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Sounds like a double blind trial is in order. Who should collect the metrics? 
Max Hardcore seems like an appropriate choice. 
"Max Hardcore's Rent is Due!"
Retarded monkeys are now busily banging away at castoff typewriters!
A phone bank has been established, and they are busily calling vendors of colored vinyl furniture!
Bus stops are being patrolled, and ticketless, crying young women are being asked at 3 a.m. if they would like some assistance!
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"My people (the real Americans- descended from the original Angle-Saxon pioneers)"-Coke S.
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