Quote:

Yesterday I began drinking arounde noon. I blacked out early on but I remember crying and being extremely angry. Apparently I made several alarming phonecalls to my roomate who was at work at that time. She was concerned enough to lewave work early and come home. This is what she found: Me, nude, passed out face down on the livingroom floor, in a puddle of my own urine, my stereo smashed, several cds broken to shards including the titles 'Mahler, Symphony No. 9, Leonard Bernstein Conducts the Berlin Philharmonic' and 'Tom Waits' Nighthawks at the Diner'. She angrily sent me off to my bedroom and spent nearly an hour cleaning up after me, scrubbing piss out of the carpet. She has left for work again this morn. She left me a Sticky Note on this computer which listed the griervences and their monetary value. She also recommended AA/institutionalization. This is the person I truly am.

Love,
Travis




What you are describing sounds like advanced stages of serious alcoholism and it's vital that you seek help and support as soon as possible.

What seems to work best in most cases is a combination of therapy and AA. If you are not religious, there are certain AA meetings that approach it in a non-denominational manner.

Remaining isolated and relying on one person (your roommate) is not enough. I don't mean to sound preachy, but it sounds like you are dealing with some really difficult issues.

A good sponsor can make a big difference.