OMG, Katja, you're amazing! I'm such a huuuuge fan! I loved the scene you did where you had anal sex!

Quick Q: How much would it cost me to watch you masturbate with a boa constrictor while I shit on a German flag and attempt Kraftwerk songs on a toy piano? It's $1700 to make love to you, correct? So maybe $250 would do it?

I'm so excited just thinking about this! If we could somehow make this work, it'd just be the bestest! Let me know, sweetums.