Readers with a sensitive nature should note that this text contains offensive words such as "KSex" and "Wankus".
We apologize for their inclusion.
Anywho, Gram gave his take on things on a 'radio' show yesterday and the full story is
here on Adultfyi.com "Gram Ponante the self-proclaimed America's most beloved porn journalist [an acclaim second only on to being America's most influential serial killer] visited KSEX's The Wanker Show Wednesday night.
Insinuating legal reasons, Ponante, in carefully chosen words, told his side of the striptease shoving incident involving himself and a bare chested Kurt Lockwood on March 1. Basically it was the 6'6" Ponate against Lockwood who stands about a foot shorter.
"You get invited to a set and get treated horribly by someone in their cast," said Wankus. "Instead of someone making right by asking either to separate or to ask someone else to leave, they ask you to leave."
"On March 1st I was invited to the set," Ponante started. "I'm not going to say the name of the set..."
"Because we don't want to give any promotion to eXXXtra, eXXXtra," Wankus chimed in.
"It was in downtown LA and I was invited specifically, several times, to the set," continued Ponante. "I had interviewed the director [Jennifer James] a few times. Once in particular for the magazine, Xbiz."
Wankus noted that James was on the show the week previous giving her side of the story.
Ponante continued to say that he arrived about 11:30 in the morning on the set, accompanied by a friend of his. Prefacing his next remarks, Ponante said the business is 99% fun.
"Part of my fun job is going to porn sets and talking to the people there, eating craft services, taking pictures, sitting around and watching some cool people do what they do best. Then I write about it. But that's my job."
"I'm not blowing smoke up your ass," said Wankus who basically spent the next hour of the show wearing a smoking jacket and filling up ash trays. "You're tops- I love the way you write. Tyler [Faith] and I really feel that you're writing way about the average intellectual level of this community. As long as her and I get it, we're happy."
Ponante said he's been writing about the industry for about four years.
"Most of my interactions have been really positive."
Ponante mentioned that since the story broke he's read a lot of positive support for himself on various Internet postings.
He went on to describe how he arrived on set with his back pack- containing his laptop- on his shoulder.
"And I have a thermos full of coffee- Dunkin' Donuts coffee- I have it mailed to me. You can do anything on the Internet. I looked like anybody who goes to work anywhere in the world."
According to Ponante, James was talking to a performer [Lockwood].
"He's down for the day- because he's in a rental car and there had been some fracas earlier that Jennifer James had to talk him down from. [Probably the issue over Lockwood's dog being on the set.]
"I'm on the sidewalk- they're out on the street. I've already acknowledged Jennifer's existence because I had to drive past them on the way in. I'm just about to take a right into the complex where the shoot is being held. All of a sudden I hear, 'Hey, motherfucker.' I walked over and I knew it was the actor in question. I never had any problem with the guy. I talked with him a couple of times. I do a really difficult job sometimes trying to find the best things I can say about a lot of people. I don't try to explain nasty things about anyone. In subsequent research I've found that this person has had a lot of nasty things said about him.
"He thinks I called him a fag," Ponante went on. "He says, 'Hey, you called me a fag, motherfucker. All you pussies call us things from behind your computers and you don't have the balls to say it to our face.'"
Ponante made it clear that he goes to a lot of sets, including parties.
"I'm always out there so for somebody to say you don't have the balls to come out and see me or talk to me face to face is unfortunately untrue."
Wankus couldn't recall an instance where Ponante called Lockwood a fag or anyone else for that matter.
"We're from a part of the country where you call somebody a fag, it's like calling them a motherfucker," said Ponante.
Wankus then felt compelled to look up the definition of "fag" in the dictionary.
Paraphrasing Billy Ocean's Get Out of My Dreams and Into My Car, Ponante described how Lockwood got out of his car and into his face.
"We were face to face," said Ponante. "He was telling me how are you going to spin this now, intimating that there's a whole group of people in this world who have a problem with him who will only say bad things about him somewhere else. The problem I had, I think, a lot of porn personalities are treated harshly. I don't like the way they're treated. The further problem, is, I never called him what he said I called him. I said when did I call you a fag? And that was the last conversation we really had because then he started shoving me in the chest."
Wankus remembered his own confrontations with Lockwood- once, prompted when Wankus on KSEX begin imitating Lockwood's coolness in an FM voice.
"A Saturday Night Live-type parody all in fun," said Wankus. From that point, Wankus said Lockwood accused him of calling him a fag.
"He said that everybody does- at that point I hadn't- now I have. At that point I hadn't said shit about him. It was a fun little parody."
Extolling some of his own personal history, Ponante derscribed how he used to work his way through school in Boston as a night counselor in a psychiatric facility.
[Apparently Gram and I have some weird thing in common since I worked at a State Hospital in Philly in a similar capacity.]
"Are you the one that released Cindy Crawford?" Wankus asked innocently.
Ponante noted that this was the place that the Boston police would send the dangerous, psychotic criminals before they went into lock-up. The point of Ponante's story was probably to say that he's dealt with people more threatening than Lockwood.
Ponante talked about how when there's a full moon, you get more admissions.
[Curiously Lockwood's freak out came at the time of a full moon along with a lunar eclipse.]
