I hate Luke's new album style. All this uploading pics here really blows. But we persevere.

Stinky Winkie realizes that staring into the Camera of Death is indeed like looking down the barrels of a 12 gauge.



Gia provided the music for the evening, a compilation CD of featuring the sound of children being stung by insects. She knew the Alt crowd would be up and dancing to that within minutes.



As suggested, Gia had doped herself up on tranqs in case she flew into one of her famous Turtle Neck Rages.



When normal people sunbathe, they use a reflector or mirror to pump light onto their faces. Alt chicks use black plastic so their skin stays pasty white.



If you want the Alt budget, you've got to beg with your ass.



The Hair Club for Men is currently recruiting in your area!



Despite his best efforts, Winkie couldn't make it look like anyone was waiting in line.....



In 10 years time, look out for this man in this pose on the gold-covered sidewalks of Chatsworth.



The problem with this much ink is that no matter how expensive your dress, it'll still look shit.




Hiding her face in shame, Luke catches an Alt porner with a sun tan.



Since most fans of Alt porn are around 13 years old, it's hardly surprising she isn't fighting off potential suitors with a shitty stick.



"The only thing dark about me is my roots"



Spit that out! You should know that Alt porners don't eat food. Ever. They get all of their nourishment from the bitterness in their hearts. And French poetry.



The 'Bring Your Own Pixie' idea was a winner. Particularly if your pixie happened to be one Sting rescued from the Amazon....

Silent, but deadly



A mouth this small can only mean one thing: Asian-friendly woman.



Mia's special message to her detractors. Or is she just waving at Luke?



The carnival mirrors proved a huge hit.



"You mean you hate Alt porn too? No shit! I think it sucks ass!"



Cake decorations stuck to her face, bad wig, too much blue eye make up. Someone's mom still lets her play dress up.



When Gia took this man to bed last night, he was a virile 25 year old.



Ava suggests that Peter might not be the genital titan we'd like to think he is....



Jesus fucking Christ. You just know this guy has to be insanely good at his job. I think it's also fair to say that Paul Fishbein, real age 153, has a painting of Peter in his attic.

It's Alt Porn!, Alt Porn!, party time, excellent! "Party on, Dane." "Party on, Garth."



I told you that clown college was a bad idea.


Luke had a twinkie dangling in front of his Camera.

Gia's hair looks amazing. I think that picture of Kimberly Kane is pretty even with black roots.

I thought whores weren't supposed to wear the same dress.

I had no idea anyone else was gonna wear grey. I got mine from a kid's shop...heh.

dana dearmond

Fat FAT fuck, lay off the Cocoa Puffs and Big Bufords....he actually resembles Robert Redford's love child from 1971 with that actress who swallowed a bottle of Seconal with some Jim beam and never woke up, what's her name....

Wow what a crowd. Only the biggest and brightest stars where in attendance.

You guys are clueless. He's got that Tao of Steve thing going.