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#233945 - 04/04/07 12:38 PM
If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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What categories would you like to see? I'm sure I heard about similar threads on AZT, sorry, ADT, but this would obviously have to be the anti-matter version.
This kind of springboards from my Dumbest Whore in Porn thread. So yes, I'd like to see a Dumbest Whore annual award. But what else?
1. Dumbest Whore in Porn
2. Douchebag of the Year
3. Jizz Rag of the Year (females only)
4. Porner Least Likely to Live Past Nomination
And so on...
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#233946 - 04/04/07 12:42 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Demon Spawn
Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 3080
Loc: cleanup
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Worst Lie of the Year (The Katja Kassin memorial award -- Pornwhores Only)
Best OD at an Awards Show
Worst Luke Photo
_________________________
"When you're up to your ass in alligators, it's hard to remember that you set out to drain the swamp" -- HST
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#233947 - 04/04/07 12:44 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 3812
Loc: Neither here, nor there.
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Worst Boobjob of the Year
Worst Boobjob Hall-of-Fame
Hottest Whore With Cancer
_________________________
"You know this is XXXPornTalk.com right? You sound like an ADT person. I want to poop on you." -Malice
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#233948 - 04/04/07 12:45 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 10/04/06
Posts: 522
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Biggest internet tough guy - I nominate Raoul Dud
or
Worst ADT interloper - Again, I nominate Drool Duke
_________________________
Gigi, it's like you're putting a rainbow in all of our hearts...  - faggypatty
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#233949 - 04/04/07 12:46 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Human Garbage
Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 1557
Loc: New York
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Best Porn Star Escort. (A category where its OK for the nominees to blow the judges)
_________________________
"This thing is ready to do damage!"
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#233950 - 04/04/07 12:48 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 10/30/06
Posts: 3812
Loc: Neither here, nor there.
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Best Alt-Id
Worst Alt-Id
Most Likely To Burn Out Than To Fade Away
_________________________
"You know this is XXXPornTalk.com right? You sound like an ADT person. I want to poop on you." -Malice
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#233951 - 04/04/07 12:48 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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i nominate "barack obama loves idealistic-interns" for best-interracial series
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#233953 - 04/04/07 12:55 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Demon Spawn
Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 3080
Loc: cleanup
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Boringest alt-id: Paperclip
Dumbest alt-id: Paperclip
Most self repetative alt-id: Paperclip
_________________________
"When you're up to your ass in alligators, it's hard to remember that you set out to drain the swamp" -- HST
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#233954 - 04/04/07 12:58 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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Now, now, let's stick to hating the porners in this thread please.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#233955 - 04/04/07 01:01 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
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A) Scariest whore without makeup
B) HoF: Best Blow-out Award (in reference to whores who've had too much anal sex)
C) Pamela Peaks Least Likely to Achieve Award
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
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#233956 - 04/04/07 01:06 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 01/19/07
Posts: 465
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Most over the top Fan Boy
Most anorexic whore
Fayner Award - "Biggest Crackhead Meat stick"
Biggest Flake of the Year
_________________________
Sharon Mitchell said. "This is a population, you tell them to do something, and they won't do anything."We're not in the real world, we're in the world of porn."
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#233957 - 04/04/07 01:08 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/06
Posts: 6557
Loc: 2004 - the glory days
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In honor of the cumipicac thread
Best negative reaction to a facial/swallow
The award will be in the form of a framed 8x10 screencap that captures the moment best.
_________________________
"You are the worst poster in xpt yet I can't stop talking about you" - smelly monkey
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#233960 - 04/04/07 02:01 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 07/30/06
Posts: 1712
Loc: at the end of the longest line
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How about an award for the person in the industry(whore, producer, director, suitcase pimp) who has done the best/worst job making the industry look even worse than it already is in some sort of Prime time news show expose?
Edited by MoronBoy (04/04/07 02:03 PM)
_________________________
Twitter.com/degraderzim
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#233961 - 04/04/07 02:10 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Worst Tattoo
Most Shameless Cash-In On A Mainstream Movie Title
Worst Drug-Assisted Weight Loss
Suitcase Pimp Of The Year
Ugliest Beast In Porn
Worst Cum Dodger
Most Misleading Boxcover
Biggest Lie
Most Shot Out
Least Convincing Tranny
Worst Press Release
Laughing Stock Of Porn
Most Creepy ADT Fanboy
Laziest Porn Blogger
Best Meltdown
Drama Queen Of The Year
Most Disturbing Picture Of The Year
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#233963 - 04/04/07 02:34 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 11/14/04
Posts: 1460
Loc: Down there
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Quote:
What categories would you like to see? I'm sure I heard about similar threads on AZT, sorry, ADT, but this would obviously have to be the anti-matter version.
