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#247966 - 05/30/07 12:08 AM
The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Kurt Lackwood's Fluffer
Registered: 01/09/06
Posts: 1248
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Many of you have insinuated having girlfriends and/or wives, sometimes using endearing nicknames in correlation your username such as Mrs. Conky, the Queen, etc.. I am very curious and skeptical about the existence of a lady who falls for an XPT degenerate. Please answer some or all of my questions and please feel free to include more details than she would approve of. You can consider it karma in retaliation to all the times you've inquired too deeply about a porn whore's emotional demons simply to prolong her strokevalue.
How did you meet? How long have you been together? Does she like porn? Does she like the porn you watch? What are her hobbies? Do you hit her? Are you in love? Does she wear your letterman jacket? Do you kiss in public? Does she know about your secret life as a cyber asshole? What nicknames does she call you? Do you cheat on her? What kind of things do you try to talk her into doing in bed? How often does she give in? Has she ever seen you cry? Do you plan to make babies? Has she ever read XPT? Does she do anal?
Let me know, thanks.
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#247967 - 05/30/07 12:25 AM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 705
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you are fucking retarded, and i ensared my current girlfriend through the usual alcohol and fine dining establishments, i also used my telephone as a media recording device and captured me peeing on her in the shower, but such is life as a young 20 something in this circus we call modern dating.
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#247968 - 05/30/07 12:28 AM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 04/02/07
Posts: 705
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god the more i re read that post the more credit i have to give you, does she read xpt, no, god and i forgot the rest of your interesting questions i was totally gonna answer them,but being an alcoholic is serious biz, ducy?
kiss in public, i try to avoid it, anal yes but it kind of grosses me out so i havent done it more then 3 times, and finally no she has no clue what kind of cyber degen she is dating
Edited by ranathan (05/30/07 12:33 AM)
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#247969 - 05/30/07 07:55 AM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Human Garbage
Registered: 05/08/07
Posts: 1681
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Interesting questions, for the most part. Sorry, can't answer them. There's only one whore I won't discuss on this board, and that whore is my wife lol.
_________________________
There's not a woman alive who has not wanted to be treated like a whore. It's in their genes.
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#247971 - 05/30/07 12:28 PM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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Met through friends. Since you were in 2nd grade. No, no, too many to name. No, yes, no, yes, no. No nicknames, no, spit(hers) as lube, never. Yes, already done and no more, no, once in a blue moon.
Show us your tits.
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#247973 - 05/30/07 12:54 PM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 05/18/06
Posts: 3555
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first day of ninth grade; graduated valedictorian and salutatorian of our class (yes, scary.) married ten years next month, together thirteen. doesn't like porn anymore. when he did, we liked the same shit. likes to do lawn stuff. we've hit each other; bit part of his cheek off once. usually. no jacket. not much pda. doesn't know i post here. my nickname is "mama". used to swing but no official cheating. wanted him to pierce my clit; wouldn't. cry: yes. have three babies. doesn't read xpt. fucks me in the ass on occasion, not lately.
_________________________
"I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend deep frying the fuck out of anything that gets in my way."
--Handful
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#247974 - 05/30/07 01:20 PM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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[quote
This is Gia's friend E. We dated when we first met but she's more the friend type to me.
At a party./went out for 2 months. Known each other 3 years/ we both had meatholes.com memberships way back./photography,surfing, bjj, movies/annoying sometimes but never drove me to hit her./I don't get her internet obsession here or anywhere./lettermens jacket? What is this. Happy Days?/ she's sometimes into pda I'm not at all/I call her Gia sometimes/ we got a female slave once so no need to cheat./neither of us are the crying type/we don't want kids and she's not Jewish/I'm not seeing the fascination with this place and too busy/anal sex once.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#247975 - 05/30/07 01:52 PM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Whoremaster
Registered: 07/23/04
Posts: 2723
Loc: A very dark inner place, join ...
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At her job. 7 years. Yes. Yes. Disc Golf, gaming and arobics. No. Yes. Have no idea where that jacket is. Yes. Question wording makes it difficult to answer. No answer. No. Too much to list. Often. No. No. Yes. Yes. Ok now what do we win? 
_________________________
'' Women are not people, they are devices built by our Lord Jesus Christ for our entertainment.'' Peter Griffin
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#247976 - 05/30/07 01:54 PM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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Bar. Over a decade. No, but she realizes it pays the bills and was here before she was. I make more than I watch, but she has no interest in it unless she can spend it. Many hobbies of a financially crippling nature, usually involving diamonds. No. Sometimes. Letterman jacked is dust. Yes. Yes. No nickname. A gentleman wouldn't discuss indiscretions. Not much. It's not a case of giving in, it's a case of responding. Yes, no, no, yes.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#247977 - 05/30/07 04:58 PM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/14/06
Posts: 14755
Loc: Busy downloading [LEGALLY!]
