19072 Members
14 Forums
40341 Topics
614095 Posts
Max Online: 788 @ 09/28/24 10:05 AM
|
|
|
#231207 - 03/25/07 09:31 AM
The problem with porn today
|
Bukkake Boy
Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 698
Loc: CA
|
OK, I've had it - again. After reviewing (ff'ing) hours and hours and hours of porn since stumbling into this business in 1999, I've come to the conclusion that today's porn completely sucks and here's why: 1. For the most part, the chicks that label themselves 'stars' and collect the big money are fucking nasty skanks who wouldn't get picked up in a bar at closing time. God, what I wouldn't give to see some hot looking bitch getting plowed and enjoying it! 2. There's WAY too much anal. Yea, anal. We've all seen it 100 million times - get the fuck over it. Sure, throw it in there with equal billing, but to fucking pound some skanks ass for the entire 40 minute scene is absolutely, positively, completely boring. Just to make sure I have your attention HEY, LAZY ASS DIRECTORS (and I use 'director' as a joke) who say "fuck man, my last anal flick sold 4 more units than that last blowjob video so I better knock out a few thousand more" STOP IT - enough already!!! 3. Pay for some fucking real music. I am so tired of hearing looped synthesizer music I can shit. 4. Features, stop using green screens when shooting and then adding in a totally fake digitally enhanced background you shot someplace like Tahiti. Fuck, we all need a way to write off our vacations, but rent a fucking set already or find a way to shoot on location without getting the talent and crew arrested. 5. All these 'award' shows are a joke. How about all these idiots that make money selling tickets to fixed award shows start being real to consumers. I propose that each 'award' organization make their picks and send it to some accountancy corp who tallies the vote. The shit with the most votes wins - period. There's only one award show and all the companies split the revenue *OR* they play poker for it, with winner takes all. 6.Hey idiot wholesaling product for $6 a unit - stop being such a god-damn poser. Just because (in your mind) you're 'big-time' it doesn't mean that you can really afford the lease payments on that $200,000+ car. Be real, like the rest of us in CA and buy a fucking car, but stop at the S class. It costs enough already. I'm actually tired of laughing at the idiots that sold one big movie go to the poor house.  
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#231208 - 03/25/07 10:15 AM
Re: The problem with porn today
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 10321
|
You had me right up til this paragraph, then it starts reading like a bitter jealous personal attack on a specific person. I think you should have named to whom you refer: Quote:
6.Hey idiot wholesaling product for $6 a unit - stop being such a god-damn poser. Just because (in your mind) you're 'big-time' it doesn't mean that you can really afford the lease payments on that $200,000+ car. Be real, like the rest of us in CA and buy a fucking car, but stop at the S class. It costs enough already. I'm actually tired of laughing at the idiots that sold one big movie go to the poor house.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#231209 - 03/25/07 10:59 AM
Re: The problem with porn today
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/02/05
Posts: 5750
Loc: ATLANTIC CITY
|
Quote:
You had me right up til this paragraph, then it starts reading like a bitter jealous personal attack on a specific person. I think you should have named to whom you refer:
Quote:
6.Hey idiot wholesaling product for $6 a unit - stop being such a god-damn poser. Just because (in your mind) you're 'big-time' it doesn't mean that you can really afford the lease payments on that $200,000+ car. Be real, like the rest of us in CA and buy a fucking car, but stop at the S class. It costs enough already. I'm actually tired of laughing at the idiots that sold one big movie go to the poor house.
I agree....that last paragraph, #6, is meaningless to us unless it is further explained or expounded upon.
But I do agree with the element of the paragraph focusing on "200,000 dollar cars." Anyone that asks me for advice or talks finance/money/lifestyle/investing with me, I always tell them this when it comes to cars: 'BUY SOMETHING NICE, CLASSY, DEPENDABLE AND PRACTICAL. FIND THE RIGHT BALANCE OF ALL THOSE QUALITIES, and then seek out the best, least costly deal you can find. But no matter what, DO NOT spend more than 100K on your vehicle, regardless of what your financial situation is or becomes...it is just fucking stupid to drive a car that typically sells for more than that, unless you built the thing yourself via restoration, or some other extenuating, exceptional circumstance. Besides, if you can afford a 200K car, look into using a driving/chauffeur service instead, it will free up a shit load of time in your life (you can get all kinds of work/stuff done while being driven around), it is generally safer, AND, if your goal is to try and visibly impress shallow people, getting driven around makes more of a statement-impression than driving a 150-200k financial sinkhole."
_________________________
Are you gonna eat that?
