Sweet Martha Stewart! How dare they suggest that my lawn dilemma is just a troll! Those ignorant, selfish bastards! Isn't it enough that I've been dragged off by the PD, had my lawn crapped on, my wife and daughters terrified?

Seriously, these people are just unbelievable. They're worse than Christians. How dare they! I'm outraged, libeled, angered, enraged and defamed.