This kind of springboards from my Dumbest Whore in Porn thread. So yes, I'd like to see a Dumbest Whore annual award. But what else?
1. Dumbest Whore in Porn
2. Douchebag of the Year
3. Jizz Rag of the Year (females only)
4. Porner Least Likely to Live Past Nomination
And so on...
Consider them launched. You're in charge. This will be funnier than AC Cream's tarheel blue shoes.
The Kurt Lackwood In-Denial Faggot Award
Best Donkey Punch
Most Likely to Get Gonorrhea Of The Eye
The Best Nick Manning "Droppin' Fuckin' Loads" scene
_________________________
I like me some Gia'd Jerkins.
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#233964 - 04/04/07 02:40 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 05/18/06
Posts: 3555
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sunny lane's parents deserve an award for...something. i'm not sure what, "best suitcase pimprents", maybe? and how 'bout "most existential whore"? and let's not forget "yeastiest cunt."
_________________________
"I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend deep frying the fuck out of anything that gets in my way."
--Handful
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#233965 - 04/04/07 02:43 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 07/30/06
Posts: 1712
Loc: at the end of the longest line
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Most Pretenious Fuck-Flick Award
_________________________
Twitter.com/degraderzim
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#233967 - 04/04/07 03:49 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Chronic Masturbator
Registered: 05/06/05
Posts: 1946
Loc: Outer Space
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How about "worst-dressed" pornstar? I can think of a few contenders for that one.
_________________________
I really try to retain a respectful distance from my models, even when I'm lubing up their pussies.
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#233968 - 04/04/07 04:00 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
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I don't know if we would have enough room on the board for nominations for Worst Dressed Porner. We may suffer a bandwidth failure.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
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#233969 - 04/04/07 04:05 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Sex Slave Trader
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 1342
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Pornstar most likely to send Holly off the wagon after a traumatic photo shoot.
_________________________
"Bornyo sleeps under a bearskin that he killed and skinned when he was 5. He just stared the thing dead with mind bullets." - Floofin
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#233972 - 04/04/07 08:39 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/07
Posts: 5186
Loc: Joshua Tree National Park
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Ego of the year
Best inanimate object stuck in someone's ass (this would be open to male and female, no reason to discriminate against Lockwood)
addiction of the year
eating disorder of the year
verbal and physical catfights of the year
Pamela Peaks lifetime achievement in genetic modification award
business rip off of the year (otherwise known as the Martin Del Torro award)
the tempting fate HIV high risk behavior of the year
_________________________
I would eat Allie Sin's asshole until I got an emotion out of her.-Jerkules
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#233974 - 04/04/07 10:43 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Elder of Zion
Porn Jesus
Registered: 05/06/04
Posts: 5213
Loc: watching Bad Ronald
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Poster most self-impressed with their education.
Best use of Ryan Knoxx as a punching bag.
Most disgusting photo posted.
The "Girls of Tony Malice's Office" lifetime achievement award.
Best use of graemlins.
Most surreal post. a.written b. image
Schill of the year./ Shameless self-promoter of the year. (trophy is a bust of Brandon Iron)
A tribute segment to honor those who've left us in the past year. (think Bishop, not Chet)
Poster who is the best reason for an "Ignore" feature.
_________________________
I really wanted to go to that Bukake because I thought for sure that you were going to be on the receiving end. - Ryan Knox to Jeff Steward
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#233975 - 04/05/07 01:35 AM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
Poster most self-impressed with their education.
Best use of Ryan Knoxx as a punching bag.
Most disgusting photo posted.
The "Girls of Tony Malice's Office" lifetime achievement award.
Best use of graemlins.
Most surreal post. a.written b. image
Schill of the year./ Shameless self-promoter of the year. (trophy is a bust of Brandon Iron)
A tribute segment to honor those who've left us in the past year. (think Bishop, not Chet)
Poster who is the best reason for an "Ignore" feature.
I was just about to post and ask for ideas of what the trophies should look like...rather than a dull lucite/lexite block, or a tacky plate on what looks like a heart-shaped wooden chopping board, we need something with serious comedy value.
Thus, I was thinking something like this> 
Let's be honest here...you can't have an XPT Awards without a masturbating banana, it's just not cricket.
Cast in some sort of cheap plastic material and set on a nice wooden base, it would take pride of place on any porner's shelf.