"Every night I would get punched in the head," Ponante continued. "I would get sucker punched and I would have to do just as much to bring somebody down. I have no problem getting punched or punching somebody. But I only believe that's okay if you're actually crazy."
In another story Ponante told how he was in New York City one time standing outside of a club with a hot girlfriend.
"A little Napoleonic guy steps up in line- and I say- get behind us. He immediately starts punching and I punched him back. It was at that point when he was down on the ground bleeding when the police came. I found out that once you have a fight with somebody,it becomes irrelevant as to who started it."
Getting back to his confrontation with Lockwood and Lockwood asking him how he was going to spin this, Ponante asked himself what am I going to write?
"The second thing is I'm not rich- I can't replace this laptop really quickly. The third thing is I'm thinking there's a crowd of people around. If I put this bag [with the laptop] down and we throw down, who is going to come to my aid or his? How is this story going to [be read] by everybody else?"
There were about ten shoves by Ponante's count and "up in the peanut gallery is Luke Ford taking pictures with his camera."
Sunny Lane who's co-host of the KSEX show was on the set. She said she was going over her lines with James Bartholet when the incident unfolded. Lane said since it didn't involve her she kept her nose out of it.
Wankus showed Ponante the video clip for the first time. And Ponante said he asked Ford not to post it on his site.
"So he did- I'm not going to give him the traffic."
Ponante also mentioned that there was a guy who was trying to get by the scene, driving a truck.
"He started shouting something at Kurt and that was the natural transition."
Ponante also mentioned how because of the incident he hasn't been able to get much work done.
"I've been getting a lot of phone calls- a lot of people are calling me up and saying, 'Call me a fag, now, motherfucker.' It's a big joke. But I haven't been able to get any work done or very little because it's become a media circus."
On the other hand, Ponante has been telling people that you've got to take this incident seriously because he's not the only person this has happened to.
"This is not the first time this has happened- this is a job that people go to. I'm going to work."
"You're going for a commerce-positive reason," Wankus agreed.
Ponante said people wouldn't have asked him on the set if they didn't think the coverage he'd provide wasn't somehow worth it to them.
Referring to some of Ponante's postings, Wankus said he liked the way Gram referred to Lockwood as "the defendant."
"It actually gives him a measure of respect that he has been perhaps striving for," Ponante opined. "I just want to say it's really important that we're in a business that prides itself on its tolerance. For a long, long time it was a illegal. One of our own presidental candidates is notably on the record wanting to destroy it. And the last thing that should happen is people being attacked for their sexuality. I never called the guy what he says I called him. Nor would I call anybody that. But I think he's insecure about it enough that he's going to try to take everyone on about it."
"How can you be insecure about something you advertise?" Wankus asked.
"First of all you have a tattoo on your back that basically points to your ass and says hello, kids. Fuck me, here. Then you go on the record and say just to get you back I'm going to fucking do anal and have me fucked in the ass in my scenes. The tattoo is an arrow to his ass. He does anal scenes - what do you expect? You're in a spotlight. Of course people are going to call you a fag. It doesn't mean it's right or wrong. It just means it's part of the job.
"I'm a loudmouth on radio," Wankus continued. "I expect people to call me an asshole. I expect people to call me a jerk. I do the same thing when I'm on the radio. If I read some press about me from somebody saying that Wankus is a real asshole, am I supposed to go fight them? I had it comin.'"
For his part, Ponante said if he had to fight everyone on those issues, he'd have a lot of fights as well.
"And I'm not even the most inflammatory person out there."
"You never directly- you always creatively insinuate. I love it," said Wankus emptying another ash tray into the ball suck trash can.
Ponante said he'll get e-mails from people who don't like what he's written.
"I'll grant them anything. If they think I'm a dick. If they think I'm an asshole, whatever. But that doesn't give me any right to go and physically assault somebody."
Lane said she had a talk with Lockwood the day after the incident and gave Lockwood sticks and stone may break my bones advice.
"I said people are going to talk about you because you chose the path you chose to go down. Either you accept it, you embrace it and move on, or you let these people affect you. If you let people affect you, they're winning. And then they know it. So I said it's really up to you for those choices that you make."
Wankus said that was all well and good if Ponante had written shit about him. But he didn't.
According to him, the last thing Ponante expected was to be told to leave.
"I left and I thought, really, what kind of place is this that does something like that? Then when I started seeing on the web- a little bit later- the people that own this company defending their actions, and standing so far away from the responsibility, I was disgusted. Everybody I know who is an actual director or an actual company owner would call me up and say if that happened on my set, that defendant would have been sent home- without a doubt, in a minute."
"A female director said while I will not hire him [Lockwood] again, because this person is an asshole, a lot of the younger girls like him."
Ponante referred to some pro-Lockwood comments made by Jack Lawrence on KSEX. Wankus said Lawrence was entitled to his opinion.
Ponante again stated his gratefulness for the support he's received.
"There's a lot of anti-defendant hysteria," Ponante acknowledged. "I just want to make it clear the guy has friends as well. But it doesn't make what he did, right. Things are moving forward to perhaps curtail his ability to do those things until he gets himself some help."
Co-Sign. That would be worth every penny. 
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