Dear Abby,
I'm a recent newlywed and things have been going just swell between me and my husband up until now...in fact, you could say that the honeymoon is well and truly over.
I'm not a squeamish girl by any means, hell, some of the stuff I've done would probably turn your hair blue. We're talking gangbangs, throatfucking, mouthfisting...one time I even made an omelette out of semen and fed it to some chick...so it's fair to say I'm pretty open-minded sexually.
However, recently my husband has started to put pressure on me to do things I am not entirely comfortable with. He watches a lot of alt.porn, and I think it's starting to affect our sex life. He's no longer satisfied with vigorously pounding my ass or throatfucking me into unconsciousness due to lack of oxygen, but instead seems obsessed with fulfilling the perverted fantasies this alt.porn has given him.
It started out small at first...little things like encouraging me to dress all in black and as mannishly as possible, but it soon spiralled out of control. He even went as far as to uninstall the spellchecker from our home computer, and threatened to beat me if I didn't write out the grocery list in 'alt.speak'...I can't tell you how pitiful and embarrassed I feel having to purposely misspell words like 'karets','apelz', and 'bredd' so that he and his new alt crowd will think I'm 'kewl'.
Last night our relationship reached crisis point when he suggested to me that I dress up like Eon McKai and fuck him in the ass with a strapon. I love my husband dearly and want to make him happy, but dressing up like a fat,Hot Topic emo-makeover version of Jack Osbourne is a bridge too far.
I'm don't know what to do and I need help...if I'm forced to sit through another Dana DeArmond scene I fear I may take my own life. Please help me, Abby!
Love,
Ori
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