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#231210 - 03/25/07 12:56 PM
Re: The problem with porn today
|
Gay For Pay
Registered: 02/02/06
Posts: 911
Loc: cobra on my left, leopard on m...
|
Quote:
But I do agree with the element of the paragraph focusing on "200,000 dollar cars." Anyone that asks me for advice or talks finance/money/lifestyle/investing with me, I always tell them this when it comes to cars: 'BUY SOMETHING NICE, CLASSY, DEPENDABLE AND PRACTICAL. FIND THE RIGHT BALANCE OF ALL THOSE QUALITIES, and then seek out the best, least costly deal you can find. But no matter what, DO NOT spend more than 100K on your vehicle, regardless of what your financial situation is or becomes...it is just fucking stupid to drive a car that typically sells for more than that, unless you built the thing yourself via restoration, or some other extenuating, exceptional circumstance. Besides, if you can afford a 200K car, look into using a driving/chauffeur service instead, it will free up a shit load of time in your life (you can get all kinds of work/stuff done while being driven around), it is generally safer, AND, if your goal is to try and visibly impress shallow people, getting driven around makes more of a statement-impression than driving a 150-200k financial sinkhole."
I wouldn't go so far as to say that all porn completely sucks. But I think that modern pornography is suffering from the same syndrome that plagues mainstream cinema and television. Namely that content is being driven much more by economic considerations than creativity, or any standards of quality. In fact, I think a pretty good parallel can be drawn between the proliferation of gonzo and the explosion of "reality tv". Likewise, there are good mainstream movies being made... but most of them stick to a proven formula, and it's rare that Hollywood gambles with anything that might hurt them at the boxoffice ( ie. the dreaded R-rating. God forbid they make movies for fucking grown-ups! ).
But the environment is much more competitive now. In the golden age it was a few directors well funded by their local "Sanitation Co.". Now it's a million no-talent hacks with hi-def minicams... and every one of them has their own company. I can't even keep up with all the new "studios" that pop up every goddamn week! So while there's definitely been an increase in the quantity of porn being produced, there has been an understandble but unfortunate slide in quality. All the same... I can still get my rocks off watching Sasha Grey swallow 15 loads.
_________________________
"We had part of a Slinky - but I straightened it."
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#231211 - 03/25/07 01:04 PM
Re: The problem with porn today
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/12/05
Posts: 7322
Loc: The Children's Limbo
|
I'm surprised you didn't meantion lazyness and lack of creativity in you're rant. The real issue here is that the so-called porn directors aren't directors; their just horny guys with a camera.
_________________________
I hit her with the hammer on top of the head. She made a lot of noise and kept on making noise, so I hit her again.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#231212 - 03/25/07 01:11 PM
Re: The problem with porn today
|
AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 481
|
Quote:
it's rare that Hollywood gambles with anything that might hurt them at the boxoffice ( ie. the dreaded R-rating. God forbid they make movies for fucking grown-ups! ).
And yet two of the biggest surprise hits of the past few years have been "Wedding Crashers" and "300", both of which fought the studio to keep an 'R' rating. Eventually, money talks, so expect a slew of gratuitous 'R' movies, until the pendulum swings the other way.
ITA with the original points 1-5.
#2 - Preach it. When anal was something unusual and when the whore at least pretended that it was unusual/painful/dirty, it used to be an OK gimmick. But people have lost sight of the fact that the vagina is for fucking. If you want wall-to-wall anal, there is a genre for you that will provide it...
#3 At least the technology for the Casio synth loop has improved. 80s stuff is much worse, especially when the 3-second synth loop is played over the actual (fake) moaning, groaning, and glug-glugging. If you are going to write your own music, at least do a throwback 70s "boom-chucka-chucka" loop for old times sake.
_________________________
[The movie business] is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There is also a negative side. - Hunter S. Thompson
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#231214 - 03/25/07 01:56 PM
Re: The problem with porn today
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 11/04/06
Posts: 4203
Loc: Bakersfield Plumbing Supplies ...
|
I think one of the major problems is that the consumer is now the producer (and I think that phrase refers to a complex economic/philosophic problem whose origins escape me).
With cheap digital cameras came a plethora of 'photographers' who were suddenly 'content producers'. Within months, the market for quality content online went to shit, as webmasters figured a 2Megapixel camera, a skank and a garage with a mattress in it equaled content.
With cheap MiniDV cams came 'directors' who figured a cheap DV cam, a skank, a man with a boner and a garage with a mattress in it equaled a porn scene.
As Loopnode points out, they're just horny guys with a camera. And while this might seem like a sweeping statement, it has serious basis in truth. Male talent stepped behind the camera to give us porn they way they wanted to see it. Fanbois stepped behind the camera to give us porn they wanted to see.
