Our Moral Leader, Luke Ford, visited the Adultcon awards last evening, to document the glittering event and its attendees.

It seems to me that the 'con' in Adultcon is that the girls who show up for this kind of gig are in any way attractive or at the top of their game. I can only assume that increasingly organizers of such shows are moving Luke to a secondary entrance where staff and service personnel come and go while the real beauties are arriving elsewhere.


The shiny, happy people were out in force.



He is neither shiny, nor happy. Don't see why he wouldn't be, just because his chick gets naked so thousands of men can imagine fucking her ass and cumming in her face. What's not to smile about?



You'd expect those dresses to cost a lot of money wouldn't you?



An observation, girls. If you're going to have surgery on your nose, ask if they can pack the excess into your tits.



Please tell me this is a maternity dress.



The quintessential Camera of Death group shot. An embarrassed man hides behind his hand, Mary Ellen Walton smiles and somebody realizes their shoe is filled with dog shit.



I'm pretty sure this hair is 100% acrylic. Must remember to ask John Boy.



Yes, I agree. A full beard would help tremendously.



I really think AIM should start testing for gum disease.



Eenie, meenie, minie...No.



This image exhibits utter desperation. It's like the world's worst sex slave sale with the three of them begging to be picked.



How hard can it be to synchronize a kiss?



This is like a Before and After promo shot for depilation. "Unwanted hair slowing your progress through the smog? Use my patented 'Work permit & Grooming Kit' for outstandingly smooth results"



Meeting invisible people and shaking their hands doesn't count.



Cynics who predict porn is in trouble certainly haven't cast their eyes on these beauties.



Throwing simple math equations at them is always funny.



Aside from wearing comedy elf ears under her hair, she's way too hot to be at this gig.



She'd better be calling 911 to report a crime against fashion.



And you're a porn star? Who's your agent? Ray Charles?



Amazing as it seems, no one began masturbating publicly. I doubt I could've contained myself.



Nautica's freakishly long fingers opened the door to a career as a pianist. Sadly, her spelling let her down and she wrote "penist" on her application form.



The evening's prize for Most out of Place Couple goes to....



The look on your face tells me you regret having shit tats which ruin any attempt at formal wear.



Who doesn't love a song from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers?

Wearing African death masks is apparently a new fashion trend in porn.



No, no, turn the whole way around and keep walking.



I can't put into words just how jealous I am of Tee Reel. I love Gwen. She always takes things on the chin.



Livin' the dream, James. Livin' the dream.



If you haven't worn a dress in a while, it's a good idea to try it on before The Big Night. When the stores are still open.



It's almost as though they subconsciously lined up in order of strokeworthiness.



I think this is called 'too little too late'



She doesn't list it on her resume, but her ability to fart TV themes is second to none.



No one else around, a flight of stone stairs and Luke's able to fight the urge to kick her down them? That's self control.



"And this is my cum face!"



Yes, you still have a septum. Well done.



The shy, nocturnal Mullen left its burrow for the evening, while his date seems unsure of just who Luke is....



"Yeah, hang off me baby. Make the lonely Jewish man sob when he gets home to his hovel. Alone."



"Oh, hey! Luke! Didn't see you there, buddy!"



Out of shot, Jeff's foot is experiencing the treatment his balls will get if his hand gets any higher.



Luke should never have asked her what her name was. That was just cruel.

Who is this fellow with Derek, and why are his ears and hands white while his face is dark orange?

Yet another masterpiece. All in a day's work for Conky.

I'm deeply concerned that doing this on the Sabbath leaves me open to eternal damnation. Thankfully I lead an otherwise spiritual and holy life.

Apart from the whole thing about exploiting whores all day, of course.

Can we come up with a name for these same batch of busted harlots that seem to be @ every shindig that Dr. Luke appears @?

Camera of Death Crew?
Busted Babes of LIB?
Ford's Fractured Females?

After being away from industry functions for about 6 months, and observing, from afar, the cruelty of Luke's COD, I am myself a little terrified of showing up to the FAME awards and being subject to these threads myself. Perhaps Luke will remember the good times and take it upon himself to edit out the horrible pictures of me he is bound to take. If he does, there will be some soy tomato basil soup in it for him. Consider it Luke, please.

The girl in the sparkly blue dress with Jeff Mullen is the new SexZ pictures girl, Paulina James. She's looking a bit orange for a girl who naturally has such gorgeous olive skin.

I'm wondering who the girl in the teal top in the picture of 4 girls is. She has straight long dark hair. She's not that bad...

I don't know if I should miss the days before the "camera of death"; when I could still dream about the glitz and glamour of porn... and if I hadn't met some of the women in porn - some of them actually are like purebred racing horses, except, they are bred for sex - I would by now be convinced that all is lost in porn.

I guarantee that a random lineup of individuals from the Ralph’s store on Sunset in Hollywood (unique for its bizarre mix of b-movie extras, aging hippie and flower children and aspiring actresses/models) would be less painful and more glamorous to look at then this selection. But where are pics of other attendees, like Hillary Scott?

Luke Ford: showing you the underbelly of porn. Now in photographic form!

her-his

name is Edson da Silva he was a former brazilian soccer player turned a pornstar....Nachoooo! raw meat for you

Another must attend award show.

More proof that the adult industry is dead.

The only person who needs to keep attending these awesome shindigs is Luke.