicken its you....u raised in georgia and be pounded by your relatives from de KKK in the NRA meetings
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#251522 - 06/18/07 02:34 PM
Re: Who here has been to prison for any period of
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 08/09/06
Posts: 9113
Loc: red dirt state of mind
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Quote:
wrong who fuck chicken its you....u raised in georgia and be pounded by your relatives from de KKK in the NRA meetings
Last I checked Georgia was not where near the Ozarks, and I was raised in neither. For someone who "claims" to be an American, you really know jack shit about it.
You're the one who believes black people are lower than insects, but I'm the klan member. Sure.
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. but i'm sure it'll be better for me the second time around-- you know, once skeeter and i make it official. 
that's wah wah wickity wah to you, biyaaaaaaatch 
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