Neither party necessarily produces porn that consumers actually want to see, which is why there are more misses than hits. And this is then perpetuated by sham awards shows which shower the favored director/producer of the hour with gongs. This in turn then insprires Joe Blow to pick his camera up and make a movie 'just like XXXX made'.
In a world where the consumer is the producer, your market choices become massively limited. It is now so cheap to produce gonzo versus porn films which, while they aren't features would at least have a higher production value, that the market virtually demands gonzo. Let me explain: if you throw together a gonzo flick that costs you X dollars to make and wholesale offers you 7 bucks a unit, you're going to take it. If you produce a gonzo/feature that costs XXX dollars to make, you're going to want more than 7 bucks a unit. What does the retailer want? Cheap flicks that won't stay on his shelves long.
We have brought this upon ourselves, both as porn consumers and producers. Quality will always win through in the long run, but it will take years to become apparent. In the meantime, the world and his brother picks up HD DV kit and steps up to the plate, pushing the violence envelope and hoping they'll find that winning niche without too much consideration as to what the consumer actually wants.
_________________________
I also am subcribe to postal pornography - CAOH
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#231215 - 03/25/07 02:15 PM
Re: The problem with porn today
|
ADT regular
Registered: 02/19/07
Posts: 12
|
Good points mentioned xvod. In general, i think there is an overproduction of porn films (or supposed to be)leading inevitably to the loss of quality.
The competition to make "an ever more extreme/gonzo film " ruins everything.Everything is worn out so fast.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#231217 - 03/25/07 02:52 PM
Re: The problem with porn today
|
Demon Spawn
Registered: 02/11/07
Posts: 3080
Loc: cleanup
|
I think there's a lot of truth in what Conky has to say about fanbois picking up cameras creating their own low-quality product and essentially instituting (for lack of a better term) the YouTubification of porn. True, this phenomenon does flood the shelves with cheap, low-grade McCrapporn that some will buy simply because it's cheap, others because it's there. But, ultimately, it's the consumers themselves that bear the responsibility here. If people didn't buy it, the retailers wouldn't order it, the distributers wouldn't pick it up and the Fanbois would be reduced to showing it to their friends. Or, at most, building a website and showing it there. If the consumers had sense enough to spend their hard-earned coin on better porn (and better mainstream, better food, etc.) instead of the crap that floods the market, the market wouldn't be flooded for long. But, As H.L. Menken said: Quote:
No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
_________________________
"When you're up to your ass in alligators, it's hard to remember that you set out to drain the swamp" -- HST
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#231218 - 03/25/07 02:56 PM
Re: The problem with porn today
|
Bukkake Boy
Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 698
Loc: CA
|
Quote:
You had me right up til this paragraph, then it starts reading like a bitter jealous personal attack on a specific person. I think you should have named to whom you refer.
Bitter - no, jealous - no.
I drive my ML or Vanden Plas perfectly fine and I'm not picking on anyone in particular. The minute some asshole driving a 76 pinto makes a few bucks on a shoot they think they are fucking Scorsese or something and that everything they 'direct' is going to go platinum.
Each and every one of the assholes roll off to the fuckin' import dealer and take the sales guys woodie up the ass with a car that is way too expensive for them.
The same shit goes for the 'talent.' They get fucked up the ass for a month or two and roll off to the dealer and lease a fuckin' porsche despite the fact that they may not even have a drivers license.
Three months later both of these dipshits are wondering if they can trade in the hot ride for something a little less excessive.
I'm sure they rationalize it by going 'everybody in Cali has a sweet ride, I need one too if I want to be a player.'
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#231219 - 03/25/07 03:07 PM
Re: The problem with porn today
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 03/22/06
Posts: 6557
Loc: 2004 - the glory days
|
I'm perfectly content with today's porn and the porn chicas. There is enough stuff out there, both product and female talent, that I can find what ever I'm looking for at the moment. Luckily, I don't review porn or work in porn so I'm not forced to watch shit I don't like. xvod you need a break bro, summer holiday, some sun and fresh air away from the office, rejuvenate.
_________________________
"You are the worst poster in xpt yet I can't stop talking about you" - smelly monkey
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#231220 - 03/25/07 04:03 PM
Re: The problem with porn today
|
Bukkake Boy
Registered: 01/02/04
Posts: 698
Loc: CA
|
Quote:
I'm perfectly content with today's porn and the porn chicas. There is enough stuff out there, both product and female talent, that I can find what ever I'm looking for at the moment. Luckily, I don't review porn or work in porn so I'm not forced to watch shit I don't like. xvod you need a break bro, summer holiday, some sun and fresh air away from the office, rejuvenate.