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I haven't dated during your lifetime ... I didn't take the ending of relationships well, so I "retired".
But, when I did, all of my girlfriends knew I liked porn [which at the time consisted of mainly of magazines, super-8 silents and going to the "porno theatre" - though my dad had an early VCR]. I actually got most of them to go to the theatres to see their first pornos - which was an achievement since those places were disgusting!!
The only bad event was when a guilt-ridden Irish Catholic GF threw up during "Ecstasy Girls".
The oddest nickname I had was from a black GF who called me "boo". BTW, she just LOVED the John Leslie scene in "Sexworld".
_________________________
Amo i Gemelli!! 
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#247980 - 05/31/07 03:59 PM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 05/01/06
Posts: 502
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How did you meet? College
How long have you been together? 12 years
Does she like porn? Yup, but the kind she REALLY likes is kinda hard to come by
Does she like the porn you watch? Yup
What are her hobbies? When she's not tied to our bed? Serving me domestically.
Do you hit her? All the time; but only when we are doing a "scene"
Are you in love? Absofuckinglutely
Does she wear your letterman jacket? Nope, but she wears my collar.
Do you kiss in public? Yup
Does she know about your secret life as a cyber asshole? Trick question FTL
What nicknames does she call you? Master, Sir
Do you cheat on her? Nope, never..ever since we've been married, the only other women I've dicked have been in her presence, usually with her participation and ALWAYS of her choosing. She gets off of watching me seduce women at clubs to go home with us, however.....turns her on.
What kind of things do you try to talk her into doing in bed? Nothing anymore, she does what I ask whenever I ask, not always in the bed.
How often does she give in? Always, without question. Wasn't always this way, took awhile to tame her rather stubborn nature.
Has she ever seen you cry? Yup
Do you plan to make babies? Have 2 already
Has she ever read XPT? Yup, thinks it's a cesspool of wankers and washed up porn whores mainly
Does she do anal? Yup
_________________________
Darrah Ford's family video archives - Father's Day, 1996:
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#247982 - 06/01/07 12:18 AM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Internet Tough Guy
Registered: 04/03/07
Posts: 786
Loc: on the dark side of the moon
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This is what pillow talk after an orgy must sound like. Too bad I missed the actual orgy.
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#247983 - 06/01/07 03:19 AM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Gay For Pay
Registered: 02/02/06
Posts: 911
Loc: cobra on my left, leopard on m...
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How did you meet? I stole her from my little brother.
How long have you been together? 6 months.
Does she like porn? Very much.
Does she like the porn you watch? I like gangbangs. She likes the Shane's World College Invasion stuff.
What are her hobbies? Masturbating and smoking.
Do you hit her? Every night.
Are you in love? Very much.
Does she wear your letterman jacket? What's that?
Do you kiss in public? Often.
Does she know about your secret life as a cyber asshole? Yes. I'm an asshole in real life too.
What nicknames does she call you? Usually "Midget", but I keep trying to get her to call me "The Boss".
Do you cheat on her? Only when she's part of the action.
What kind of things do you try to talk her into doing in bed? I'm still trying to get her to let me piss on her.
How often does she give in? Everything so far.
Has she ever seen you cry? Once.
Do you plan to make babies? Not a chance.
Has she ever read XPT? I read it outloud to her when I think I wrote something clever, and she fake-laughs for me.
Does she do anal? Never.
_________________________
"We had part of a Slinky - but I straightened it."
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#247985 - 06/01/07 11:31 AM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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There is no woman here, which at times explains the angry, miserable existance that is my life.
Others, however, I rejoice. 
Quote:
all you know my wife
shes the mother of a xtp'er
Incest, El Gloryhole?
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#247986 - 06/01/07 08:15 PM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 07/06/05
Posts: 591
Loc: South of Heaven
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i usually just bang hookers off of craigslist or local meth addicted teen agers off of myspace.
_________________________
that's hot- paris hilton
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#247987 - 06/05/07 02:37 AM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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I've been very clear since day one....I am NOT Married (someone will have to get me pregnant first) and I do not have a current girlfriend.....I have MANY girl 'friends' who are, for a price, "girlfriend-esque" ....
