I always enjoy when criminals pop off with the "get out from behind your keyboard and __________________ (insert verb) me to my face" card. What the hell am I supposed to do? Get on a plane, fly to LAX, rent a car for the day, drive up the 405 to Porn Valley just to call Lackwood a queer?

Well, Skurt, I'm not gonna do it. A few reasons:
(i) I like money, but I don't like spending it when I don't have to
(ii) You aren't worth the money. You're an aging porn star whose stock is dropping faster than ENR. More and more directors refuse to use your delusional roihead Viagra-popping homo ass because you kill scenes.
(iii) I've played hockey for about 28 years now. If I want to go Bob Probert on someone's face, I'll do it in the rec league. Besides, after your done assaulting my fist with your nose, I'd have to get treated for a possible e.coli infection, it appears you once fucked Taryn Thomas.

Skurt, believe it or not, we have seen each other...2 years ago at AEE. You were perched in your hi-chair, shirtless and preening yourself. I was asking around who was the guy who looked like Dave Chappelle (turns out it was Sean Michaels, go figure). I walked right in front of your little stand and looked you straight in the eye, because I also wanted to know who the little boy running around in his boxers was (turns out it was you). I was also in the front row at the AVN Awards that year, how far back in the room were you?

Fly to L.A. just to kick your ass, what a waste of time.