Summer break.... yes. Name me who you think the 10 hottest chicks in porn are right now.
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#231221 - 03/25/07 04:10 PM
Re: The problem with porn today
|
AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 481
|
While I love to bemoan the current state of porn, it is also useful to keep things in perspective. Any so-called "golden age" is largely elusive.
The 70s had some pretty scary talent, poorly shot, and, of course, the giant hairy bush threatening to poke out the eyes of anyone brave enough to explore it.
The 80s, often hailed as the actual Golden Age, had a very thin talent pool with it's share of blissfully forgotten bottom-feeders as well as Sharon Mitchell. Also, the peak of the "bad synth loop" soundtrack, mated with the "bad video loop" wherein a 10-minute scene could consist of the same 5-second clip run over and over and over, only slightly out-of-sync with the soundtrack. Also, the camera work was generally atrocious. Male talent was featured in their sweaty, O-faced glory for huge chunks of the scene, and the dreaded ball-cam closeup was also inexplicably favored.
The 90s saw an explosion of talent and product, much of it dreadful. Cookie-cutter blondes with bolt-ons mingled with the emerging gonzo industry's demonstration of exactly why most "talent" should stay amateurs. The four-hour comp VHS, with one recognizable talent at the beginning followed by 3 3/4 hours of nameless gonzo babes dildoing themselves for 45 minutes per scene wore out more fast-forward buttons than the ball-cam did. And Vivid Video pioneered the stereotypical over-indulgent feature "film", with 20 minutes of listening to TT Boy deliver expositionary dialogue before the first glimpse of any kind of female body part.
So, although I reserve the right to piss and moan about the latest pissing and moaning passing itself off as modern porn, at least it isn't the 60s with 8MM loops and faded old Playboy centerfolds.
Edit:
1) Penny Flame
2) The Great Aurora Snow
3) Dammit, I have to say that Sunny Lane can turn in a great scene
4) Candy Manson, despite being a sterotypical bolt-on blonde
5) Is Hailey Page still working?
The final five slots left as "oh, yeah, her too!" wildcards.
Does it undermine my 80s-bashing to compare to:
1) Amber Lynn
2) Ginger Lynn
3) Christy Canyon
4) Taija Rae
5) Samantha Strong
?
Edited by Calvin (03/25/07 04:21 PM)
_________________________
[The movie business] is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There is also a negative side. - Hunter S. Thompson
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#231224 - 03/25/07 06:39 PM
Re: The problem with porn today
|
AC Cream Wannabe
Registered: 09/11/06
Posts: 481
|
Quote:
Rayveness - still turnin it out
Was going to be in my original list of top current stars, but I left her out to focus on more recent additions.
Quote:
Kissi Kapri
Hot, until the bra comes off. Damn, imagine how much those things will sag by 25.
Back on topic (what? xpt threads staying on topic?), there are some good 70s films, but time tends to make one forget the horrors and only remember the cream of the crop. There were plenty of 70s films doing cringeworthy "Deep Throat" knockoffs - sitcommy dialogue and over-the-top clowning have afflicted porn to this day, in fact.
The best of today's porn probably compares to the best of any era. An 80s film starring Ginger, Amber, Tracey, and Barbara is hard to top, but the Aurora Snow example proves that there is still talent out there doing actually sexy work. Maybe 20 years from now "Aurora" will still be recognizable by first name alone, just like the 80s stars I cited?
_________________________
[The movie business] is a cruel and shallow money trench, a long plastic hallway where thieves and pimps run free, and good men die like dogs. There is also a negative side. - Hunter S. Thompson
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
#231225 - 03/25/07 08:18 PM
Re: The problem with porn today
|
Porn Jesus
Registered: 01/25/06
Posts: 4470
|
Quote:
I'm sure they rationalize it by going 'everybody in Cali has a sweet ride, I need one too if I want to be a player.'
Fuck being a player, if I lived in that clogged smog-zone known as LA (or anywhere in SoCal), I'd by the most fuel-efficient decent-looking within my means ride possible. A Hummer or any other big SUV (Platinum-X-mobile anyone?) is a pointless waste of $$ for the whores or anyone less than a production company owner, IMO.
And you're very right, the same stupid cunts that should be saving those earnings for their future, will piss it away on something that's about as investment worthy as a fucking burrito. Cars, as a whole, are worthless. Wait until you're 40 to go zooming around in the latest souped-up jackass-mobile.
_________________________
Because you already yelled 'dropping prices!!!' after Red Light canned you. - Gia Jordan to Brandon Iron
|
|
Top
|
|
|
|
|
|
0 registered (),
423
Guests and
2
Spiders online. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
|
Previous Topic
Index