I generally dont consider any woman a girlfriend unless I am paying a minimum of 1500 bucks an hour (averaged over a long weekend)....otherwise she is just there to wheel me around, laugh at my jokes, massage my muscular shoulders, enjoy my fucking awesome cooking skills...and when the mood hits me, to drop to her knees, open her mouth and hold still for about 11 minutes and 26 seconds, give or take...:bananamoreinnuendo:
Noted to add: I consider Ceara a "bona fide" girl FRIEND, and I would never in a zillion years ever jerk off into her mouth unless she had some kind of cancer or a note from God saying this was neccessary...she's just too funny and smart and cool to lose over a blast to the mouth, even if she played with it before swallowing....
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#247990 - 06/06/07 04:20 AM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
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You got me all screwed up So much i can't turn 'round And i've been running about with some funny girls I'm not so tough, But if you let me down (i'll tell ya) I'd give you just one day to explain I'd like to know if there's somebody else in this game Say it isn't so, tell me i'm the only one Say it isn't so, without you i can't go on How was i to know, if you keep me guessing i don't understand I can't sleep at night I keep on dreaming you're gone I'm staring into a space that was filled by your face Facing the day, A face in the crowd I'm sure i saw you just a moment ago There must be something you don't want me to know Say it isn't so, tell me i'm the only one Say it isn't so, without you i can't go on How was i to know, if you keep me guessing i don't understand There's something wrong, suspicion's getting stronger Don't know if i can stand this pain much longer You play around but i see right through you It's lonely on the streets when it's just one a.m. See a lot of pretty girls passing by I'm walking in the midnight sun once again, And now i know why love is so blind, Cuz when you're out of my sight, I'm out of your mind, Say it isn't so, tell me i'm the only one Say it isn't so, without you i can't go on How was i to know, if you keep me guessing i don't understand 
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
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#247992 - 03/05/09 06:55 PM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Bukkake Boy
Registered: 04/15/08
Posts: 741
Loc: The Great White Frozen Fucking...
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How did you meet? At a BDSM fetish night.
How long have you been together? A decade now.
Does she like porn? Christ yes.
Does she like the porn you watch? Some of it.
What are her hobbies? TV Shows, going to the gym. Adopting little orphans and crushing grown male ego's under her heel.
Do you hit her? Only when she's horny and properly restrained.
Are you in love? Love's barely an inch from murder... so yeah, I guess we're both in love.
Does she wear your letterman jacket? No.
Do you kiss in public? Yes.
Does she know about your secret life as a cyber asshole? Yes, and she's a better cyber asshole than I am.
What nicknames does she call you? None that I'm willing to share on this forum.
Do you cheat on her? No. I'd tell her if I was going to fuck someone. She'd tell me to film it so she could critique it later.
What kind of things do you try to talk her into doing in bed? Letting me quit my job. Getting us a live in slavegirl.
How often does she give in? Not once so far.
Has she ever seen you cry? Yes.
Do you plan to make babies? Yes.
Has she ever read XPT? She finds us boring, so no.
Does she do anal? Yup.
_________________________
'She looks like Brock Lesnar.' - The Tatty Patty.
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#247993 - 03/06/09 08:42 AM
Re: The woman behind the man behind the keyboard
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 03/29/08
Posts: 1991
Loc: colorado
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lol @fenris the part in bold  right? Quote:
How did you meet? At a BDSM fetish night.
How long have you been together? A decade now.
Does she like porn? Christ yes.
Does she like the porn you watch? Some of it.
What are her hobbies? TV Shows, going to the gym. Adopting little orphans and crushing grown male ego's under her heel.
Do you hit her? Only when she's horny and properly restrained.
Are you in love? Love's barely an inch from murder... so yeah, I guess we're both in love.
Does she wear your letterman jacket? No.
Do you kiss in public? Yes.
Does she know about your secret life as a cyber asshole? Yes, and she's a better cyber asshole than I am.
What nicknames does she call you? None that I'm willing to share on this forum.
Do you cheat on her? No. I'd tell her if I was going to fuck someone. She'd tell me to film it so she could critique it later.
What kind of things do you try to talk her into doing in bed? Letting me quit my job. Getting us a live in slavegirl.
How often does she give in? Not once so far.
Has she ever seen you cry? Yes.
Do you plan to make babies? Yes.
Has she ever read XPT? She finds us boring, so no.
Does she do anal? Yup.
Has she ever read XPT? She finds us boring, so no.
_________________________
"Should send her our way, XPT could REALLY get her warmed up for any kind of abuse she might get later. "- nugent
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