Judge: So let me see if I've got this straight here...this entire altercation took place because the defendant alleges that Mr. Ponanate called him a fag on his website.

Gram's lawyer: Your Honour, at no time has my client used the word 'fag' to refer to Mr. Lockwood on his website.

Kurt's lawyer: Not the specific term, no, but my client feels he has implied it in so many words.

Gram's lawyer: Your Honour, we would like to submit video and photographic evidence as well as signed depositions from Mr. Lockwood's co-workers that he does indeed like to have things rammed up his ass. I'd say that's pretty faggy behaviour...wouldn't you agree?

Judge: Case closed! I also find Mr.Lockwood to be in contempt of court for refusing to wear a shirt in my courtroom!