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#233977 - 04/06/07 12:09 AM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Porn Icon
Registered: 02/04/05
Posts: 3499
Loc: The Dirty: 480
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Quote:
We would need two categories:
Porn Critique
XPT Poster Critique
That's a good observation. I thought Faceblaster's list nailed the XPT categories, it's freakin' hilarious. 
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#233978 - 04/06/07 04:10 AM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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Most Delusional Whore
Porn Hanger-On-er of the Year
Most Disease Riddled (must be lifestyle related)
Least Articulate Whore
Worst Porn Career Move of the Year
Most Shot Out
Strongest Pimphand (best agent)
Best Casting Couch (the Regan Senter Award)
Worst Hair Award
Best Catfight
Most Spoiled Porn Pooch
Unhung Swordsman Award (Weakest Woodsman)
Most Likely to be Incarcerated
Most Fraudulent Company
Best Fake Cancer
Brokest Ho of the Year
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#233979 - 04/06/07 05:26 AM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Porn Fucking Master
Registered: 09/19/05
Posts: 3576
Loc: Baltimore, MD
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Gia Jordan has given us the definitive list of awards.  I recommend TMFR for most likely to be incarcerated (again) and Jewel DeNyle and DeBella for catfight of the year.  Most fraudulent company is a tie between Derek Hay and anything involving Shy Love. Scott Fayner is a good candidate for the Hanger-On award since he posted here that he was leaving porn, yet apparently still hangs around TMFR. Sasha Grey seems to be well on her way to the Most Shot Out award, and Worst Career Move might go to Skirt Lackwood for his hissyfit with Gram Ponante.
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#233980 - 04/06/07 05:30 AM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Registered Sex Offender
Registered: 03/12/03
Posts: 2458
Loc: I'm the fucker behind the curt...
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Quote:
Least Articulate Whore
aka The Jondra Award
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#233985 - 04/07/07 08:02 AM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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Best female impersonation by a female
BEST ALL CAPS RANT!!!!
Most pathetic meltdown
Most closeted homo award
Best XPT Chat award
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#233986 - 04/07/07 09:27 AM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
Best female impersonation by a female
BEST ALL CAPS RANT!!!!
Most pathetic meltdown
Most closeted homo award
Best XPT Chat award
This one has to be in there... 
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#233988 - 04/07/07 12:15 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 04/17/04
Posts: 6005
Loc: travieso capital management an...
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smaller than max hardcore's? longshot's?
it's hilarious that those two men seem to feel no shame about being naked when our newest poster jehova cursed them with baby-penises.
_________________________
"She has no waist, no arse...an interesting face...but all we are really worshipping is two bags of silicone"
Martin Amis "honoring" katie price with a character bearing some of her traits
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#233989 - 04/07/07 12:32 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Ed Hardy Wearing Loser
Registered: 03/27/07
Posts: 46
Loc: Gary, IN
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Hey, it matches their personalities.
_________________________
Thirty Three Hundred Years since the Ten Comandments and you people are still fucking it up.
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#233990 - 04/08/07 06:06 PM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 03/11/07
Posts: 451
Loc: Houston
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#233991 - 04/09/07 04:08 AM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/07/05
Posts: 14160
Loc: NYC
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Thanks, Houston Don, but I'd rather be the photographer and have some other girl handing out trophies. Of course, we can still invite Luke and other photogs to cover the event for their sites. Still not sure what the trophy should look like, though. Anything in the shape of will look like Mr. Potato Head. Not a good look.
_________________________
"What I do know is that if Karen Carpenter and Mama Cass Elliot had shared that sandwich they'd both be alive today." -Michael K
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#233992 - 04/09/07 04:17 AM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Demon Spawn
Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 3080
Loc: cleanup
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Luke's Trophy (for Most out-of-focus Pictures) should be a Camera with a Broken Lens. Unless we make them all uniform, in which case I vote for the Masturbating Banana. We can even call it "The Windsock", like the Oscar, The Emmy and the Grammy. I don't think it will loook like Mr. Potatohead. After all, It's slender, it's curved and it's yellow. But what do I know.
_________________________
"When you're up to your ass in alligators, it's hard to remember that you set out to drain the swamp" -- HST
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#233993 - 04/09/07 04:20 AM
Re: If XPT Launched its own Awards....
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Whoremaster
Registered: 10/21/05
Posts: 2710
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Quote:
Anything in the shape of will look like Mr. Potato Head. Not a good look.
Oddly enough, I have recently been wrestling with the urge to go and buy a Mr. Potato Head and stick the pieces in a banana to make a reasonable facsimile of this>
I am currently combating these ungodly urges through the medium of self-loathing and pushups, but who knows how long I can hold out?
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